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you insolent rascal!” said Cleveland, grasping the cane which he carried, “ do you think to bamboozle me with your impudence? As you would have a whole head on your shoulders, and your bones in a whole skin, one minute longer, tell me where the devil you stole my wearing apparel?”
Bryce Snailsfoot ejaculated once more a repetition of the word “ Stole! Now Heaven be gude to us! “ but at the same time, conscious that the Captain was likely to be sudden in execution, cast an anxious look to the town, to see the loitering aid of the civil power advance to his rescue.
“I insist on an instant-answer,” said the Captain, with upraised weapon, “ or else I will beat you to a mummy, and throw out all your frippery upon the common!”
Meanwhile, Master John Bunce, who considered the whole affair as an excellent good jest, and not the worse one that it made Cleveland very angry, seized hold of the Captain’s arm, and, without any idea of ultimately preventing him from executing his threats, interfered just so much as was necessary to protract a discussion so amusing.
“Nay, let the honest man speak,” he said, “ messmate; he has as fine a cozening face as ever stood on a knavish pair of shoulders, and his are the true flourishes of eloquence, in the course of which men snip the cloth an inch too short. Now, I wish you to consider that you are both of a trade, — he measures bales by the yard, and you by the sword, — and so I will not have him chopped up till he has had a fair chase.”
“You are a fool!” said Cleveland, endeavouring to shake his friend off. — ” Let me go! for, by Heaven, I will be foul of him!”
“Hold him fast,” said the pedlar, “ good dear merry gentleman, hold him fast!”
“Then say something for yourself,” said Bunce; “ use your gob-box, man; patter away, or, by my soul, I will let him loose on you!”
“He says I stole these goods,” said Bryce, who now saw. himself run so close, that pleading to the charge became inevitable. “ Now, how could I steal them, when they are mine by fair and lawful purchase?”
“Purchase! you beggarly vagrant! “ said Cleveland; “from whom did you dare to buy my clothes? or who had the impudence to sell them?”
“Just that worthy professor, Mrs. Swertha, the housekeeper at Jarlshof, who acted as your executor,” said the pedlar; “ and a grieved heart she had.”
“And so she was resolved to make a heavy pocket of it, I suppose,” said the Captain; “ but how did she dare to sell the things left in her charge?”
“Why, she acted all for the best, good woman!” said the pedlar, anxious to protract the discussion until the arrival of succours; “and, if you will but hear reason, I am ready to account with you for the chest and all that it holds.”
“Speak out, then, and let us have none of thy damnable evasions,” said Captain Cleveland; “if you show ever so little purpose of being somewhat honest for once in thy life, I will not beat thee.”
“Why, you see, noble Captain,” said the pedlar, — and then muttered to himself, “plague on Pate Paterson’s cripple knee, they will be waiting for him, hirpling useless body!” then resumed aloud — ” The country, you see, is in great perplexity — great perplexity, indeed, — much perplexity, truly. There was your honour missing, that was loved by great and small — clean missing — nowhere to be heard of — a lost man — umquhile — dead — defunct!”
“You shall find me alive to your cost, you scoundrel!” said the irritated Captain.
“Weel, but take patience, — ye will not hear a body speak,” said the Jagger. — ” Then there was the lad Mordaunt Mertoun”
“Ha!” said the Captain, “ what of him? “ “ Cannot be heard of,” said the pedlar; “ clean and clear tint, — a gone youth; — fallen, it is thought, from the craig into the sea — he was aye venturous. I have had dealings with him for furs and feathers, whilk he swapped against powder and shot, and the like; and now he has worn out from among us — clean retired — utterly vanished, like the last puff of an auld wife’s tobacco pipe.”
“But what is all this to the Captain’s clothes, my dear friend?” said Bunce; “ I must presently beat you myself unless you come to the point.”
“Weel, weel, — patience, patience,” said Bryce, waving his hand; “ you will get all time enough. Weel, there are two folks gane, as I said, forbye the distress at Burgh-Westra about Mistress Minna’s sad ailment”
“Bring not htr into your buffoonery, sirrah,” said Cleveland, in a tone of anger, not so loud, but far deeper and more concentrated than he had hitherto used; “ for, if you name her with less than reverence, I will crop the ears out of your head, and make you swallow them on the spot!”
“He, he, he!” faintly laughed the Jagger; “that were a pleasant jest! you are pleased to be witty. But, to say naething of Burgh-Westra, there is the carle of Jarlshof, he that was the auld Mertoun, Mordaunt’s father, whom men thought as fast bound to the place he dwelt in as the Sumburgh Head itsell, naething maun serve him but he is lost as weel as the lave about whom I have spoken. And there’s Magnus Troil (wi’ favour be he named) taking horse; and there is pleasant Maister Claud Halcro taking boat, whilk he steers worst of any man in Zetland, his head running on rambling rhymes; and the Factor body is on the stir — the Scots Factor, — him that is aye speaking of dikes and delving, and such unprofitable wark, which has naething of merchandise in it, and he is on the lang trot, too; so that ye might say, upon a manner, the tae half of the Mainland of Zetland is lost, and the other is running to and fro seeking it — awfu’ times!”
Captain Cleveland had subdued his passion, and listened to this tirade of the worthy man of merchandise, with impatience indeed, yet not without the hope of hearing something that! might concern him. But his companion was now become impatient in his turn: — ”The clothes!” he exclaimed, “the clothes, the clothes, the clothes!” accompanying each repetition of the words with a flourish of his cane, the dexterity of which consisted in coming mighty near the Jagger’s ears without actually touching them.
The Jagger, shrinking from each of these demonstrations, continued to exclaim, “ Nay, sir — good sir-r-worthy sir — for the clothes — I found the worthy dame in great distress on! account of her old maister, and on account of her young maister, and on account of worthy Captain Cleveland; and because of the distress of the worthy Fowd’s family, and the trouble of the great Fowd himself, — and because of the Factor, and in respect of Claud Halcro, and on other accounts and respects. Also we mingled our sorrows and our tears with a bottle, as the holy text hath it, and called in the Ranzelmam to our council, a worthy man, Niel Ronaldson by name, who hath a good reputation.”
Here another flourish of the cane came so very near that it partly touched his ear. The Jagger started back, and the truth, or that which he desired should be considered as such, bolted from him without more circumlocution; as a cork, after much unnecessary buzzing and fizzing, springs forth from a bottle of spruce beer.
“In brief, what the deil mair would you have of it? — the woman sold me the kist of clothes — they are mine by purchase, and that is what I will live and die upon.”
“In other words,” said Cleveland, “ this greedy old hag had the impudence to sell what was none of hers; and you, honest Bryce Snailsfoot, had the assurance to be the purchaser?”
“Ou dear, Captain,” said the conscientious pedlar, “ what wad ye hae had twa poor folk to do? There was yoursell gane that aught the things, and Maister Mordaunt was gane that had them in keeping, and the things were but damply put up, where they were rotting with moth and mould, and”
“And so this old thief sold them, and you bought them, I suppose, just to keep them from spoiling? “ said Cleveland.
“Weel then,” said the merchant, “I’m thinking, noble Captain, that wad be just the gate of it.”
“Well then,