The Midwife's New-found Family. Fiona McArthurЧитать онлайн книгу.
neck ached from the strain of wanting to sink into his arm and she gave up. She rested her head back and stared rigidly at the ceiling.
She blinked. He had stars glued in constellations on the roof. It was amazing, and she imagined they would glow fabulously at night. It would have taken days to create. She frowned. He had too much time on his hands, she thought as she tried to remember what he’d said while she tried to identify the star signs. Oh, yes, midwives and mothering.
‘Known a few midwives, have you?’ she said.
He gave a short mirthless laugh and she was jolted out of her contemplation of his ceiling.
‘In my time.’ His voice held self-contempt and she frowned at the disruption to the ambience in the room.
‘I worked in that environment but nothing like you’ve spoken about,’ he said. ‘It was in another lifetime and I don’t think I could ever go back to that.’
‘You’re an obstetrician, then?’ That would explain his midwife comment.
‘Was.’
She let the word lie between them because something told her she’d been privileged to hear even that information. It seemed she’d done the right thing because he went on as if the words were forced out of him.
‘Never going back.’
She couldn’t help it. ‘Why?’
He breathed deeply. ‘In our job, sad things occasionally happen and everyone has bad runs. It’s funny how something you would normally accept as a tragedy of nature can overwhelm you unexpectedly. That’s all.’
Misty had seen her fair share of sadness but, then, she’d always felt that dealing with loss in midwifery was a privilege to share with the parents. ‘I guess it depends on your own life experience how things can affect you.’
‘You don’t know how true that is,’ he said, and the way the words dragged out of him she decided she wouldn’t offer any more comments in case she caused more damage.
The silence stretched and Misty didn’t know whether to change the subject or just wait. After what seemed like an eternity she eased her fingers into his palm and wrapped her hand around his to at least let him know she was aware of his pain.
At her tentative offer of comfort his fingers stiffened in surprise and then, very slowly, his fingers relaxed in hers. She was glad he hadn’t rebuffed her. She sensed he wasn’t used to people offering him comfort and it made her want to pull his head down onto her chest and say it was all OK. But she couldn’t do that. She didn’t even know this man.
Ben raised his head and laughed softly if somewhat sardonically at his hand in Misty’s. ‘Imagine you wanting to comfort me.’
‘I don’t find that amusing,’ Misty said quietly.
He turned his head and looked at her. His smile softened. ‘No, you wouldn’t. Because you, dear Misty, are a real person, and I haven’t seen your like for a very long time.’
She let go of his hand. ‘Probably because you live in a beach house on a deserted beach,’ she said dryly. ‘You haven’t seen any people. You should get out more.’
‘Actually, I’ve done all I need to do with my life. I’ve written a text on postnatal depression and achieved all I was going to achieve. You should probably have left me to drown.’
Misty felt his words like a vicious jab to the stomach and she drew in a breath. ‘Don’t ever speak like that again,’ she said fiercely.
She leaned up on one elbow and stared down into his face and glared ferociously, suddenly livid with him. He looked world-wearily amused but she didn’t care. This was important.
‘Every life is precious. It is sad not all patients can be saved—but you have been! By me, and that gives me some rights to tell you so. There is a desperate need for skills like yours out in this world. How dare you just fritter them away like a wastrel in your beach house?’
She barely drew breath she was so angry. ‘You were given a new chance on life today, a chance you nearly didn’t have. One of the mysteries of the universe is how I found you.’ She poked him in the chest. ‘I could have drowned trying to save you so don’t you even think of letting me down.’
Misty subsided but she could feel her heart pounding with the agitation of her emotions. She didn’t know this man, this person she’d just lectured like some prissy know-it-all, but maybe saving his life did give her some rights because it had needed saying—but now it was horrible because she felt the tears welling as she tried to calm down.
Ben sighed. ‘I’m sorry, Misty. I was being irresponsibly flippant. Everything you say is right. It was a glib and silly comment and I do regret upsetting you.’
It was his turn to rise on one elbow and look down into her face. She hoped he couldn’t see the tears at the corners of her eyes because suddenly she felt weepy and miserable, no doubt from the huge emotions of the day, but it was embarrassing nonetheless.
Ben noticed. He turned her towards him and gathered her close to encircle her body with his arms. ‘I’m sorry, mermaid.’
He pulled her even closer until their cold noses were touching. She could feel his heat between them from her breasts to her hips and again at the knees and his eyes stared into hers, intense and questioning.
‘Where have you come from?’ Their noses rubbed. ‘Why couldn’t I have met you when I was young and idealistic, like you?’ He frowned as if it was all beyond his understanding. ‘How can there be such emotion and connection between two strangers?’
She knew just what he meant. ‘I don’t know,’ she whispered as she watched him shake his head and then wince at the discomfort.
His deep tones caressed her. ‘I don’t understand, Misty, but I’m very, very grateful. Thank you for saving my life, and putting your precious life at risk to do that. I will always value your gift. Now, hush. It’s OK.’
He kissed away the dampness from her cheeks, feather-touched the end of her nose with his mouth, and finally settled his firm lips on hers. And then it all merged.
It was there, that destined connection she’d only dreamt of in her bed late at night, and there was no doubting it was a gift he hadn’t expected either.
He pulled back to stare, perplexed and startled, into her face and then his breath merged seamlessly with hers again as he kissed her until his very soul touched a place she’d known she had but had never dared to open.
He drew her even closer until through the mutual rise and fall of their chests she could feel his heart pound in time to hers. His eyes never left hers as he drew away.
‘Rest. We’ll both rest,’ he said, then he lay back and stared at the ceiling. ‘It’s been a big day.’
What was he doing? Back off, Ben admonished himself as he rested his head back on the pillow. She’d saved his life and here he was trying to ruin hers. How low could he go?
But what the hell had just happened?
CHAPTER THREE
SURPRISINGLY they both slept. When Ben woke up it was dark outside and Misty lay spooned against him like a kitten. He felt enormously better compared to when he’d gone to sleep, and disturbingly aroused.
When he sat up and glanced back at Misty’s sleeping face he felt a spasm in his heart that had nothing to do with almost losing his life. They must have turned at some time in their sleep like an old married couple—but an old married couple who’d never consummated their marriage. He grinned in the darkness. Well, that was a first.
He slid from the bed before his body got more bright ideas and he slipped into the en suite before she woke up and enticed him beyond reason. She wouldn’t have to do much.
He planted his hands on the sink