Holding Strong. Lori FosterЧитать онлайн книгу.
had to say it. “When I had to practically beg you?”
His eyes narrowed in thought. “You should have told me, you know.”
“I didn’t realize—” she started to say.
“Shh.” He kissed her forehead, softening his rebuke. “Don’t lie to me, Cherry. Ever.”
How could he so easily make her feel guilty? She bit her lip. “Well...”
“There’s no way you couldn’t have known you were getting sick.”
True enough—to a point. “I didn’t feel well, but—” She coughed some more, then had to bite back a groan at the radiating discomfort.
Denver supported her, rubbing her back until she’d quieted again.
Holding on to him, she drew a careful breath. “I didn’t know I’d be this bad,” she wheezed. “Honest. I wouldn’t have risked getting you sick.”
“I’m not worried about that.” He helped her resettle in the bed. “But why didn’t you tell me?”
She started to again bite her lip, but when his gaze focused on her mouth, she stopped herself. In a hoarse whisper, she said, “It’s embarrassing.”
As if her embarrassment didn’t factor into things, he shook his head. “I need you to always be honest with me, Cherry, no matter what.”
It irked her, this persistence that she might not be truthful. “I’m not a liar.”
“No. But there are layers of honesty.” Firm, he tilted his head to stare into her eyes. “I have to have one hundred percent.”
“Fine.” Though she felt like death warmed over, she lifted her chin. “I was afraid if I told you, you’d use it as an excuse to walk away.”
His piercing gaze softened at her admission. “Am I walking away?”
“No.” And it confused her so much. “But I don’t know why not.”
He took her hand. “You think I’d walk out on you when you’re so ill?”
She didn’t want his pity. “If that’s the only reason you’re staying—”
“It’s not.”
“Oh.” With her eyes gritty and her head throbbing, she could barely stay upright. She persisted anyway, drawing in a slow breath to keep from coughing. “Long as we’re being honest, why did you ignore me?”
For the longest time he stared down at their clasped hands and she felt the tumult of his thoughts, his resistance and even a sort of muted resentment.
She got nervous, dreading what he might say. It had been tough to take his unspoken rejections on good days. Being wretchedly sick, this was not a good day. But if she cried in front of him, she’d just die.
Finally he lifted his head. The piercing focus of his attention unnerved her. “Mostly I avoided you because I wanted you too fucking much.”
Wow. Never had she expected that. How did that even make sense?
“The way you smell,” he murmured, dipping his nose to her temple and inhaling. “The way you look. How you laugh and the bounce of your hair, your tits, that amazing ass...”
She gulped. His tone was gritty, almost raw, and she couldn’t think of a reply except to say, “Oh,” again.
“Every time you’d get near me, hell, even in the same room, I could smell you.”
“That’s...unsettling.”
“You smell good, girl. So fucking good.” Keeping her pinned in his gaze, uncaring about her mute surprise, he continued. “You know you’re stacked. There’s no way you could not know. But I’ve known plenty of built women.”
She scowled, making her head protest with ramped up pain.
“But they aren’t you. It’s the combo, I think. Your bod, your attitude—which drove me nuts, by the way.”
In a croak, she asked, “My attitude?”
“Party girl,” he accused. “Tease.”
Despite being ill, her shoulders stiffened. “I am not—”
“You tease every guy who gets near you.”
Her gasp choked her, making it impossible to protest. She did not tease. How dare he—
“You do,” he stated, “even if you don’t mean to.” Working his jaw, his gaze went over her body, his hands following suit until he clasped her hips. “You have no idea how it affected me.”
If it got him to this point—in bed with her—then she’d accept the blame.
“I hate to admit it, but that’s probably why I went overboard.” His voice dropped. “Swear to God, girl, if you weren’t sick I’d be inside you right now.”
Her eyes widened on a startled breath, and of course that set off a spate of coughing again.
Denver pulled her against his hard chest, cradling her gently. “Easy now.” She’d only barely gotten her air back when he added, “I’m betting I’ve wanted this longer than you have. So damn long, I was going nuts. Then to finally give in—”
Give in? What did that even mean?
“That’s not an excuse for pushing you so hard, but fact is, you do it for me. Around you, I stay so primed it’s almost agonizing.”
Ducking her face against him, Cherry said, “That’s exactly how I felt, too. As to you pushing me...” She shivered, remembering. “I liked it.”
She felt his smile when he kissed her temple. “I know you did. But you’ll like it more when you’re feeling like yourself.” Almost as an afterthought, he added, “There’s still a lot I want to do to you.”
Oh Lord. Not with her, but to her? How was she supposed to breathe normally when he said things like that?
For Denver, it sounded like everything was sexual. It thrilled her to finally make some headway—but what she felt was so much more.
He rubbed his hand down her back toward her bottom—but stopped short. “Soon as you’re well, we’ll try this all again.” His lips teased her ear, and he whispered, “When you can take it, I’ll make you beg.”
Wow. As unnerving as that sounded, she could hardly wait.
His fist under her chin tipped up her burning face. “Far as I’m concerned, there’s no end date in sight.” He searched her eyes, then focused on her mouth. “You okay with that?”
She’d been hung up on Denver Lewis from the day she’d laid eyes on him and every day since she’d fallen harder. If he asked her to marry him right now, she’d probably say yes.
Instead, he wanted unlimited sex, and the answer was still a resounding, “Yes.”
“Good.” He tucked her hair back, then leaned away to see her body. “You’re shivering again.”
With nervousness, excitement, and yes, fever. The way he’d cooled her down had helped, but not for long.
He pulled off his shirt—a treat no matter how sick she might be—and kicked off his shoes, then crawled into bed beside her and hugged her up to his warm chest. “Better?”
Heavenly. “Yes.”
“Doze off if you want.” Stretching out his long legs and then reaching for the remote, he got comfortable with the TV on low. “I’ll wake you when Armie gets back.”
Tired as she was, she didn’t think she’d be able to sleep. Not with her head feeling like it might explode off her body and her throat getting scratchier by the second.