The Essential W. Somerset Maugham Collection. W. Somerset MaughamЧитать онлайн книгу.
trusted; and yet I'm ashamed to want it.'
'Don't be too hard upon yourself,' she said gently. 'You're so afraid of letting your tenderness appear.'
He seemed to give earnest thought to what she said. Lucy had never seen him more grave.
'The only way to be strong is _never_ to surrender to one's weakness. Strength is merely a habit. I want you to be strong, too. I want you never to doubt me whatever you hear said.'
'I gave my brother into your hands, and I said that if he died a brave man's death, I could ask for no more. You told me that such a death was his.'
'I thought of you always, and everything I did was for your sake. Every single act of mine during these four years in Africa has been done because I loved you.'
It was the first time since his return that he had spoken of love. Lucy bent her head still lower.
'Do you remember, I asked you a question before I went away? You refused to marry me then, but you told me that if I asked again when I came back, the answer might be different.'
'Yes.'
'The hope bore me up in every difficulty and in every danger. And when I came back I dared not ask you at once; I was so afraid that you would refuse once more. And I didn't wish you to think yourself bound by a vague promise. But each day I loved you more passionately.'
'I knew, and I was very grateful for your love.'
'Yesterday I could have offered you a certain name. I only cared for the honours they gave me so that I might put them at your feet. But what can I offer you now?'
'You must love me always, Alec, for now I have only you.'
'Are you sure that you will never believe that I am guilty of this crime?'
'Why can you say nothing in self-defence?'
'That I can't tell you either.'
There was a silence between them. At last Alec spoke again.
'But perhaps it will be easier for you to believe in me than for others, because you know that I loved you, and I can't have done the odious thing of which that man accuses me.'
'I will never believe it. I do not know what your reasons are for keeping all this to yourself, but I trust you, and I know that they are good. If you cannot speak, it is because greater interests hold you back. I love you, Alec, with all my heart, and if you wish me to be your wife I shall be proud and honoured.'
He took her in his arms, and as he kissed her, she wept tears of happiness. She did not want to think. She wanted merely to surrender herself to his strength.
XVI
Lady Kelsey's devout hope that her party would finish without unpleasantness was singularly frustrated. Robert Boulger was irritated beyond endurance by the things Lucy had said to him; and Lucy besides, as if to drive him to distraction, had committed a peculiar indiscretion. In her determination to show the world in general, represented then by the two hundred people who were enjoying Lady Kelsey's hospitality, that she, the person most interested, did not for an instant believe what was said about Alec, Lucy had insisted on dancing with him. Alec thought it unwise thus to outrage conventional opinion, but he could not withstand her fiery spirit. Dick and Mrs. Crowley were partners at the time, and the disapproval which Lucy saw in their eyes, made her more vehement in her defiance. She had caught Bobbie's glance, too, and she flung back her head a little as she saw his livid anger.
Little by little Lady Kelsey's guests bade her farewell, and at three o'clock few were left. Lucy had asked Alec to remain till the end, and he and Dick had taken refuge in the smoking-room. Presently Boulger came in with two men, named Mallins and Carbery, whom Alec knew slightly. He glanced at Alec, and went up to the table on which were cigarettes and various things to drink. His companions had no idea that he was bent upon an explanation and had asked them of set purpose to come into that room.
'May we smoke here, Bobbie?' asked one of them, a little embarrassed at seeing Alec, but anxious to carry things off pleasantly.
'Certainly. Dick insisted that this room should be particularly reserved for that purpose.'
'Lady Kelsey is the most admirable of all hostesses,' said Dick lightly.
He took out his case and offered a cigarette to Alec. Alec took it.
'Give me a match, Bobbikins, there's a good boy,' he said carelessly.
Boulger, with his back turned to Alec, took no notice of the request. He poured himself out some whisky, and raising the glass, deliberately examined how much there was in it. Alec smiled faintly.
'Bobbie, throw me over the matches,' he repeated.
At that moment Lady Kelsey's butler came into the room with a salver, upon which he put the dirty glasses. Bobbie, his back still turned, looked up at the servant.
'Miller.'
'Yes, sir.'
'Mr. MacKenzie is asking for something.'
'Yes, sir.'
'You might give me a match, will you?' said Alec.
'Yes, sir.'
The butler put the matches on his salver and took them over to Alec, who lit his cigarette.
'Thank you.'
No one spoke till the butler left the room. Alec occupied himself idly in making smoke rings, and he watched them rise into the air. When they were alone he turned slowly to Boulger.
'I perceive that during my absence you have not added good manners to your other accomplishments,' he said.
Boulger wheeled round and faced him.
'If you want things you can ask servants for them.'
'Don't be foolish,' smiled Alec, good-humouredly.
Alec's contemptuous manner robbed Boulger of his remaining self-control. He strode angrily to Alec.
'If you talk to me like that I'll knock you down.'
Alec was lying stretched out on the sofa, and did not stir. He seemed completely unconcerned.
'You could hardly do that when I'm already lying on my back,' he murmured.
Boulger clenched his fists. He gasped in the fury of his anger.
'Look here, MacKenzie, I'm not going to let you play the fool with me. I want to know what answer you have to make to Macinnery's accusation.'
'Might I suggest that only Miss Allerton has the least right to receive answers to her questions? And she hasn't questioned me.'
'I've given up trying to understand her attitude. If I were she, it would make me sick with horror to look at you. But after all I have the right to know something. George Allerton was my cousin.'
Alec rose slowly from the sofa. He faced Boulger with an indifference which was peculiarly irritating.
'That is a fact upon which he did not vastly pride himself.'
'Since this morning you've rested under a perfectly direct charge of causing his death in a dastardly manner. And you've said nothing in self-defence.'
'I haven't.'
'You've been given an opportunity of explaining yourself, and you haven't taken it.'
'Quite true.'
'What are you going to do?'
Alec had already been asked that question by Dick,