Ascension. A.S. FenichelЧитать онлайн книгу.
in ways, I cannot possibly explain. Frankly, you would never believe me. While my affection for you has never changed, I am no longer a proper wife for you. I could not be happy in the kind of marriage you deserve.” It was the truth. Though certainly not the entire story of the last four years of her life, but everything she said was completely honest.
“Bella.” He kissed her palm.
Juices pooled between her legs. She yearned for his lips to repeat their attentions of the other night. The memory of his head between her legs encompassed her, and the heat of her blush suffused her face and neck.
His voice was a source of warmth in the cool night. “I know you are telling the truth as you see it, my love, but I think you underestimate me. How can you know what kind of wife I require?”
She took her hand away. “You want what every man wants, Gabriel. You want a simple woman who will take care of your houses and bear your children. I cannot be that woman. I would go mad sewing useless pieces of cloth and seeing to the servants.”
He put his head in his hands. “I say again that you underestimate me, Bella.”
She was about to tell him that he was wrong, but he put his hand up.
“I have also changed in the last four years. War has altered my view of the world. I do not know exactly what has happened here while I was away, and it is unfortunate that you cannot trust me enough to share the information. It is my belief that we should make an effort to accept that we have both been altered by circumstances and perhaps get to know each other again.”
“I do not think that’s a good idea.”
“Hear me out. If we end our betrothal then the gossip will be terrible, and you shall have to bear the brunt of it. Men of wealth are much more easily forgiven in our circles as you well know.”
“That is so unfair,” she lamented.
“Yes, well, fair or not, it is the society in which we live. My plan saves you the embarrassment of a broken betrothal at least for the time being. If after you have spent some time with me, you still feel our marriage would be untenable, we can separate, and I shall harbor no ill will.”
He was correct. There would be a terrible scandal if she broke off their engagement. And because he was only back from war a few short weeks, the gossips would relish dragging her through the dirt. Scandal would bring attention to her and that wouldn’t be good. She couldn’t have the entire ton focused on her every move. “I will agree under one condition.”
“What is that?”
She gulped in a deep breath of air. Her nerves bubbled in her gut far worse than in the demons cell. Her heart raced and her throat tightened. “If at any time, you find that the changes in me are too unbearable, you also have the ability to step away without any undue rancor. This shall be an equal test, Gabriel.”
He smiled wide and his joy was contagious. Telling herself that this would only delay the inevitable did not lessen the happiness pushing its way into her heart.
“We have an agreement then?” She put her hand out as a man might do.
“We have a deal.” He took her offered hand and shook it before pulling her closer and pressing his lips to hers.
His mouth sent a wave of shudders down her body. Her head emptied of all the reasons why she could no longer love Gabriel. Her focus diverted to the delights of his lips. His tongue pressed at the seam between her lips and the cool wetness made her gasp.
Gabriel plunged his tongue into her mouth. She touched her tongue to his, and he moaned in response. She clutched at his jacket pulling him closer even though her brain screamed to push him away.
He scooped her onto his lap, his rigid member pressing curiously against her bottom. She wiggled, settling his erection at the top of her thigh. Only their clothing separated her from the inevitable loss of her virginity. She had no fear. Desire curled in her belly and she shook with need. She had a fleeting worry that he would feel the weapons she concealed under the skirt, but he gave no indication of anything unexpected.
“I want you, Bella.” His mouth still touched hers and his words sent a vibration to her core.
Belinda’s body screamed for her to let him take her right there in the garden. She might be a virgin, but she was not innocent. She had seen things most people couldn’t imagine. She had killed demons, nearly died, fought for her life and saved the lives of her friends. What was the point of holding on to the idea of innocence when every fiber inside her demanded she yield?
She ground her bottom against his rod.
Gabriel groaned and his lips slid to her neck where he made a trail of light kisses all the way up to her ear. His breath circled that sensitive orifice, and she gasped again. Her body shuddered and hummed while tiny jolts traveled down and created a yearning between her thighs.
“I need…” She couldn’t finish the sentence.
His teeth tugged her earlobe. “Yes, what do you need, my love?”
Her mind couldn’t find the words to describe the hunger she experienced as he touched and licked his way back down her neck to the swell of her breast above her gown. His fingers dipped below the neckline, and her breast tumbled from the fabric and into his waiting palm. More sensations filled her, until was close to screaming just to find some release.
His mouth covered her nipple and she threw her head back and clutched his head to her body. The feel of his hand sliding down her skirts brought her back to reality. What would Gabriel think if he found trousers under her gown or the knives she concealed under those skirts? She didn’t want to know the answer. Not tonight.
“Stop.” She didn’t recognize her own voice gasping for air and filled with passion.
Gabriel’s head immediately came up and he stared at her.
“I must go in the house.”
Those stark eyes regarded her for a long moment. “You are probably right.” He gently removed her from his lap and placed her back on the bench next to him.
The bulge in his breeches was unmistakable.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
He laughed and took her hand. Before she knew what he was about, he placed it on his hard cock. “This will wait, Bella, but I hope you will not make me wait forever.”
She should have been shocked. She should have pulled her hand away and run for the back door of the townhouse. A proper lady would need salts to recover from such an experience.
Belinda was no proper lady. She found herself curious about him. She lightly stroked the shaft.
“Bella, do you know what you do to me?”
“I know that you like this, Gabriel. I know that I liked what you did to me the other night.” She pulled her hand away and kissed his rough cheek. “I also know that we are a world apart.” Sorrow tightened in her chest and spilled out into her last words.
He smiled and stood.
She also rose from the bench and straightened the top of her dress.
“Time may have created some distance between us, Bella, but we will come together. I will have my answers and so shall you. I am not the same boy who left you to fight four years ago, yet you are so self-absorbed you might not have noticed the change.”
She opened her mouth to deny his claim, but then closed it again. She really couldn’t argue with what he said. She’d asked him nothing about his experience in France. Never once had it occurred to her that he might have changed as well. She would give the matter some thought. She inclined her head. “Will you call tomorrow then?”
With a nod, he took her hand and kissed the palm. His tongue slipped out and traced a circle there. Belinda gasped and tugged her hand away.
“Good-night, Bella.”
She