In The East. Maria Pia OelkerЧитать онлайн книгу.
mean that you never asked him if they wanted to meet his brother and maybe come and spend little time here? After all, they are only two boys.”
" No. They have their life at the court, and they must not mix with you.”
"But why?”
"It's like that because that is my decision" the king cut her short.
The queen did not give up: " Perhaps they would like to come here to hunt with you.”
" No. It is out of the question, do not insist " and this time even the queen had to admit that his decision was final.
She did not know the past life of the king in great detail, although, like everyone else, she knew that the first marriage had been a source of bitterness for him and his wife; married for political reasons, they had never been able to love each other. It was rumored that the queen had betrayed him for a long time with young nobles of the court, but then he too had had more than one mistress who had gladly consoled him with her graces. It was not unusual, and no one too surprised; the king did not have an easy disposition and the queen, well-informed sources always said, knew how to stand up to him, indeed, at times, she was sometimes even more stubborn and overbearing than him, and was ambitiously malicious.
When she died, everyone had thought that the king would no longer risk marrying again, all the more so because the descendants were already assured, and he would still enjoy a few beautiful complacent ladies without too many burdens and unknowns.
Instead…
The queen well remembered those terrible and anxious days in which she had been asked to reflect on the proposal that came from the court and how her father, in truth, had not given her many alternatives in this regard.
" It is either the king " had said " or the convent. Nobody will marry you anymore if you refuse the king, because he will take revenge on us, discrediting me and my family and because no noble of the kingdom would dare to aspire in the future to a woman the king had chosen for himself.”
But she was not at all sorry to give her consent, because she had gotten to know him and thought his soul had the potential of being noble and generous, beyond appearances.
For nine years now she had shared her life with him, but she had never had the audacity to ask him anything more about the previous queen and why he absolutely did not want his two older sons to know her and visit her at her castle.
She had just caught a glimpse of them on their wedding day; obviously, they had been invited but kept to the side; they had seemed closed and hostile. Perhaps, only sad, and jealous like all the children who had witnessed frigid family relationships and who were forced to endure a stepmother.
They were still small, four to five years old, but with their mind made up and not at all willing to smile and welcome her like a new mother.
Moreover, the king had given neither them nor her the chance to try to build a more caring bond because the queen had been almost immediately isolated in her splendid prison and the two children had continued to live at the court with their tutors and military instructors, between servants and rulers who did not make them want for anything. But they were missing the affection of a father, physically always very present, but distant as far as everything else was concerned, and a mother to soften their grim existence.
" Too bad " the queen murmured " I would have liked to welcome them almost like my own children.”
"They are not," the king" replied acidly. “I myself have never been able to really love them.”
" And yet you've always had them close, much more than our son and you say you love him.”
" He is different ... You are different.”
" Or maybe you're not the same when you're here and when you're at court; or perhaps release on them the old grudges of which they are only the victims.”
" What do you know about it?”
" Nothing, it's true, but you can't be unaware of what everyone was saying about the king and his queen.”
The king instinctively raised his hand to strike her, but immediately, repenting, he held it back.
"Excuse me," he whispered, "you're right, everyone knew and talked, more or less haphazardly. Do you want me to tell you once and for all the reason I hated the queen and now I can't love my children? Is that what you need in order to leave me alone?”
The king's voice sounded a little forced and not at all different than usual, as if he were begging her to free him from a nightmare and, at the same time, asking her not to let him go back to his old ways of suffering.
He was uncertain, poised between two opposed temptations.
" No, I don't want to know if this causes you pain. But if you want me to tell you how I feel about it, if I'm allowed ...”
" You know you are the only one who can do it.”
" ... I believe that whatever happened, your children have nothing to do with it. They were entitled to your fatherly love and still are. And although many years have passed, perhaps it is still not too late to bring them closer to you. If you don't want me to get to know them or for them to frequent our son, do as you wish. It doesn't seem right though. As far as the rest it is your duty to fix it.”
" Is this what you think?”
" Yes.”
" Even if you had to lose something?”
" What on earth could I lose? The rights that I don't have and will never have? I don't care about that.”
" All right. And our son?”
" He would never be king anyway.”
" I could make him king, by my decree.”
" I would stop you. It would be unfair and brutal towards them and would only hurt him.”
The king frowned, deep in thoughts. He took a few steps away from the queen and went to look out at one of the windows that overlooked a small internal garden, which everyone called the queen's kingdom, because she did not let anyone else take care of it.
He observed in silence for a few minutes the lively plants of roses, asters and hydrangeas that adorned the flowerbeds around the pool, where mysterious water lilies bloomed, small hedges full of curious red berries grew as well as the bench where he imagined seeing his wife laughing and chatting tenderly with the prince, who was near her and drank eagerly every word from her lips.
"Come here, next to me," he said slowly, almost in a whisper.
When she was beside him, he squeezed her hand and, still without looking at her, continued: "Betrayal is nothing; cynicism without shame is what can completely destroy you.”
"I am afraid I don’t understand," the queen murmured.
" I knew my wife was cheating on me and I knew with whom and how and when. A king " he smiled bitterly " always has many zealous informants. But then neither of us expected love from marriage. I was free, she was free, this was in the terms of our marriage contract. When she learned she was close to death, she made me swear that I would respect the rights of her children, despite the hatred that had divided us, and I, stupidly, had no difficulty doing so: the two children were also mine and I loved them. I had not always been a perfect father, nor a bad parent. Only when she was sure she had achieved what she wanted, she revealed to me that neither was mine, that she had made me believe it by pretending from the beginning, taking advantage of me at will and laughing at me with her young suitors. I never knew who the father was.”
" And the kids loved you?”
" I think so. Now I don't care anymore. I can't even stand their sight. I don't want you and the prince to mix with them. I can’t stand watching people I love mixing with those who only remind me of hatred and malice.”
" Please forgive me if I insist: you should try to see them with different eyes. None of this is their fault.”
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