A Man's Promise. Brenda JacksonЧитать онлайн книгу.
concert, you had Security escort me out. Again, you didn’t want to hear what I had to say.”
Caden cursed himself, shamed by the memory. Yes, after he had received those photographs and had believed the worst, he had begun having affairs, hoping she would hear about them. He had wanted to hurt her the way she’d hurt him. Seeing her in the audience at one of his concerts had been a huge distraction and he’d acted like a fool. He’d had no idea she had come to tell him about the baby.
He looked over at her and saw her lips trembling, saw the anger in her eyes in a way he’d never seen before. He had wronged her in so many ways. Yet, she had come to pay her last respects to his grandfather by attending the memorial service. And she could have been spiteful during the board meeting, voting against him and his brothers to prevent them from retaining control of Granger Aeronautics.
When she had discovered the truth of what her parents had done, she had sought him out again, and he had said words to her that no man should ever say to the woman he loved.
Looking at her now, he knew those same words applied to himself. She couldn’t stand the sight of him.
Caden knew he had to plead his case and hoped she would give him another chance. He took a step toward her and felt agony all the way to his feet when she took a step back, away from him. “You have every right to despise me, Shiloh,” he said in a soft tone. “And I deserve all the hatred you might be feeling toward me right now. I let you down. I did the one thing I’d always promised not to do, and that was to let your father come between us again. And you’re right. You believed in me more than I believed in you.”
He paused a moment and then said, “There has been a lot of hurt and anger on both sides. I suggest we pick up the pieces and move on. Together. And I think—”
“Right now, I don’t care what you think, Caden,” she said, interrupting him. “I hurt too much to care. The only thing I want you to do is leave me alone. I want to move on...without you.”
He stared at her for a moment, not believing she could really feel that way, and he knew now was not the time to push. But he definitely needed her to understand something. “I love you, Shiloh. I know you doubt that right now, and I understand. But if there’s one thing you should know about me, it’s that I’m a survivor. I survived the death of my mother and the injustice done to my father. Right now, the only thing that threatens my survival is you, because I need you...and I always have. And I intend with every breath in my body to make you believe in me again. I will regain your trust.”
He paused to get himself together. At that moment, he was filled with all kinds of emotion, and at the top of the list was the fear that he might have lost her for good. What he’d just told her was true. He was a survivor, but only because he’d always known she was there and always would be.
“I’m making you a promise, Shiloh—a man’s promise to the woman he loves. I promise that I will do what it takes to win you back. I promise to regain your love and trust.”
Shiloh shook her head sadly as tears filled her eyes. “I’m not sure that’s possible, Caden. So much has happened, so many hurtful things have been said. Things I’m not sure I can forgive you for saying. Like I told you, I just want to move on. If you love me as much as you claim you do, you’d let me do that.”
Caden drew in a deep breath. “And because I love you as much as I do, I can’t do that.”
She stared at him for a moment and then, without saying another word, she turned and quickly headed toward the elevator.
* * *
Shiloh barely made it to her office, closing the door behind her. Leaning against it, she tried to stop the tears that flowed from her eyes but could not. How could a man say he loved her but trust her so little? He had taken one look at those pictures and accepted them at face value, assuming she had betrayed him. Knowing that was something she couldn’t get beyond.
Her cell phone began ringing and she recognized the ringtone immediately. It belonged to Sedrick.
Wiping the tears from her eyes, she tried to speak in a normal voice. “Hello, Sedrick.”
“Did Caden Granger contact you?”
She frowned. “You knew he would try?”
There was a pause on the other end before Sedrick answered. “Yes, he called me here at the hospital and asked me how to find you.”
“And you told him?” she accused.
“He would have hunted you down eventually. He was desperate to talk to you. I would have called sooner to warn you but I had an emergency with one of my patients.”
“Who told him what had happened? How did he find out?”
“Mom. He said she came to see him. She assumed he already knew. Figured you told him that night.”
“I would have had he wanted to listen to me,” she said angrily. Pain settled around her heart every time she thought of that night. “Why would Mom go see him anyway?”
“I guess she was reaching out to him to help patch up things between the two of you. Shiloh, she regrets what she did, and one day, you’re going to have to meet with her and talk about it. Hear her out. Like I said, you and I both know the old man had her under his thumb.”
There was a moment of silence, and then Sedrick asked, “Well, did he contact you?”
“He came here to tell me how sorry he was for what he did and said.”
“And did you and Caden kiss and make up?”
Was she hearing hope in her brother’s voice? “Is that what you want?”
“It’s not what I want, Shiloh. It’s what you want. Whatever will make you happy.”
She thought about her brother’s question. She’d always thought being with Caden would make her happy. It seemed she had loved him forever. She had never imagined the day would come when the thought of him would fill her heart with so much pain. And, for some reason, she was having a problem getting beyond it. Those two years when they’d become lovers had been the best she’d ever had. But now all she felt was heartache and anger.
She was doing the very thing she’d said she would never do, and that was cry over Caden Granger. But she refused to do so again. “What will make me happy is what I plan to do, and that is to move on. I can’t imagine having Caden back in my life. Too much has happened. Too much has been said. I need to get beyond that, Sedrick. For years, my life had been wrapped around Caden’s, even those years when Father forbade me to have contact with him.”
She paused a moment and then said, “Caden told me he loves me.”
“Do you believe him?”
“No. What man can love a woman and treat her the way he treated me?”
“He thought you had betrayed him, Shiloh.”
She was irritated by his words. “Why are you defending him?”
“I don’t think I’m doing that. I just want you to make sure you know what you’re doing because, personally, I don’t see Caden giving up on you. I heard it in his voice today.”
She couldn’t help but remember the promise he’d made to her. A man’s promise. If his promise was meant to give her hope, it had missed the mark because, at that moment, all she felt was regret. “It doesn’t matter what he does. I intend to live my life without Caden in it.”
“Shiloh, I know how much Caden means to you. To be fair to my colleague Wallace, I don’t think you should get involved with him until you’re sure that you are over Caden.”
“I am over him, Sedrick. Caden coming here today means nothing to me. I don’t know how much plainer I can be.”
Sedrick didn’t say anything for a minute and then asked, “So everything is still on for this weekend?”
She