Soldier. Julie KagawaЧитать онлайн книгу.
as I gazed up at him. “Don’t let this life break you. You’re young. You have a very, very long existence ahead. No, I don’t want you sneaking out or throwing crazy parties in the middle of the night, but it can’t be war and fighting every second of every day. You’ll burn out before you hit Juvenile. Or you’ll get so bitter and angry, you might do something really crazy.” The corner of his mouth twitched into a wry grin, then he sobered once more. I didn’t smile back, and he eased closer—close enough for me to smell his leather jacket, to feel the subtle heat that pulsed beneath his skin.
“I don’t want you to hate being here, Firebrand,” he went on. “I don’t want you to regret going rogue. I know I’ve been distracted, but I want you to know you can come to me for anything. Don’t think you have to go through this alone. Trust me, I have been through everything you can imagine.” He snorted. “Just ask Wes. He can tell you horror stories.”
My heart beat faster. Having him this near made my back itch and my skin feel tight from wanting to Shift so bad. Riley hesitated, as if just realizing how close we were, but he didn’t move away. I looked up at him and saw Cobalt’s intense, golden gaze peering down at me.
For a moment, we teetered on the edge, both dragons close to the surface, waiting for the other to make a move. But then Riley’s gaze darkened and he stepped away, breaking eye contact.
“You should get some sleep,” he said, as my dragon growled with frustration and disappointment. “It’s been a long day, and we’ll want an early start tomorrow. I’ll come wake you when we’re ready to go.”
“Riley!”
A sharp rap made us jump. Riley drew back, looking almost relieved, and strode quickly to the door. Pulling it open, he glared out at Wes. “Did you find him?”
“Not quite, mate.” Wes spared me a quick glance and narrowed his eyes, before turning to Riley again. “But you’ll want to see this. Griffin contacted us. I just got a message from the slimy bastard.”
“Where is he?”
“No clue.” Wes shrugged. “But he wants to meet us soon, face-to-face. Said he wants to make a deal. That he has information he’s willing to trade...for protection.”
Riley scowled. “Protection? What makes him think that I would...” He trailed off, shaking his head. “Dammit,” he breathed. “Talon. Talon is after him, too. He wouldn’t have contacted us if he wasn’t freaking out.”
“Yeah.” Wes nodded, a grim smile crossing his narrow face. “That’s what I’d guess. And under normal circumstances I would say to hell with the two-faced cockroach—he can reap what he’s sowed. Let a Viper chase him around for a change of pace. But...”
“But we need whatever information he might have,” Riley growled. “And we can’t let Talon learn what he knows.” He raked a hand through his hair and glared at Wes. “What does Griffin want us to do?”
“Says he’ll contact us with a meeting place if we agree to his terms,” Wes replied, making a sour face. “Terms being that we won’t kick his ass when we find him, and that we provide him with a safe place to hide for as long as he needs it.”
Riley growled again, clenching a fist. “Fine,” he said through gritted teeth. “I can’t risk losing any more safe houses, and I can’t let Talon get their claws on Griffin. He knows too much about us.” He gave Wes a brisk nod. “Contact Griffin. Let him know we agree to his terms. Tell him to try not to get himself killed by a Viper before we can reach him.”
Wes nodded and ducked out of the room, and Riley looked back at me. The moment was gone; Cobalt had disappeared, and it was just Riley again.
“Sorry, Firebrand,” he said, taking a step toward the door. “I should probably be there when Griffin contacts us again. Will you be all right?”
I nodded. “I’ll be here,” I said simply, and he went, striding into the hall after Wes and closing the door behind him.
For a moment, I stared after him, a heavy weight settling over me. I knew, logically, that Riley was distracted. Finding Griffin and keeping his underground safe was foremost on his mind, as it should be. Rationally, I accepted that.
But at the same time, I wondered if Riley’s feelings toward me had changed. There had been no hints or clues of what he wanted from me, if he even wanted me anymore. Now that I thought about it, whenever we were alone—either in the car or in the hotel room—he was careful to keep his distance. To not get too close. Tonight was a good example. There had been something between us—we’d both felt it...but he had backed off. Had he forgotten his promise of a few short weeks ago? Or had I been a fleeting distraction that he’d gotten over?
I hopped up, threw the lock and returned to the bed. The dragon still writhed and squirmed inside, making it hard to relax. Sleep would probably be impossible tonight, as it had been most nights since we left Vegas. I was exhausted, but my brain just wouldn’t shut off. When I did sleep, the dreams were waiting. Being chased through tight quarters by humans with guns, skinned dragon hides hanging on the walls and Lilith appearing every so often to taunt me. Or urging me to turn and slaughter everything in sight. I’d wake up covered in sweat, my blood roaring in my ears, while the echoes of screams and gunfire faded into the darkness.
But those dreams weren’t the worst. The worst dreams were the ones when, cornered and trapped, I’d spin around to finally face my pursuers...and it was Dante who appeared from the shadows, green eyes hard as he came into the light. Or sometimes it wasn’t Dante, but a human with short blond hair and metallic-gray eyes, staring me down over the muzzle of a gun. Once or twice, it was a girl, delicate and pale, her dark curls tumbling down her shoulders as she stepped forward. Sometimes we spoke, though I could never recall the conversations. Sometimes they ended with an apology, sometimes with a gunshot that jerked me awake and sent my heart racing. But more than a few times, I would find myself in dragon form, wondering what had happened, and there would be a charred, blackened body sprawled on the cement. I wouldn’t recognize it at first, didn’t know what I was looking at, until its eyes opened—black or green or metallic-gray—and it would whisper a single word.
Why?
Those were the dreams where I’d wake gasping, my eyes blurry and hot. Those were the images that kept me from going back to sleep, where I’d turn on the television and all the lights and try to forget everything until morning.
Riley didn’t know about the nightmares. He was too busy with the hunt and keeping his network safe. Sometimes, I thought Wes suspected something, the way he looked at me when I joined them in the mornings, his taciturn face almost worried. But I couldn’t break down. It was just the three of us, now: me, Riley and Wes. Riley needed an equal partner, someone he could count on, not some kid he had to worry about. I had to focus on what was important. I couldn’t let any more of us die.
My stomach throbbed, a constant, low-grade ache from the stress of not Shifting. I could still feel Riley’s touch, the heat in his gaze when our eyes met. My dragon side wanted him; it was obvious now that I couldn’t ignore those instincts. But, at the same time, I still thought of him constantly. Where was he? What was he doing right now? The more I tried to forget, the more he returned to haunt me, making me realize that I’d made a mistake.
I missed the soldier.
Frowning, I straightened on the pillows. You can’t think like that, Ember, I scolded myself. He’s gone, and it’s better that way. He’s human. You’re a dragon. It would have never worked. Let him go.
My throat felt tight, and I breathed deep, banishing the last of the memories, at least for now. Griffin would contact us soon, and Riley would probably want to move out as soon as he did. Not much time for sleep, but I wasn’t going to get a lot, anyway.
Grabbing the remote, I turned up the volume of the television and leaned back against the headboard. Who needed sleep when you could watch car chases and random explosions all night? Settling into the pillow nest, I let my eyes unfocus and my mind go blank, as revving engines and Hollywood