Leave Me Breathless. HelenKay DimonЧитать онлайн книгу.
I actually do.”
To be fair, the day had been an absolute pisser. When a threatening note turned out to be the highlight, a shit storm of bad news was inevitable. Mark wanted to beef up security. The courtrooms had to be locked down during business hours. And there was that whole hand-holding thing she witnessed.
But Callie still had a job to do. If that got in the way of his office loving with Emma, then tough shit. “After this morning, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Don’t remind me.” Ben stripped off his robe. The jacket came next, leaving him in a white dress shirt and tie.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
His hands dropped to his sides. “Did it ever dawn on you that I didn’t want to share the note with Mark?”
Callie realized they were talking about two very different things. She worried about Ben’s safety and assumed he was tired of having someone with him at all times. He got stuck on the chain of command. Looked like a case of Ben being knocked flat by his oversized ego.
“Mark is trying to protect you,” she pointed out for what felt like the three hundredth time.
“I don’t need my big brother to rescue me.”
“Is that what this is about? You’re having a crisis of male self-worth? If so, snap the hell out of it.” She grabbed Ben’s arm and forced him to look at her. “For God’s sake, you’re smarter than this.”
“I told you once that I don’t accept a belligerent tone from employees.”
“And I ignored you.”
“I’ve earned the right to expect more respect than you show me.” His voice stayed sharp, but he didn’t pull away from her touch.
“First, as you pointed out, I don’t work for you.” She eased up on her grip because he didn’t seem to be running away. Well, not physically. Mentally he had left the building. “Second, you have to earn respect, and stomping around and acting stupid is not the way to do that.”
“Did you talk to your supervisors at the FBI like this?”
“No.”
That was the truth. Even though it killed her inside, she had shown deference and played by the rules. She took crap from her boss and refrained from pushing him out a window, because that’s what she had to do to keep the job she worked so hard to get. When all of that reluctant patience backfired, she learned a hard lesson. Now she refused to hide and stay quiet. No longer would she wallow in false obedience. If someone needed to be called a jackass, she would do it.
Which probably explained why she had been unemployed for almost two months before Mark came knocking and offering odd jobs. Then came the Ben gig. Callie said yes but attached some strings. She didn’t have to toe the line or cut through bureaucratic bullshit. She could say what she needed to say as long as Ben stayed safe, and it was up to Ben to figure out how to deal with her truthfulness.
“Why did you get fired?” Ben asked.
He was fishing. If he had the facts he would have chosen his words more carefully. “I didn’t, and my life is not your business.”
“That goes both ways.”
“No. I need you to listen and follow my lead.”
His teeth slammed together hard enough for her to hear the click. “This is my fucking office.”
He delivered his observation in a resounding yell. The grating sound brought Rod running. He knocked once, not waiting for permission to come in before opening the door. “Is everything okay?”
“We’re fine,” she said as she dropped her hand from Ben’s arm.
But not before Rod’s gaze went right there. “Sir?”
Ben shook his head. “You can leave.”
Rod’s face fell at his boss’s abrupt tone. Callie almost felt bad for the poor little sycophant.
“I’m just outside if you need me,” Rod said.
Callie waited until the clerk left again to say anything. “You didn’t have to scare the hell out of the poor kid.”
“Since when do you care about Rod?”
The man made a good point, but the nastiness was way out of proportion for the situation. Callie knew she should drop it and let Ben fester in his male stupidity, but a voice inside her head told her to keep digging.
“What’s really going on here?” she asked, fully expecting another screaming match.
“I just told you.”
They stood a few feet apart. If she reached out she could touch him again, which was exactly why she kept her arms strapped to her sides with invisible tape. “You had to know what would happen with the note.”
“Excuse me if I’m ticked off that my work life has turned into this load of crap.”
She guessed she was the “crap” in that description. The guy could be a little more appreciative that her sole purpose in life at the moment was to keep him alive. Some hours, like now when he spent most of the time snapping at her, she debated taking him out herself.
But she did understand the panic that rolled over you when you lost control of everything around you. She spent her entire life chasing the dream of joining the FBI. She read books, worked on her shooting, and built her endurance. With the tests and training behind her, she hit the streets. She never imagined the most dangerous part of the work would come in the office, at her desk and at the hands of a supervisor with a God complex.
“Is this about Emma?” Callie forced the other woman’s name out over a lump of envy.
“No.”
Ah, hell. Even though her mind played an endless loop of getting Ben naked while she crawled all over him, Callie knew she didn’t actually have any rights to the man. Her debilitating case of lust didn’t have anything to do with his very real relationship with Emma. Time to step back and be professional.
“Look, I’m sorry I came in during your…well, your thing.” She didn’t know what to call that spectacle, so she didn’t try to define it. Talking about it would only put the image of Emma and Ben together back in her head, and Callie had spent all day trying to stamp it out.
“Thing?”
Callie heard a tinge of amusement in his voice. “I don’t know what the correct name is.”
His shook his head. “I said no. That’s not it.”
“I can talk to Emma if that will help.” Callie had no idea how to start that conversation or what to say, but she made the offer anyway. This being the bigger person stuff just sucked.
“I got it, but not necessary.”
He liked using that phrase even when it didn’t make any sense or have an understandable context. “Got what?” she asked.
Ben exhaled as the rigid anger left his body. “Stop talking about Emma.”
Seemed Ben turned a bit touchy when the topic of his girlfriend popped up. Probably a guilt thing. That’s what happened when a guy tried to dip his pen in too many wells.
“I’m trying to ignore your jackassery here and apologize.”
Instead of revving up again, Ben smiled. “My what?”
“I was going to call you a douche and the bag it came in, but I thought you’d have me arrested.”
“And here I thought you didn’t know where to draw the line.” He leaned back against his desk with his feet out in front of him at an angle. The move put his thigh right next to hers. “So tell me why you keep apologizing about Emma.”
Callie only remembered