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       CHAPTER EIGHT

      IT ACTUALLY WASN’T awkward when Nina saw Jack at work.

      She was too busy.

      She was allocated several new families and as the days passed her paperwork piled up, but there was always somewhere else she needed to be.

      ‘How are you doing?’ She smiled at Tommy, who was looking so much better than he had on admission. The oncology nurse Gina was adding something to his IV and smiled at Nina. The medication had, for now, stopped the seizures and there was some colour in his cheeks, though it wouldn’t be for long. Tommy was starting chemotherapy on Monday and from what she had heard it was going to be especially gruelling.

      ‘Good,’ Tommy said, and then introduced her to the woman sitting by his bed. ‘This is my aunt, she’s staying for the weekend.’

      ‘I’m Kelly.’ Tommy’s aunt smiled. ‘I’ll be coming back as often as I can. Mike’s got a job interview today, but he’s coming in this afternoon.’

      ‘That’s good.’

      It was awful.

      Nina couldn’t believe how hard it was for this family, couldn’t fathom having to look for a job when your child was so sick. She was trying to arrange some accommodation for Mike nearer the hospital for the times Tommy would be here during his treatments, but there was only so much she could do and as she said her goodbyes and walked off, Gina voiced what she was thinking.

      ‘Cruel, isn’t it?’

      Nina nodded. ‘I’m going to look into it all again—see if there is anything more the department can do.’

      ‘The poor man’s trying to be in five different places at once, and the only place he wants to be is here with his son.’ Gina sighed and when Nina got back to her office she sat with her head in her hands for a moment, because she’d added mandatory counselling to the list of places where Mike needed to be.

      And again she questioned herself.

      Still, she couldn’t dwell on it for too long as she needed to add an urgent addendum to her report for court the next day.

      Jack had rung a few times but she’d kept it short, had told him she was snowed under with work, had done everything to not give in to the urge to repeat things with him.

      Yes, she had enough to contend with and it wasn’t going to get easier any time soon, Nina thought as an angry Janey landed in her office at four p.m., after school, sulking, angry and confused about why Nina now had the three-bedroomed apartment but they still hadn’t moved in with her.

      ‘I’ve applied to be guardian for both you and Blake and the department has to come and inspect the flat and check everything thoroughly.’

      ‘Yeah, well, I don’t believe you,’ Janey shouted when Nina told her that she’d put the application in as soon as she’d secured the apartment. ‘If you really wanted us, you’d have had us living with you years ago.’

      Janey used words like knives and hurled them at Nina regularly, but though Nina had learnt to deflect most of them, these were the ones that hurt the most, because it killed her that she hadn’t been able to keep her family together.

      ‘It’s not that straightforward, Janey.’ Nina did her best to stay calm. ‘And it’s not fair to Barbara either, for me to just—’

      ‘Barbara’s a cow!’ Janey huffed.

      ‘I don’t like you speaking like that.’

      ‘Well, she is.’

      Nina gritted her teeth and not for the first time questioned if she was up to the job of dealing with such an angry teenager. Of course, professionally she was but, as she often said to tearful parents who sat in this office and asked how she handled things so well, she got a break from it, got to go home at the end of each day. If things went well, in a few weeks she could be fully responsible for Janey, and what scared Nina the most was that if she wasn’t up to the job, Janey’s bad behaviour would escalate.

      ‘Things are moving forward,’ Nina said. ‘I know it seems to be taking ages but I haven’t been in the apartment long. Why don’t we go and get something to eat and I’ll show the photos I’ve taken? I’ve got all the furniture now for your room.’

      ‘I thought you were working.’

      ‘I’m going to be working till late,’ Nina said, ‘so I can take a break now.’

      They took the lift and there were several choices where they could eat—there were a few cafés in the hospital so that parents could come and share a meal with their child if they were able to, or to spend some time away from the bedside with siblings and such. The whole hospital was geared to being not just child friendly but family friendly, but Nina was starting to feel as if her dream of her family being together was fading before it even had a chance to take off. Maybe they’d do better just walking.

      ‘What do you want to eat?’

      She was met with Janey’s shrug.

      They settled for the coffee bar and took a seat at the back where it was a quiet enough to talk. Nina bought Janey her favourite muffin and frappe and herself a regular coffee, deciding she wasn’t hungry yet and would get something to eat later.

      ‘Here.’

      Should it annoy her that Janey didn’t bother to say thank you? Should she let the small things go?

      No.

      She thought of their parents, how they’d insisted on good manners, but if she said anything, Janey would simply get up and walk out, and not wanting to risk that she let it go.

      ‘I am doing my best.’

      ‘Whatever.’

      ‘I’ve got Blake this weekend,’ Nina said. ‘Why don’t you come?’

      Janey didn’t answer. Nina quietly thought that Janey might very well be jealous of the more structured access Nina had with Blake, but that was because of his age and the distance he lived from Nina, which made shorter visits impossible. With Janey it was mainly holidays and the occasional sleepover, especially as Janey’s weekends were taken up with sport activities.

      ‘I could take you to netball.’

      ‘I’m not doing netball any more.’

      ‘How come?’ Nina asked. ‘You loved it, Blake and I were going to come and watch.’

      ‘Yeah, well, don’t bother. I got dropped.’

      ‘How come?’ Nina pushed. ‘You were doing really well.’

      ‘Till I swore at the umpire.’ Janey was peeling apart her muffin, not looking at Nina as she spoke. ‘And Barbara says that if I’m going to carry on like that then I can spend the weekend sorting out the basement.’ She looked up at Nina. ‘I guess if you ring her, though, she might let me come …’

      ‘No.’ Nina did her best not to be manipulated. Barbara was doing the hard yards, dealing with Janey, and Nina simply refused to interfere in the groundings and early bedtimes Barbara was trying to rein Janey in with. ‘Barbara’s right not to just let it go. Janey, you loved your netball. What were you doing, swearing at the umpire?’

      ‘She was a stupid cow.’

      ‘Everyone’s a cow to you …’ Nina tried to hold onto her temper, tried not to upset Janey, but it was impossible. She had no real authority with her sister. Janey pulled all