Bare Devotion. Geri KrotowЧитать онлайн книгу.
if I hadn’t had your wedding—I mean, you know—to focus on and escape to, who knows when I would have stopped going after Will and that pathetic excuse for an assistant I had?”
“You were wronged.”
Poppy shook her head. “That’s my point. Deidre was wronged, too, even if it was a long time ago. And she has more than Henry as an ex, right? She’s got a lot of bitter to spew. Henry and you are her most convenient target right now.”
“It’s hard to reconcile the sweet Southern belle I met that day and just saw at the house with the woman who made his life a living hell. And I don’t think she’s actually crazy, just incredibly self-absorbed and used to getting her way.”
Poppy nodded. “Exactly. That describes me a few months ago, too.” Poppy stirred the dusting of cocoa into her coffee, making it look more like café au lait. “Henry’s one tough dude, if he put up with all of that in college and even Brandon never knew about it.”
“He and Brandon were estranged back then, remember? I know it looks to you like they’re the best of brothers, friends, but it’s only been since the we—since the rehearsal dinner. What, three, four weeks?”
“Almost four.” Poppy’s smile was back. The daze of new love.
“Feels like a lifetime ago.” Sonja sipped her seltzer water. It was all she could manage this afternoon.
“And you still haven’t told him you’re having his baby.” Poppy’s face was open, nonjudgmental.
“No. There hasn’t been a right time. And now with the house flooding, the fallout being more than I imagined it would be, it’s harder than ever to nail down the right time to talk to him. I tried this morning, like I said, but it was a no-go.” She sighed. “It’s making me wonder if I shouldn’t pick up and go.” Not that her bank account could support it.
“You’re kidding, right? You already took off from your wedding and Henry. How did that help anything, really? You have to tell him, Sonja. Henry’s not a monster. No matter how much you try to make him out to be one.”
“I’m not trying to make him anything. It’s all on me, I know that.”
“Your trust issues.” Sometimes Poppy’s frankness wasn’t refreshing. It was sobering, almost painfully so.
“Yes. My trust issues.” Sonja tore her cocktail napkin into tiny bits as she spoke. “What was I thinking, marrying that man, any man? You’ve known me the longest, Poppy. I was happy living with him. Why the hell did I agree to tie the knot?”
“There’s something else you’re not telling me. Does it have to do with his parents?” Par for the course, Poppy wasn’t going to let her veer off course again.
“No. Yes. Yes, they don’t help matters. But I can’t blame their racist view of the world on my decision to leave Henry.” As she mouthed the words, her stomach curdled but not from morning sickness. From regret, sorrow, the grief she’d yet to process through.
“I really thought you two had worked through all that. But if you haven’t told him about how awful they’ve been to you, Henry wouldn’t see anything to be concerned about.”
The Boudreauxs had left New Orleans proper after Katrina and made the family firm headquarters in Baton Rouge. Henry’s father had opened a satellite office in New Orleans that he assigned to Henry right after Henry passed the bar. It enabled the legacy of the law firm to continue, and to in fact expand their client base. But Henry’s father didn’t have to sully his hands with working through a post-Katrina New Orleans, or the racism it unveiled in all its depravity to the world.
“It’s more complicated than that. It’s about his entire future, the firm’s future. And let’s face it, if we were meant to be I would have been able to tell him about it all right away. Who did I think I was, protecting him? His mother?”
“You still care about him.” Poppy’s soft words sent her heart hammering.
“Of course I do. I always will care about his welfare. But we’re not ever going to be a couple. We’re through.” She blinked furiously, trying to keep the tears from falling. Oh boy, she did have a lot of grief to still work through.
“Even with the baby surprise?”
“Don’t throw that at me. We both know I don’t need a man to be a good parent.”
“I’m not saying that. You’ll be the absolute best mother. Which is why I know you’ll want the baby’s father involved. Especially when the father is Henry. Henry, Poppy. Not some dude you hooked up with in a one-night stand, or a guy who’d been abusing you that you had to leave. Henry.” Poppy’s steady gaze at once nailed Sonja to the spot, making her see how foolish her actions were, while also conveying the depth of respect Poppy had for her ex.
“You lost your objectivity when you fell for Brandon.”
“Maybe. A little. But do you know what’s really happening with me, Sonja? I’ve realized that in order to make the most of my life, I had to shed everything I knew before. Not because I was a bitch in my previous life, which we both know I was.” They shared a laugh, which Sonja treasured. Even in the midst of her personal crisis, Poppy still made her laugh with little effort.
“What did you shed, besides your career in New York?” Sonja was loath to bring up what she knew had hurt Poppy deeply. Not only did her fiancé cheat on her, but because of Poppy’s over-the-top temper tantrum at The Plaza Hotel, the entire social media world had been privy to her unprofessional behavior. It had cost Poppy the contract of her dreams, and the promise of financial freedom, when a major chain department store canceled its design contract with her last minute.
“I let go of the overly heavy expectations I put on myself. I expected to keep going in the same business forever. Even though I knew I wanted to reach out to the world in a more local community way, I had no idea how to implement it or make it happen. By falling on my butt, I landed here in New Orleans at the perfect time. The boutique downtown that I work in was looking for extra help, and it gave me an office and apartment where I had space to think and figure out my next steps.” Poppy had given Sonja the apartment key as soon as she committed to move in with Brandon. Sonja was grateful for the place to call home since the river house was gutted.
“I have to figure out my next steps now, I suppose. Not just with me, or my job, but the baby. How am I going to manage the hours I work and raise a kid? It’s one thing to say I can do it, hell, we have a lot of friends doing it. But putting it in motion...”
“Which is why you need to tell Henry. You’re not in this solo, even if you don’t want to marry him.”
Poppy had her there. But with sharing parenting came the reality of having to see Henry regularly, as he helped raise his child, which he would. Henry did nothing in half-measures. She snorted, thinking about how he’d insisted on a full-scale society wedding ceremony. She’d gotten her way with the more casual entertaining during the days leading up to the wedding, but Henry would accept nothing less than being married in front of the entire world in the cathedral downtown.
“What’s so funny?”
“I’m thinking about how far from myself I went to attempt a marriage with Henry.” Poppy stayed silent, so she went on. “I never wanted all the fancy stuff. I’m getting rid of my car, going for something more economical, environmental. Why didn’t I do that right away?”
“There’s no sin in enjoying nice things. You’d worked and studied so hard for so long. Stop beating yourself up.” Poppy had been her strongest supporter when she’d decided to apply to law school their senior year in college.
“If I don’t look at myself, then I have to look at Henry, and I don’t know why he didn’t trust me enough to tell me the full story on Deidre.”
“Ask him.”
“That’s my point. I shouldn’t have to ask him.”