River Queen Rose. Shirley KennedyЧитать онлайн книгу.
dream of complaining. After all, Emmet wasn’t a bad man, a bit quick-tempered, perhaps, but in all other ways, he’d been kind to her. He was surely a good provider, and when Lucy came along, he got tears in his eyes when he saw his new daughter for the first time. Indeed, he couldn’t have been a better, more loving father. So, of course, she’d be glad to see him again. Not thrilled, maybe, but happy enough, and really, what more could she expect in life than the role Fate had assigned her as a wife and mother?
Or so she kept telling herself.
Sometimes a hunger rose from deep within her for something more in her life. The trouble was, she didn’t know what. At the age of twenty-six, she sometimes got the feeling that life was passing her by and what had she accomplished? Lucy, of course. Watching her little girl grow was an ongoing, joyful miracle, but couldn’t she have something more?
Well, of course not. After all, she was a woman, so what more could she expect? She should count her blessings and forget such foolishness.
* * * *
The Petersons were part of a train of fifty-five wagons, now parked in a circle far down the western slope of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Returning to the campsite, Rose sensed the excitement all around her. California! After months of grueling travel, they’d reached the Golden Land. Fortunes would be made. Life would be good in this sun-drenched state that brimmed with opportunities. She searched for Lucy. Of them all, her five-year-old daughter had fared the best on their wearisome journey. She never complained about the monotonous beans-bacon-and-biscuits diet. After a long day on the trail, when the adults moaned about sore muscles and aching feet, Lucy was running around with other children on the train, bright and happy with endless energy.
Rose spotted her daughter playing at the wagon next to her own. As she drew close, she sensed something different. Something, but what? Somehow her little girl with the bright eyes and long, blond curls didn’t look the same. Oh, no, her hair! This morning, Rose had swept it back from Lucy’s forehead and fastened it into two braids. Now it hung loose, and someone had cut low-hanging bangs so long they nearly touched her brows.
Lucy skipped up to her, blue eyes sparkling. “Mommy, how do you like my hair?”
“Why, I…I…”
“Grandma cut my bangs. She said I’ll look my best when I see Daddy again.”
The nerve! To conceal her rage, which surely must show on her face, Rose bent low, as if to closer inspect her daughter’s new hairstyle. How dare Coralee cut it without even asking! That was a mother’s job and nobody else’s, not even a doting grandmother’s. But too late now. Above all, she mustn’t make Lucy feel bad. With an effort, she forced her lips into a smile and raised up. “You look very pretty, sweetheart. Daddy will think so, too.”
As Lucy ran off, Rose took a deep breath to compose herself. This sort of thing had happened before, and she shouldn’t have been surprised. No use complaining. Emmet always took his parents’ side. She’d long since realized she wasn’t first in his heart, not like a wife was supposed to be. Even when he sent the letter telling them to come, he’d addressed it to Ben and Coralee, not to her. She and Lucy were a mere mention at the bottom of the list. She admired his fierce loyalty to his family, but there were times when her resentment ran deep, especially the times when she pleaded for a home of their own, and he turned a deaf ear.
But she always tried to count her blessings. Thank goodness she got along well with the Petersons. Their trip west, spending five months cramped in two wagons, could have been a nightmare, but it wasn’t. Ben and Coralee were strict but fair. They adored little Lucy, and she adored them. Thirty-year-old Drucilla, her sister-in-law, was the ongoing despair of her parents, but Rose got along with her just fine. Often they rode together, Rose on Star, her chestnut mare, and Drucilla on her beloved buckskin gelding, Arion, whom she’d named after a Greek god. As for Raymond, her strange brother-in-law, what could she say? He certainly wasn’t her favorite, not with his silly jokes and childish behavior, but he had a generous heart and not a mean bone in his body.
When Rose led Lucy back to the wagon, they were met by a beaming Coralee who asked, “Doesn’t she look darling in bangs?”
Rose forced a smile. “Yes, indeed, she looks adorable.” No use complaining. Although Coralee had a heart of gold, she blundered through life with absolutely no conception of how her actions might affect others. At least she adored Lucy, her one and only grandchild. In her own mind, she was only being a good grandmother. The thought would never have occurred to her that she was wrongly invading a mother’s territory. That settled it. Rose felt a new sense of purpose as she made up her mind. Ever since they were married, she’d pleaded with Emmet for her own home away from her in-laws. Now she’d demand it. She would not be a submissive daughter-in-law any longer. As soon as they reached Sacramento, she would inform him she wanted a home of her own. High time he cut the apron strings, and he’d better not say no.
* * * *
The next morning, in a high state of excitement, they packed up for the last day of their journey. As usual, Rose’s father-in-law took complete charge of everything. A tall, broad-shouldered man with a full head of snow-white hair, Ben had such a domineering nature that as always, they scurried around to do his bidding. They started out in their usual fashion, Ben driving the first wagon, Coralee and Drucilla beside him. Raymond drove the second wagon, Rose and Lucy sharing the seat. As the train wound its way down the ever-more-gentle western slope, Rose gave thanks that tomorrow she wouldn’t have to sit beside her brother-in-law all day, listening to his silly conversation and raucous, unnecessary laughter. Raymond might be twenty-eight years old, but he’d yet to find a purpose in life, although to hear him talk, you’d think he was on his way to becoming a millionaire. “Soon’s we get there, I’m heading back up the hill,” he’d just declared. “I’m going to find me some big gold nuggets and get richer than anyone.”
“That’s fine, Raymond.” She’d long since learned the best way to handle her brother-in-law was to humor him. He always had big plans that went nowhere. He and his brother, Emmet, looked alike, both with a large build, but there the resemblance ended. Whereas Raymond was a fool with no ambition, hard-driving Emmet never had an idle day in his life. He took life far too seriously, but maybe the past two years had loosened him up a bit, at least she hoped so.
Besides all that, Lucy loved her father and could hardly wait to see him again.
By noon the train had left the last of the foothills behind and was rolling along the flat surface of the northern San Joaquin Valley. They began to pass farms where fields of vegetables and cotton lay ready for harvest. Finally they reached the outskirts of Sacramento, and the train stopped for the last time. Rose and her family said goodbye to their fellow travelers. From now on, they’d go their separate ways.
Rose’s heart beat faster as they headed through town. Real streets! Real houses with front and back yards! Following Emmet’s careful directions, the two wagons came to the edge of town and traveled two miles farther on a country road. They started looking for a small sign on a fence that said Peterson Farm. “There it is,” Ben called. “Ahead to the right.”
The two wagons turned off the road, down a long driveway that led to a large, two-story farmhouse with a wide front porch that wrapped around three sides. A large barn stood in the yard behind, along with a stable and corral, tank house, and what looked like a large chicken coop. As the two wagons pulled to a stop, Raymond let out a whoop, stood, and waved his hat. “Hey, Emmet! We’re here!”
All smiles, everyone climbed from the wagons. Holding Lucy’s hand, Rose looked toward the front door. Emmet would be coming out any second now, big smile on his face, delighted they’d finally arrived. “We’re going to see Daddy?” Lucy asked.
Rose swept her up in her arms. “Yes, we’re home, sweetheart. We won’t have to live in a wagon anymore.”
They waited. The front door remained closed. “Do you suppose he’s not home?” Ben asked. He started up the porch steps. “Maybe he’s sleeping.”
Coralee followed him. “Emmet would never sleep in the middle