The Diminished. Kaitlyn Sage PattersonЧитать онлайн книгу.
into two, so that everyone would go through life with a twin, a counterweight—a living conscience. Those few precious to Magritte the Educator remained whole, becoming the singleborn.
There were dozens of religious texts that told the story of the cataclysm, but I think the thing that drew me back to the library again and again were the stories from before. Stories about a time when losing your twin didn’t mean losing your life, your whole self.
It didn’t take long for one of the anchorites to find Anchorite Sula and tell her I’d been lurking around the stacks, failing to make myself useful. One evening after supper, when I’d found an empty corner of the library where I could read in peace, Sula came bustling up to me, her orange robes fluttering behind her and a pained look of concern plastered onto her face.
“Obedience, child,” she said. “Do you want for tasks that will better allow you to serve your chosen deity?”
I shut the book I’d been reading and uncurled myself from the sagging armchair, already exhausted by a conversation I’d had a thousand times or more over the course of my childhood. Every child was encouraged to choose one of the gods and goddesses on whom they could focus their worship. I’d chosen Dzallie the Warrior, not that it mattered much to me either way. I’d long since given up any pretense of believing in the gods and goddesses. Growing up in the temple had shown me time and again that the Suzerain’s goal wasn’t actually the salvation of the souls of the empire, but rather power over those souls and their wealth. If the gods and goddesses were real, they would have given us leaders immune to corruption.
Much to my chagrin, my lack of faith didn’t stop the anchorites from forcing me to attend adulations and questioning me about my devotion.
“I don’t want for anything, Anchorite,” I said, grating against the fact that she’d called me by my given name. “I only had a bit of time and thought I might read.”
“You’ve been downcast since Sawny’s and Lily’s departure.”
I raised an eyebrow. “I’m surprised you noticed.”
“I don’t appreciate your tone,” Sula said, her voice flat with a familiar, weary warning. “Because you seem to have found yourself with so much free time on your hands, I have notified the Suzerain that you will assist with their equipment and cleaning needs during and after the Shriven initiates’ evening training.”
My fingers tightened around the book in my lap, and I fixed my eyes on the stone floor between our feet. The worn flagstones were dark with age and centuries of boots. Someone had mopped recently, not bothering to move the armchair. There was a ring of dust surrounding it, the line between Sula’s feet and mine; I, fittingly, was on the dirty side of the line. I took a deep breath and tried to force my anger down to a manageable level. If Sula heard even a hint of it in my voice, it’d mean overnight adulations in the haven hall for a week at least, and I didn’t think I could stand the oppressive silence or being left alone with my thoughts for that long.
“As I’m sure you’re aware,” I said, taking the time to choose my words carefully, the lies like barbs on my tongue, “my daily service is in the harbor and canneries under the supervision of Anchorite Lugine. And while I would surely be honored to serve the Suzerain in whatever capacity they desire, I know Lugine can’t afford to be left shorthanded during the warm months when we’re able to dive, and I’m in the midst of training my replacement. My sixteenth birthday is just around the corner.”
Sula sniffed. “Your assignment to aid the Shriven initiates’ training is in addition to your service with Anchorite Lugine. There’s no reason you shouldn’t fill every available hour that remains to you as a ward of the temple by repaying the generosity that has kept you fed, clothed and housed for the first sixteen years of your life.”
I bit back the sharp response that threatened to explode from my throat and simply nodded. There was no real use arguing with her. I’d do as they asked and count the days until I could leave, just like I’d always done.
“Go on,” Sula said. “They’re expecting you.”
My head snapped up and I stared at her, bewildered. “Now?”
“Yes, now. Go!”
I managed to keep the string of curses running through my head from making their way out of my mouth until I got into the hall, where I launched into a dead sprint. The last thing I wanted was to be noticed—especially unfavorably noticed—by the Suzerain.
I vaulted down the stairs and tore through the maze of corridors that led to the Shriven’s wing of the temple. I’d made it a point to stay as far away from the Shriven as I possibly could manage over the years, but I’d been sent on errands for them often enough that I knew my way to the large training room.
I paused outside for a moment to catch my breath before easing the door open, hoping to enter unnoticed. But the old hinges squealed, and I winced as every pair of eyes in the room turned to glare at me. There were maybe twenty of the Shriven initiates, all sitting cross-legged and silent. One of them grinned, baring newly sharpened teeth at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Curlin, her face flicking from surprise to a callous sort of amusement as she realized that my being there had nothing at all to do with her. I managed to keep my expression neutral, looking instead to the Suzerain. They stood at the front of the room, their arms crossed over their chests, identically impenetrable looks clouding their faces.
“Obedience,” Castor said, his voice at once familiar and disconcerting. “Anchorite Sula suggested that you might consider joining the ranks of the Shriven and would be well served by observing and assisting with the evening training sessions as we saw fit. In the future, do attempt to arrive in a timely manner so as not to disrupt our proceedings.”
Amler’s head cocked to the side, like a bird trying to decide if the creature in front of it could be eaten. I kept as still as I was able and did my best to fade into the wall. Standing there, with the full weight of their attention fixed on me, made me feel like they could see through to my very core and riffle through every secret I’d ever kept. My mind kept slipping to the loose floorboard beneath my bed and the box hidden there—my collection of pearls, waiting, glowing like so many miniature moons, still unbroken, inside.
“She doesn’t want to join the Shriven, brother. She wants to be rid of the temple as soon as we’ll consent to her leaving.”
“I simply stated Anchorite Sula’s suggestion,” Castor observed. “I didn’t say that she was correct.”
Amler nodded. “A fair point, well made, but we’ve lost two full minutes to this disturbance, and I would not like to divert from our schedule any more than absolutely necessary. Obedience, please remain in the back, out of the way. We’ll let you know when you’re needed.”
I bowed my head and shrank farther into the corner. As the evening passed into night, I found myself strangely fascinated by the Shriven’s training. I’d seen them at work in the city, of course—I somehow always managed to find myself nearby when one of the other dimmys fell into their violent grief, and the Shriven inevitably appeared to put a stop to their violence. But it’d never occurred to me that to become that capable, that deadly, the Shriven would have to work very, very hard.
The Shriven initiates mimicked the Suzerain in an endless series of exercises that inverted, balanced and stretched them in ways that didn’t seem to translate into combat at all. They practiced the same movements again and again, so many times that even I, in the corner of the room, could see their muscles quivering.
Eventually, the initiates separated into pairs, the dimmys in the room silently finding one another, and the twins turning to face their other halves.
“The staves, Obedience,” Castor called, not bothering to hide the exasperation in his voice. “Bring out the staves.”
I glanced around the room helplessly. Blunt clubs hung in clusters in one corner. Racks of blades—everything from throwing stars to swords almost as long as I was tall—decorated the wall behind the Suzerain, but I saw nothing that remotely resembled the