Meant-To-Be Marriage. Rebecca WintersЧитать онлайн книгу.
eyes glittered. “Evidently you didn’t get my note.”
Sydney struggled to catch her breath. “What note?”
“The one I left inside the front door screen of your cabin at Old Faithful.”
She put a hand to her throat. “When did you do that?”
“Saturday.”
Saturday she’d been told he was ill, yet seeing him she realized he’d never looked healthier.
“I—I’d already moved out and was at my parents’.”
I had the greatest breakdown of my life by driving over to Cannon to see you. But you weren’t there, and you’re not ill. What’s going on?
He grimaced. “When I didn’t hear from you all day today, I had a talk with Chief Ranger Archer. He told me you’d accepted a teaching job here, so I called around until I found you.”
Shock still held her in its grip. “I—I can’t imagine how you even knew I was a ranger.”
“It’s a long story,” his voice rasped. “I came as soon as I could.”
She stared at him in utter bewilderment. “What do you mean?”
He cocked his dark, attractive head. “The day you left Cannon you said, ‘I can’t stay, and you can’t come, can you?’ At the time, I couldn’t give you an answer.”
That moment had been so excruciating, she experienced physical pain all over again remembering it. For him to be so inhuman as to remind her of it—
Anger consumed her.
“So now you’ve decided you can?” she mocked in raw agony, remembering the kiss he’d given her that had said “goodbye forever.”
She backed away from him. “If you thought it would be safe to take a vacation from the Lord with me, then you never knew me, and I never knew you.” Her pain resounded off the walls of the living room. “Find someone else with whom you can indulge your needs before returning to your unsuspecting flock, Father Kendall.”
His features hardened like a block of chiseled granite. He made no move to go. “My name is Jarod. I’d like to hear you say it.”
She shook her head. “You mean you want me to use it while you’re away from Cannon and no one can see us?”
But even as she questioned his motives, she had to inspect her own motives that had propelled her to Cannon two days ago.
He gazed at her for a troubling moment. “You obviously need more time to absorb the fact I’m really here.”
“Time?” she bit out. “I admit there was a time when even though I knew it was impossible, the foolish part of me needed to hear you tell me you loved me so much, you would give up your vocation for me.
“That’s how naive, stupid, lovestruck and pathetic I once was. But after fifteen months, that person no longer exists.
“You’re the delusional one if you think you can just show up here without your collar and expect me to fall at your feet because you’ve got a little time on your hands away from everyone who knows you.”
The second the words left her lips, she realized how foolish that sounded. Minutes ago she’d almost fainted at the sight of him. In the next breath she cried, “I have no interest in you or your life!”
What a hypocrite she was.
“Please go!”
“I’ve missed you, too, Sydney. Try to get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow,” was all he said before he disappeared from her apartment.
Like someone who’d survived a battle and was the only one left alive, she stood there weaving in dazed shock.
When she’d done everything in her power to forget him, how could he be so cruel as to show up now after all this time had passed?
He’d known why she’d left Cannon. One of them had to leave, and it certainly wouldn’t have been the priest who’d dedicated his life to God and the parish!
Where was the sensitivity she’d seen in him during those months of counseling he’d given one of her students?
After those first few visits to his office with Brenda Halverson who was pregnant and afraid to tell her Catholic parents the truth, Sydney should have obeyed her instincts and quit her job. Any lie to break her teaching contract would have been worth it to get far away from him.
But her attraction to him had been so powerful, she couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing him again. The visits to his office with Brenda while he counseled her were all that had kept Sydney going that year.
He came to the high school activities where Brenda and other students in the parish were involved. She would talk to him then. Sometimes they saw each other on the street in passing and would stop to chat for a little while. Other times she attended Mass with Brenda where she could legitimately feast her eyes on him. Those were the moments she’d lived for. But it was no life!
On the morning she left Cannon, she’d stopped by his office to say goodbye. Another grave mistake. One she would always regret.
He had no indication of what was coming. When she told him she was on her way out of town for good, he got up from the chair and walked over to the closed door where she was standing. He looked physically hurt.
Inside she rejoiced at the anguish that had suddenly darkened his beautiful eyes. For once the facade had slipped, allowing her to see the full extent of his emotions. They told her he was in great pain, too.
She wanted him to be in pain. It was selfish of her, but she couldn’t help it.
“You’re really leaving?” he whispered. His voice sounded thick, gravelly.
“As soon as I walk out of this office. My bags are packed in the car.”
“Sydney—”
The way he said her name ripped her insides apart.
“I can’t stay.” Her voice trembled. “You can’t come with me. Can you?”
Their gazes clung for an infinity of time.
A heavy silence filled the room. It lasted so long she thought he was getting ready to tell her the one thing she needed to hear that would keep her from going anywhere.
Instead, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her mouth. It gave her a taste of all the things they would never share. Not each other’s bodies, not each other’s thoughts, hearts or souls, not each other’s hopes, dreams, not their joy or laughter, not their children.
Nothing…
When the message was received, she tore her lips from his and ran from his arms, from his office, from the tiny town she would never see again. She’d been running ever since.
Except for her slip on Saturday when all she’d wanted to do was look at him for a little while unobserved, she’d stayed away.
How was it possible he’d traced her here?
Why dredge up the most agonizing experience of her life?
Had it hurt his pride that since their parting she hadn’t come crawling back to him like a beggar? In order to satisfy his ego, had he planned this side trip to Yellowstone to provoke her into a clandestine relationship with him?
It wasn’t going to happen!
Maybe he got his jollies from imagining there was a woman out there who longed for him. Even if he’d only been able to get as far as his thoughts where Sydney was concerned, did that mean he had no conscience?
Could he honestly go back to his world without it disturbing the tenor of his existence?
She’d bet her life his colleagues in the diocese