Almost Forever. Linda HowardЧитать онлайн книгу.
He was far too dangerous to her peace of mind.
By the time she let herself into her apartment, she had decided to cancel the date, but as she closed the door and locked it, the empty silence of the rooms rushed at her, overwhelming her. She had refused to get a cat, feeling that would be the crowning symbol of her aloneness, but now she wished that she had some sort of pet, anything, to welcome her home. A cat or a dog wouldn’t care if she never quite measured up to expectations; a full belly and a warm bed, someone to scratch it behind the ears, was all a pet would expect. Come to think of it, she thought tiredly, that was all humans needed. Food, shelter and affection.
Affection. She’d had the food and shelter, all the material trappings of an upper-middle-class childhood. She’d even had affection, but it had been the absent-minded, exasperated crumbs of the doting love that her parents had given to Martine. Claire couldn’t even blame them; Martine was perfect. Some sisters might have lorded it over a shy, gawky younger sister, but Martine had always been kind and patient with Claire and even now worried about her. No matter how busy Martine was with her thriving law practice, her popular, outgoing children and her equally busy husband, she always made time to call Claire at least twice a week.
Still, something inside Claire had always shriveled at her parents’ obvious preference for Martine. She could remember staring at herself in a mirror as a child and wondering what was wrong with her. If she had been ugly or possessed a nasty disposition, at least then she would have been able to find some reason for not being quite good enough to please her parents. But even though she hadn’t been as beautiful as Martine, she’d still been a pretty child, and she’d tried so hard to please everyone, until she’d realized that her best wasn’t going to be good enough and began to withdraw. That was what was wrong with her: she simply wasn’t up to par. Martine was beautiful; Claire was merely pretty. Martine was a sunny, outgoing child; Claire was prone to unexplained bouts of tears and shrank from people. Martine was talented, a marvelous pianist and an outstanding art student; Claire refused to study any sort of music and often hid herself away with a book. Martine was brilliant and ambitious; Claire was bright but didn’t apply herself. Martine married a handsome, equally ambitious young lawyer, went into practice with him and had two gorgeous, happy children; Claire had married Jeff—the one time in her life she’d ever pleased her mother—but the marriage had fallen apart.
Now, from a distance of five years, Claire had a very clear view of her marriage and the reasons it had failed. Most of it had honestly been her fault. She had been so terrified of failing to live up to what she thought everyone expected of her as Mrs. Jefferson Halsey that she had dashed around trying to be the perfect social hostess, the perfect homemaker, the perfect sport and had spread herself so thin that there had been almost nothing left over for Jeff. At first he’d tolerated it; then the gulf between them had widened and his eye had begun wandering … and settled on Helene, who was beautiful, older than Claire and marvelously self-assured. Only Claire’s unexpected pregnancy had prevented a divorce right then. To his credit, Jeff had been tender and kind to Claire, even though her pregnancy had been the end of his relationship with Helene. He loved Helene, but Claire was his wife and carried his child, and he refused to devastate her by asking for a divorce.
Then she had miscarried. He waited until she had recovered physically then told her that he wanted out. Their divorce had probably disappointed half of Houston in its lack of acrimony. Claire had known that it was over before she’d ever lost the baby. They divorced quietly, Jeff married Helene as soon as it was legally possible, and within a year Helene had presented him with a son. Now she was pregnant again.
Claire washed her face and brushed her teeth, then got into bed and picked up her book from the night table, trying not to think of the baby she’d lost. That was the past, as was her marriage, and really, the divorce had been the best thing that had ever happened to her. It had forced her to wake up and take a good look at herself. She had been wasting her life trying to please everyone else, rather than herself. She was going to be herself, and for the past five years, she had been. On the whole, she was content with the life she’d made for herself. She had a good job; she read when she liked and as much as she liked. She listened to the music she preferred. She was really closer now to Martine than she’d ever been before, because Claire no longer felt threatened by her older sister. She was even on better terms with her parents … if only her mother would stop pushing her to “find a nice young man and settle down.”
Claire didn’t go out a lot; she couldn’t see any point in it. She wasn’t inclined to settle for a lukewarm marriage based on common interests, and she wasn’t the type to inspire red-hot passion. She had learned control and how to protect herself with that control. If that made her cool and unresponsive, that was fine. Better that than to leave herself open to the devastating pain rejection brought.
That was the life she’d chosen and deliberately built for herself; why, then, had she accepted a dinner date with Max Benedict? Despite his sense of humor, he was still a playboy, and he had no place at all in her life. She should politely but firmly break their date. Claire closed her book, unable to read it, after all; Maxwell Benedict’s handsome face kept swimming before the print. Her brown eyes were troubled as she turned out the lamp and pulled the sheet up to cover her. Despite all the warnings of her instincts, she knew that she wasn’t going to break the date.
Max sat in his hotel room, his feet propped on the coffee table and a pot of coffee at his elbow. His brow was furrowed with an intense frown as he read one of the thick reports he’d received in the mail. One lean forefinger stroked his left eyebrow as he read; his reading speed was phenomenal, and he had almost finished. Absently he reached for the coffeepot, and the frown turned impatient as he realized that the pot was nearly empty. He replaced the pot on the tray and pushed it aside. Coffee! He’d become addicted to the stuff, another American habit that he’d acquired.
Swiftly he finished the report then tossed it aside. His eyes narrowed to slits. Anson had picked up hints that another company was after Bronson Alloys. That was a disturbing development in itself, but even more alarming were the rumors that this company had ties to Eastern Europe. If the rumors were true, then word had somehow gotten out that Bronson had developed an alloy that was lightweight and almost indestructible, superior to the alloy used for the SR-71 spy planes. So far, the alloy itself was only a rumor; nothing had been announced, and if anything had been developed, Sam Bronson was keeping it to himself. Still, the rumors were persistent.
He didn’t like it. Any move by another company would force him to make his own move, perhaps before he was ready, which would increase the chance for failure. Max didn’t intend to fail. He despised failure; his personality was too intense and fiercely controlled to accept anything less than total victory in whatever he attempted.
He picked up the report again and thumbed through it, but he allowed his thoughts to drift. The woman, Claire Westbrook … she wasn’t quite what he’d expected. Anson had thought that she might be the weak link, and Max had coolly expected that he could charm her as effortlessly as he did every woman. It hadn’t worked out that way. She was cool and calm, almost too controlled, and unresponsive; even though she had eventually accepted his dinner invitation, Max had the impression that she’d done so for her own reasons.
His eyes narrowed. From the time he’d reached puberty, the female sex had practically been at his feet. He appreciated women, enjoyed them, desired them, but women had come easily for him. This was the first time a woman had looked at him with a cool, blank expression then turned away in total disinterest, and he didn’t like it. He was both irritated and challenged, and he shouldn’t feel either of those responses. This was business. He would use his charm to get the needed information without a qualm; corporate war was just that: war, despite the outward civility of three-piece suits and board meetings. But seduction had never been a part of his plan, so his unwilling attraction to her was doubly unwelcome. He couldn’t afford the distraction. He had to concentrate on the job at hand, get the information in a hurry and make his move.
He knew his nature was intensely sensual, but always before, his physical needs and responses had been controlled by the power of his icy intellect. He was master of his body, not the other way around. That was part of his character; nature had