Pulpy and Midge. Jessica WestheadЧитать онлайн книгу.
store buying your pants, and some underwear for myself because I was running low. I bought a few pairs of the shiny kind you like, with the lacy elastic? And somehow the cashier closed the cash drawer on one of them, and then she started yanking on it. Well, at first it was tugging. But it wasn’t very long before it was yanking.’ She bent her elbow and rammed it sideways to show him.
‘Hmm.’ He stood up. ‘Did she say anything?’
‘Not to me. But she said to the woman who was bagging for her, “I can’t get these panties out of my cash drawer.” Like it was the panties’ fault. And the woman who was bagging for her said, “Why don’t you ring in the purchases first, and then get the panties out when the cash drawer pops open?” It was a spectacle. Shoppers at the back of the line knew what was going on. I don’t know how I’m going to show my face when I return your pants today.’
‘I think I’ll keep them all.’ Pulpy took his coat off the coat tree and pushed his hands through the sleeves. ‘I think I’ll keep all three pairs of pants. Then you don’t have to worry about returning them. It’s time I gave my wardrobe a makeover. Plus, they’re very comfortable.’
‘And Beatrice likes them too.’ Midge frowned. ‘The way they jingle, she said.’
‘Beatrice?’ His zipper caught on the way up and he struggled with it. ‘Midge, she’s my boss’s wife.’
She crossed her legs. ‘I don’t think I’d like a thong. Would you like me to wear a thong?’
He blinked at her. ‘I’d like it if you liked it. Only if it was comfortable for you. Or it doesn’t matter.’
‘Then maybe I’ll try it.’ She looked at the empty space next to her on the couch and cinched her robe tighter.
‘That might be nice.’ Pulpy reached in and moved some hair off her forehead. The way Midge’s hair feathered at the sides of her head was like the scalloped edge of a seashell, and he loved that about her.
‘Although I really think it would be uncomfortable. They look uncomfortable,’ she said. ‘Plus nobody I know wears one. At least, nobody’s told me they do.’
‘Would your friends tell you they were wearing a thong?’ The seashell scallops didn’t show up in photos, and Pulpy thought that was a shame. ‘I think my friends would be embarrassed to tell me.’
‘Your friends wouldn’t wear a thong.’
He nodded and started putting on his boots. ‘I should get to work.’
‘Let’s have the evening to ourselves tonight,’ she said. ‘I want it to be just us. I’ll show off my new hairdo for you.’
‘Okay, that sounds nice. They won’t cut too much, though, will they?’
‘I’ll tell them.’ She smiled at him. ‘How’s your fish? I bet it’s fun having him on your desk.’
‘Oh, fine.’ He lifted his right foot to pull on that boot and nearly lost his balance.
She reached out to steady him. ‘Mr. Fins loves it in our bedroom. He just swims and swims.’
‘Pulpy!’ said Dan’s voice as soon as Pulpy sat down.
Pulpy jerked, and Eduardo in the next cubicle leaned back a little to see around their partition.
Dan came up and clapped Pulpy on the back. ‘Beatrice and I had a great time with you and Midge last night!’
‘Well.’ Pulpy watched Eduardo listening. ‘Thank you. We did too.’
‘A great time. And I was thinking – Beatrice and I were saying to each other after you left – that you are exactly the person we need to set things right around here.’
‘I am?’
‘You are.’
‘Is Beatrice here today?’
‘She’s going to start tomorrow.’ Dan focused on Pulpy’s computer screen. ‘She had some appointments to attend.’
Pulpy moved his cursor, just to do something. ‘Midge is getting her hair cut today.’
‘There you go.’ Dan smiled at him. ‘Beatrice was saying she’d love to go shopping with Midge sometime. Do you think Midge would like that?’
‘Oh, sure.’ He nodded. ‘Sure she would.’
‘Great. You know, Pulpy, I think we can really do a lot better here. There is definite room for improvement in this office, and as head of the Social Committee you could be a real force for change.’
‘Do we have a Social Committee?’
‘We do now. You can’t organize a potluck without a Social Committee.’
‘Hmm,’ said Pulpy. ‘I never really think of myself as a force.’
‘Well, you can start today. Because a force is what you are. A force to be reckoned with.’
Pulpy looked down at his chest and pulled at his shirt to make the buttons align more evenly. ‘Maybe you’re right.’
‘I know I am. And I’m glad to see you’re coming around. Now all we need is some forward momentum and there’s nothing we can’t do.’
He pinched his fingers along the neat fold down the front of his new pants. ‘Then I guess it’s worth a try.’
‘So!’ Dan put his hands on his hips. ‘What are you and Midge up to this evening?’
‘Hmm, well. I’m not sure.’
‘Great! We’ll come over.’
‘Oh, Pulpy, my hair looks awful!’
‘What happened?’ Pulpy had the pay phone between his cheek and his shoulder and was holding a napkin dispenser from one of the food-court tables. He pulled out a napkin and dabbed it onto the mustard stain on his new pants.
‘I said to her, “The front and the sides are good. Don’t touch the front or the sides. The top and the back, that’s all I need done.” But she didn’t listen to me!’
‘I’m sure it looks fine. But maybe you should try a different hairdresser next time.’
‘I couldn’t do that.’ She went quiet for a second. ‘I’ve been with her for so long, Pulpy. We have a history together. And then what if the new hairdresser did a bad job? A worse job? Then I’d have to go back to my old hairdresser and she’d know I’d seen someone else and it would be very uncomfortable.’
‘You could if you wanted to.’ The stain wasn’t coming out. He shoved the soiled napkin into the breast pocket of his coat and pulled a fresh one out of the dispenser. ‘It’s all about reframing.’
‘Where did you hear that?’
‘The receptionist. She’s taking a course.’
‘Hmm,’ said Midge.
‘Did we have a plan for tonight?’ he said. ‘Were we doing anything?’
‘No, we said we were staying in, remember?’
Neither of them said anything for a few seconds and then Pulpy cleared his throat. ‘Guess what? Dan made me the head of the Social Committee.’
‘He did? That’s got to be a good sign. Has he said anything about your promotion yet?’
‘Not yet. But I’m organizing a potluck. I have to make a sign-up sheet.’ He lost his grip on the napkin and it drifted to the floor. ‘Dan also said Beatrice wants to go shopping with you.’
‘What? But I don’t even know her.’
‘But at the Ice Follies. You got to know her then. And she’s my boss’s