Bitter Sweet Love. Jennifer L. ArmentroutЧитать онлайн книгу.
way I kissed you?” I spun around and had to take a step back. He was right there. “I didn’t kiss you, you jerk. You kissed me.”
“Technicalities,” he murmured, and in a flash of a heartbeat, he was so close we were breathing the same air again. “You kissed me back.”
Although that might be true, I’d be damned before I admitted it. “I was too shocked to think clearly. Trust me, it won’t be happening again.”
“Is that so?”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Yes.”
He dipped his head so we were eye level. “I’m going to have to disagree, Jas. That was only our first kiss—and it wasn’t even a real kiss.”
If that wasn’t a real kiss, what the hell kind of kiss did he consider real then? I pivoted on my heel, stalking off down the path.
Dez followed silently for a few seconds. “This wasn’t how I expected you to greet me.”
My mouth dropped open as I stopped in front of a stone bench. I turned around slowly. “Are you serious?”
He stared at me in a way that made me wonder if he’d lost brain cells during his absence. Dez wasn’t stupid. He was very much the opposite, so how could my reaction to him be a surprise?
Staring at him, it was hard to reconcile the young man I’d once known with the male standing before me. Tears burned the back of my eyes, and when I spoke, my voice was hoarse. “I had no idea what happened to you.”
He closed his eyes, tensing. “Jasmine—”
“For three years, I didn’t know if you were alive or dead!” A knot rose in my throat. “No phone calls. Not even an email or a text. Nothing. How could―” My voice cracked and I turned my head, inhaling deeply. “I didn’t know what to think.”
He cupped my cheek, his thumb smoothing down my face, chasing something suspiciously wet. “Please don’t cry.”
“I’m not crying.” Stepping sideways, I hastily wiped at my cheeks. “It must be sprinkling. I think the weather was calling for showers.”
Fondness seeped into his striking face, and I didn’t want to see it. “You’re still a terrible liar.”
“Shut up,” I muttered, clearing my throat. “And you have nothing to say for yourself?”
His brows pinched. “I’m sorry.”
I gaped. “That’s it?”
“You wouldn’t understand, Jas.”
I crossed my arms. “Oh, I don’t know, I might be able to grasp an explanation if you speak slowly and use small words.”
Dez’s eyes flared bright for an instant and then dulled. “I know you’re not stupid.”
“Doesn’t seem that way.”
“Look, I’m not entirely proud of why I left and it’s not something I really want to get into right now.” He thrust his hands through his hair, causing strands to stick straight up between his fingers. “Can we put that to the side, at least for the moment?”
I started to tell him no, but a look of vulnerability had crept into his eyes and as much as I wanted to hold him down and make him tell me everything, I couldn’t hurt him. He’d deserve it if I did, but the memory of him crying on my shoulder, holding on to me like I was the only anchor in his world, was too fresh.
“I’ve missed you, Jas. You have no idea,” he continued, reaching toward me again but stopping short of touching me. “I thought about you every damn day. All I wanted was to get back to you and the clan. But mostly you. Always you.”
Shaking my head, I held my arms more tightly around myself, as if I could keep my heart from getting outside my chest and doing something stupid. “I don’t think you understand. I can’t forget these three years. I can’t forget that you left because my father announced he wanted a match between us. Just because you decide you want me now after doing God knows what, you think I’d be with you? I’m not desperate.”
“Wait.” He barked out a laugh. “You think I left because of that? Are you insane?”
I shot him a droll look. “You’re really not helping your case.”
“That is not why I left, Jasmine. You can believe me.” He stalked forward, and I found I couldn’t move. “I have never lied to you.”
“No,” I whispered. “You just left.”
“It didn’t have anything to do with what your father said. I promise you.” Just the tips of his fingers touched my cheeks, but it was still a shock to the system. “Let me prove it.”
Our gazes locked, and I could feel my heartbeat in my veins and the warmth of his body, even though he barely touched me. Dez lowered his head, and the breath caught in my throat. Was he going to kiss me again? I couldn’t let him, but I also couldn’t deny the bittersweet swelling of yearning, of wanting something that could easily turn back around and strike where it hurt most.
He didn’t kiss me, though. “I want you, and I know you feel the same way. Neither of us could’ve changed that much. I believe in that. And I want you.”
So many times over the past three years, and even before then, when I was old enough to recognize how I felt around Dez, I had dreamed of this moment. But if what he said was true, then why had he left me? Why didn’t he have anything to say except I’m sorry? Accepting the apology was the easy way. Truth be told, it was what my heart wanted, but it wasn’t the only thing I wanted.
I closed my eyes. “I don’t know.”
“Seven days.” His nose brushed my cheek and his warm breath blew over my ear, causing me to shiver. “Give me these seven days, Jas. Please.”
He hadn’t said why he left and he hadn’t professed undying love for me, but an idea sprang to mind, and once it took root, it flourished. Excitement rose like a budding flower. “Only on one condition, and still, I make no promises.”
Dez chuckled in a way that was infuriating and yet wholly sexy. I blinked my eyes open. Had he sounded like that before? He pressed his palm to my cheek. “What is the condition?”
I took a deep breath, concentrating on my words and not on how his hand felt. “There are things I want to do.”
Interest flared, deepening the hue of his eyes. “What things?”
“Not what you’re thinking,” I said dryly, although the idea of those things was interesting. “I’ve never been anywhere and I want to go places. I want to see things.”
His eyes narrowed, but my muscles tightened when his hand slid to my neck, threatening to wreak havoc on what I was trying to accomplish. “Where do you want to go?”
“New York City. Washington, DC. Maybe even Philly,” I said in a rush. “I want to walk through a mall without a horde of males guarding me. I want to learn how to drive a car and not have someone give up on me when I grind the transmission.” Driving wasn’t necessary. Obviously. We had wings. We could fly, but driving...driving was so divinely human. “I want to go skinny-dipping.” At that, he looked way too engrossed, so I hurried on. “And I want... I want to hunt a demon.”
“Jasmine, that’s unacceptable. Demons aren’t—”
“Those are my conditions.” I squared my shoulders. A little wisp of guilt poked at me. I was using him to get what I wanted, and that wasn’t right, but when would I have this chance again? As a female Warden, there was so little that I could do. “Take them or leave them.”
He held my stare for so long that I was sure he was going to say no. Then I’d probably choke-slam him―I knew how to do that because he had taught me. “And I have seven days to help you do