Love Islands: Forbidden Consequences. Natalie AndersonЧитать онлайн книгу.
across her face as an image of the seafront café, the reflection of the lights on the water, had slid into her thoughts. It seemed like a lifetime ago. She’d shifted uncomfortably under the speculation in her mother’s frowning regard.
‘You won’t make this hard...harder than it is,’ she’d corrected, appealing, ‘Will you, Mum?’
There had been a long pause and when her mum had finally shaken her head Lily had let out a long sigh of relief.
* * *
For a split second he really thought that Lily was going to block the door at the last minute, but then as she visibly straightened her slender shoulders she shifted to one side to allow him to enter the room before her.
Before he could do so Lily’s mother emerged. The woman had always had a smile and a cheery word for him in the past, but now she walked past with her head disdainfully high. She blanked him completely until the last moment when she turned her head and tossed him a killer look that he presumed she reserved only for men who got her daughter pregnant.
He was a parent... Would it ever sink in?
Behind him he registered Lily’s voice. The tone sounded urgent and pleading, but he tuned it out. All his focus was on that next step.
He took a deep breath, released it in a measured hiss and walked into the room.
In his life Ben had walked coolly into tough situations. Meetings where a false move or a show of weakness could lose him a fortune. He’d once got himself unexpectedly caught in the middle of a coup and found it exhilarating. Nerves were good. He used them; they gave him a vital edge.
He shoved his hands into his trouser pockets to hide the fact they were shaking. If only those people who said Ben Warrender had nerves of steel could see him now! As he walked into the room his body was bathed in a cold sweat. It was the hardest step he’d ever taken.
‘She’s asleep.’
He didn’t react to the unnecessary information.
She’d seemed bigger somehow when he’d seen her at Warren Court, but now she was tiny, a baby really. She lay in a baby-sized bed, the sheet pulled up to her chin, one little hand clutching it tight. There were streaks on her face as though she’d been crying.
He gasped as he felt the emotion-tipped knife slide between his ribs straight into his heart. He had worried that he was incapable of loving anyone, even his own child... He’d been wrong. He knew now that he’d lay down his life in an instant for this sleeping angel.
Watching his face as he leaned forward and touched Emmy’s cheek brought a massive aching lump of emotion to Lily’s throat. The bleakness, the pain, the wonder...she recognised them all.
Then she saw the sheen of moisture in his eyes... Sorry. The word rattled around in her head and stayed there. What was the point in saying it? If the roles were reversed she’d never have forgiven him. The knowledge lay like a stone in her chest.
‘I’ll be outside,’ she whispered huskily, turning her head so he didn’t see her own tears as she left to give him some privacy.
It was some minutes later when he emerged. His handsome face was drawn and, though he had clearly been shaken by the emotional experience, he was in control now.
As her eyes meshed with his, without warning Lily’s stomach clenched with desire that she stubbornly refused to acknowledge.
‘She is a beautiful child.’
‘I think so.’
‘Will she sleep long, do you think?’
Lily nodded and explained, ‘She had a bad night, so they gave her something. Last time it really knocked her out.’
‘So you had a bad night too?’ The shadows under her eyes made the answer obvious. She looked like a sepia copy of the radiant woman he had seen emerge from the sea. Still the most beautiful creature he had ever seen, but with a vulnerability that was programmed to arouse any man’s protective instincts.
The response was not unique to him.
‘Would you like a coffee?’ she suggested tentatively. ‘There’s a machine in the visitors’ lounge.’ She tilted her head in the direction of a corridor to her right. ‘It’s just down here.’
He nodded.
The small lounge used by parents was empty. Lily walked across to the drinks dispenser, while Ben folded his long, lean length into one of the easy chairs that lined the wall. Stretching out, he crossed one booted foot over the other.
She was conscious of his eyes following her as she walked back.
‘Black. I think it’s coffee—it’s hard to tell.’ Her lips fluttered in a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.
He looked at the paper cup for a moment before taking it and grimaced, but didn’t comment as he lifted it to his lips.
‘Sorry about Mum—she’s still in shock.’
His lashes lifted off his chiselled cheekbones. ‘There’s a lot of it about.’
Lily lifted her chin a defiant notch. ‘I did what I thought was right at the time.’ Not long ago she had had no doubts that her choice was the right one. Now...she thought again of his face, the pain and regret she had seen in his eyes.
She pushed away the guilt, but it resisted. There was no escaping it—she’d been wrong.
‘And there’s no going back. This is the way it is.’ She wished she could feel as hard and practical as she sounded.
‘We should talk.’ Because the world carried on, life carried on. Even when just down the corridor the baby he had fathered fought for her life. ‘The lawyers have drawn up a trust fund for your approval.’ A spasm of self-loathing crossed his face and he squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. ‘God, that must sound incredibly crass of me, talking about money when—’
‘No!’ she cut in. ‘You’re talking about Emmy’s future...you believe she has one.’ She gave him a watery smile of gratitude and Ben felt something in his chest tighten.
He studied her face. ‘But maybe this can wait till later?’
Lily nodded. ‘Mum is heading back home to pick up some things. Everything happened in such a rush, she’s worn the things she has on for two days straight, and Emmy has forgotten Timmy. Her teddy bear,’ she explained, catching his look. ‘I should get back to relieve her.’ She glanced at the clock on the wall above the doorframe just as a couple came in. She had seen them before. The woman was weeping on the shoulder of her husband, whose face was grey and strained.
The stab of sheer visceral fear made Lily oblivious to the hot liquid she spilled down her front. She stood blinking as the empty cup was prised from her hand.
‘Come on.’ There was no resistance in her trembling body as Ben urged her from the room. As he reached the door his glance connected with the husband of the weeping woman. The level of understanding in that look brought the situation sharply into focus...he might lose a daughter he had not known he had.
Lily looked at the tissue extended to her and shook her head, clinging to her self-control with the grim determination of a drowning man grabbing a lifeline. ‘It’s fine...’ She dug her teeth down hard into her trembling lower lip. ‘I’m not going to cry.’
‘Maybe you should,’ Ben roughed out, fighting off the protective feelings her delicacy and distress had shaken loose inside him. It mingled with the ever-present lust—the combination was one short teeth-grinding step from insanity. ‘There’s nothing wrong with letting go.’ Good advice, he told himself, thinking of the anger he had nursed towards Lily, now recognising it for what it was—a self-indulgence for which he didn’t have the time or energy to spare. ‘It would be some sort of outlet,’ he told her evenly. ‘You’re carrying around a lot of stress.’
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