Bound By His Vow: His Final Bargain / The Rings That Bind / Marriage Made of Secrets. Майя БлейкЧитать онлайн книгу.
herself from looking at his mouth. It was flat-lined and bitter now, but she remembered all too well how soft and sensual it could be when it came into contact with hers. Desire flooded her being. She felt the on-off contraction of it deep in her core. He was the only man who could reduce her to this—to this primal need that would settle for nothing less than the explosive possession of his body. Could she withstand this temptation? Could she work for him without giving in to this desperate longing?
‘I don’t need your money.’
He gave one of his harsh laughs. ‘But you’d like it all the same. You’re starting to realise what you’ve thrown away, aren’t you?’
‘I always knew what I was throwing away.’
His top lip curled. ‘Are you saying you have regrets?’
She arched her brow pointedly. ‘Don’t we all?’
He held her gaze in a stare-down that made the base of her spine fizz like sherbet. ‘My only regret is I didn’t see you for what you were at the outset. You’re a classic chameleon. You can change in the blink of an eye. I had you pegged as an old-fashioned girl who wanted the same things I wanted. But you were not that girl, were you? You were never that girl. You were a harlot on the hunt for sensory adventure and you didn’t care where you got it.’
‘Why is it such a crime for a woman to want sensory satisfaction?’ Eliza asked. ‘Why does that make me a harlot? What does that make you? Why are there no equally derogatory names for men who want to be satisfied physically? Why do women have to feel so bad about their own perfectly natural needs that you men seem to take for granted?’
‘What’s wrong with your fiancé that he can’t give you the satisfaction you want or need?’
The question was like a punch to her chest. ‘I’m not prepared to answer that.’
‘Does he even exist?’
Eliza looked at him numbly. ‘What?’
‘Is he a real person or just someone you made up to use as a get-out-of-jail-free card?’ His eyes were hard as they drilled into hers. ‘It’s a handy device to have a fiancé in the background when you want to get out of an affair that’s not going according to plan.’
She swallowed against the lump in her throat. Ewan did exist, but not as he used to be. And it was her fault. His life was as good as over. He would never feel the things he used to feel. He could never say the words he used to say. He couldn’t even think the thoughts he used to think. He existed…but he didn’t. He was caught between the conscious world and the unconscious.
‘You’re so fiercely loyal to him. But is he as loyal to you?’
Eliza lowered her gaze as she fought her emotions back down. ‘He’s very loyal. He’s a good person. He’s always been a good person.’
‘You love him.’
She didn’t need more than a second to think about it. ‘Yes…’
The silence hummed with his bitterness.
How was she going to survive a month of this? What good was going to come out of his attempt to right the wrongs of the past? Nothing could be gained from this encounter. He was intent on revenge but they would both end up even more damaged than they already were. She couldn’t fix Ewan and she couldn’t fix Leo. She had ruined two lives, three if she counted Samantha.
And what about her life—the plans she had made were nothing but pipe dreams now. She wouldn’t be able to have the family she wanted. She wouldn’t be able to have the love she craved.
She was trapped, just like Ewan was trapped.
Eliza turned to the nursery, desperate to get away from the hatred she could feel pouring out of Leo towards her. ‘I’m going to check on Alessandra. She should be awake by now.’
‘My daughter’s orientation and mobility teacher will be here at ten,’ he said. ‘Tatiana works with her until lunchtime twice a week. You can either have that time to yourself or observe some of the things she is helping Alessandra with. I don’t expect you to be on duty twenty-four hours a day.’
Eliza looked at him again. ‘Aren’t you worried that she’s going to be upset by my being here for such a short time? It sounds like a lot of people are coming and going in her life. It’s no wonder she gets upset and agitated. She doesn’t know who is going to walk in the door next.’
‘My daughter is used to being managed by carers,’ he said. ‘It’s a fact of life that she will always need to have support around her.’
She held his gaze for a beat that drummed with tension. ‘I meant what I said last night. I think you should get Kathleen to call her each day. It will give her something to look forward to and it might make the time go a little quicker for her.’
His jaw seemed to lock for a moment but then he released a harsh-sounding breath. ‘I’m not sure if Kathleen will be back. I got an email from her this morning. Her family want her to move back to Ireland. She’s still thinking about it. She’s going to tell me what she’s decided in a couple of weeks’ time.’
Eliza swallowed. ‘Does that mean you’ll want me to stay longer?’
His gaze became steely as it nailed hers. ‘Your contract is for one month and one month only. It’s not up for negotiation.’
‘But what if your daughter wants me to stay?’
‘One month.’ The words came out clipped through lips pulled tight with tension, those bitter eyes hardening even further. ‘That’s all I’m prepared to give you.’
‘Would you really put your plans for revenge before the interests of your daughter?’
‘This is not about revenge.’
She made a sceptical sound in her throat. ‘Then what is it about?’
His eyes roved her body in a searing sweep that made her skin prickle with heat and longing. The memory of his bruising kiss was still beating beneath the surface of her lips. The need he had awakened was secretly pulsing in the depths of her body—an intense ache that refused to go away. She felt it travel from her core to her breasts as his gaze travelled the length and breadth of her body. ‘I think you know what this is about.’
Lust.
It wasn’t a word Eliza particularly liked, but how else could she describe how he made her feel? From the very first moment she had met him he had triggered this earthy response in her. She knew he was experienced—very experienced. She had come to the relationship with much less experience, but what she had lacked in that department she had more than made up for in passion. Her response to him had shocked her then and it still shocked her now. Didn’t that kiss last night prove how dangerous it was to get too close to him? He would dismantle her emotional armour within a heartbeat. Making love with him would unpick every stitch of her carefully constructed resolve. She could not afford to let that happen. Going back to her bleak and lonely life in England would be so much harder to bear if she experienced the mind-blowing pleasure Leo offered. How would she settle for the bitter plate of what fate had dished up to her if she got a taste of such sweet paradise again?
Eliza threw him a contemptuous look born out of the fear that he would somehow see how terrifyingly vulnerable she was to him. ‘And just because you want something, you just go out and get it, do you? Well, I’ve got news for you. I’m not on the market.’
He came up close with that slow, leisurely stroll he had perfected. She refused to back away but instead gave him the full wattage of her heated glare as she steeled herself for the firm grasp of his hands on her arms.
But he didn’t.
Instead he gently brushed the back of his bent knuckles down the curve of her cheek in a barely touching caress that totally ambushed her defences. She felt her composure crack as her throat