It Started With... Collection. Miranda LeeЧитать онлайн книгу.
being ridiculous again,’ he growled. ‘About everything. Jessie, I really like you. No, that’s a lie. I love you, damn it.’
Jessie gasped into the phone.
‘Yes, yes, I’m sure you don’t believe me. But it’s true.’
‘It’s you who’s being ridiculous,’ Jessie countered once she got over her shock. ‘I know what you love, Kane Marshall, and it isn’t the real me. It’s the silly, weak woman I became last night. I don’t know what got into me to let you do all those things. My only excuse is that I hadn’t been with a man in such a long time. And, of course, you seemed to know just what to do to tap into my dark side.’
‘Your dark side? I wasn’t trying to tap into your dark side, sweetheart. Just your feminine side. That side you put on hold most of the time whilst you’re being one tough mamma who thinks all men are lying scumbags who couldn’t possibly love you or want you for anything other than sex. For pity’s sake, I know you’ve been hurt by other men in the past. Your less than admirable father and that creep, Lyall. But that doesn’t mean all men are bad. You don’t like other people misjudging you, or jumping to conclusions over your morals, but you’re only too ready to jump to conclusions over mine.’
Jessie winced. He was right. She knew he was right.
‘You’re a wonderful girl, Jessie,’ he said more gently. ‘But you really need to get that chip off your shoulder. I want you in my life. You and Emily. But you have to believe in me, and trust me. I don’t know what else I can say to convince you that I’m sincere. Look, if you don’t think you could ever love me back, then I suppose I’m just wasting my time. If last night was just you exorcising your sexual frustrations then I guess that’s that, then. Just let me say that last night was the most incredible night of my life. You are everything I want in a woman and a lover, Jessie Denton.’
Jessie felt totally chastened by his speech. And moved. ‘I…I thought last night was pretty incredible, too. I’m sorry I said what I said, Kane. And I’m sorry I’m such a bitch.’
He laughed. ‘In a way, I like that about you. But I like the woman you were last night, too. They’re both you, Jessie. And I love them both.’
‘I wish you wouldn’t keep saying that you love me.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I’m afraid of it.’
‘Yes, I know that, sweetheart. But you’re going to have to get used to it. I love you and I’m not going to go away.’
She was beginning to see that, his reassurance flooding through her heart like a giant wave, washing away some of those old fears, the ones where she did think no man would ever truly love and want her, not now that she had Emily. Her mother had drummed into her that no man really wanted another man’s child.
But was he talking marriage here? She didn’t like to ask. It was premature. And what about the matter of children? Dora could be right there. Maybe he would want children with her, if he loved her enough. If not, at least she already had Emily. And he seemed to genuinely like Emily.
‘It might be nice if you told me what you feel for me,’ Kane inserted softly. ‘I need some encouragement here.’
‘I doubt you ever need encouragement when you want something, Kane Marshall.’
‘I’ve never wanted something quite so unattainable before.’
‘How can you say that after the way I acted last night? You said “jump” and I said “how high?”’
‘That’s just during sex. On a day-to-day basis, you’re extremely difficult to handle. Now, am I allowed to come over today?’
‘No.’
‘How come I knew you were going to say that? What about tomorrow? Can I take you and Emily out, as I was going to?’
‘Yes, but no sex.’ This edict was more for her benefit than his. She was so tender down there, it wasn’t funny.
‘I wasn’t expecting any. Besides, I’m knackered.’
‘That’s today. You’ll be recovered by tomorrow.’
‘You could be right. I’ll be even more recovered by Monday.’
‘Monday is a work day.’
‘Yes, but there’s always our lunch-hour. Karen always goes out and I have that lovely office—complete with that huge Chesterfield—all to myself.’
Jessie’s cheeks burned at the thought. Just as well he couldn’t see her. ‘You don’t honestly expect me to do that, do you?’ she said, trying to sound shocked and not excited.
‘A man can always hope.’
‘Friday night is our date night,’ she said primly. ‘You’ll have to wait till then.’
‘Friday night is a definite, then? No excuses?’
‘No excuses.’
‘Next Friday night is the office Christmas party,’ he told her in an amused tone. ‘As the acting boss, I’m obliged to attend. As a new employee, I will expect you to be there too, in a sexy party dress.’
‘You devil! You tricked me.’
‘You should have remembered.’
‘I’m not having you make love to me in your office.’
‘You gave me your word. You told me you were a woman of your word.’
‘That’s emotional blackmail.’
‘No one will notice if we slip away from time to time,’ he said softly. ‘My office is out of the way. And it has a lock on its door.’
‘But I wouldn’t be able to relax,’ she protested. ‘I’d be worried what people might be thinking.’
‘Who cares what they think? After Christmas, I won’t be the boss there any longer and no one will think a thing.’
‘They’ll always think you hired me because you fancied me.’
‘Mmm. Could be true.’
‘But it isn’t! You know it isn’t!’
‘Yes, I know. I was only teasing. We’ll be very discreet. Tell me you love me, Jessie Denton.’
‘No.’
‘But you know you do.’
‘All I know is that you’re a very arrogant man. And far, far too sure of himself. You need pulling down a peg or two.’
‘And you, missie, need a lot more loving.’
‘Is that what they’re calling it these days?’
‘Would you rather I used a cruder term?’
‘No.’
‘Good, because I’m not just talking about sex. I’m talking loving in the wider context. You need everything a man who loves you can provide. You need caring for. And protection. And support. And security. You need someone there to help you when things go wrong, someone you can turn to and rely upon.’
Oh, how wonderful that would be, she thought with a deep sigh. But was it just a dream, a mad promise from a lust-crazed fool, or the offer of a man genuinely in love?
Jessie had been cynical too long to accept what Kane was offering without any wariness whatsoever.
‘What you need,’ Kane finished, ‘is me.’
‘Yes, I certainly do,’ she agreed. ‘You’ve revitalised my libido with a vengeance. But we’ll both have to wait till Friday to tackle it.’
He swore. The first time he’d sworn in front of her.
‘What you need, madam,’