The Come-Back Cowboy. Jodi O'DonnellЧитать онлайн книгу.
in Deke’s case, a card-carrying cowboy leaver.
Which caused that timer inside him to speed up again in that dangerous tick-tick-tick, of the second hand edging ever closer to…to what?
To nothing! Deke told himself. He was Jace’s father, damn it! No matter what had happened between the two of them, he deserved to know his son, deserved a chance to be a father to him!
Maybe that had been Jud’s plan: to bring Deke on to do some troubleshooting and give him the opportunity to know Jace while he was here. But if so, there was still a puzzle piece missing, because Addie had just said she didn’t know why he’d come to the Bar G, and it had obviously been a surprise when he showed up.
“Jud didn’t tell you, did he,” Deke said abruptly.
She went as wary as a cat. “Tell me what?”
And God help him, he couldn’t help taking some satisfaction in informing her. “He hired me as a ranching consultant to put the Bar G back on solid ground. Which means I’m here to stay, Addie.”
Chapter Two
A ddie felt as if she would be sick right there in the ranch yard, her thoughts were whirling around her head so fast, while hurt and betrayal flip-flopped in her stomach.
“Daddy hired you?” she asked through numbed lips. “That’s why you came back, to be a ranch consultant?”
“That’s right—me, Deke Larrabie.” His gaze had gone back to that stoniness that was frightening, so different was he from the emotionally charged twenty-two-year-old she’d last known. Just a split second before, though, she’d seen the spark, hot and fiery, leap to his eyes.
Yet make no mistake: The endearing rough edges of the half-boy, half-man she’d fallen in love with had been whittled away and sanded down, so that little showed that wasn’t meant to be seen.
Yes, that boy was gone. But she’d come to terms with that fact seven years ago. Hadn’t she?
“I don’t know what Daddy was thinkin’, telling you there was a job for you to do here,” Addie said desperately, trying to come up with some valid arguments while not knowing the terms Deke and her father had discussed. It was difficult to concentrate for just that reason. What had her father been thinking? Why would he take such a step behind her back? Sure, they’d discussed whether a ranching consultant would be able to do anything for the Bar G that she couldn’t do herself, given the time and the money. Which of course they’d have once she’d married…
Connor.
Sheer panic hit her like a tornado. She had to get Deke out of here before—
But it was too late. In the distance, a fire-engine red dual-wheeled pickup sped along the blacktop toward the Bar G.
Addie stepped closer to Deke, hoping to keep him from turning to see what had caught her eye.
“First of all,” she said quickly, “the Bar G’s already got someone capable of revamping its operations—me. I’ve been practically runnin’ the ranch since I was eighteen.”
“Then, why would Jud think it necessary to bring me in?” Deke asked with all reasonableness.
“I don’t know!” Oh, but she intended to find out the next time she saw her father! “Second, we’re just breaking even right now, which means there’s no room in the budget to put anyone else on the payroll.”
It near to killed her to admit such a thing, but she was desperate. The dually was turning under the lintel sign at the end of the lane.
Deke had an argument for that one, too. “Jud and I agreed I’d be workin’ without pay for the time being,” he said, adding quietly, “I thought it the least I could do to make up for the damage my daddy caused seven years ago.”
For the moment, Addie forgot all about the red pickup. “We don’t need your charity, Deke Larrabie!”
“Then, you’ll understand real well why I couldn’t hang around here those years ago and take yours without raisin’ a word of protest,” he replied with that maddening calm.
No way would she let him turn the fault back on her!
Yet Addie closed her eyes against the tide of emotion that rose in her at his words, for even now the memory of that night could make her weep with unconditional sympathy. She’d never forget Deke’s face, streaked with sweat and soot, as he stared at the smoldering wreckage containing his father’s remains, in his hand the empty bottle of Jim Beam that moments before Mick Brody had shoved at him in disgust. Still filled with the power of the bond she and Deke had just forged between them, Addie had felt the last particle of her heart that hadn’t already been his go out to him.
Yet, then came the other memory, just as heart-wrenching, of when she’d laid her hand upon Deke’s arm in silent comfort, and he’d bent upon her that sightless gaze—in which she’d seen the kind of devastation she could only imagine—before turning away from her, shutting her out like the door of a vault slamming shut.
Addie pressed the back of one hand against her lips. Suddenly, it all seemed too much to handle. She didn’t care that the damp had crept through her clothing to her skin, had invaded her very bones. Didn’t care that in her fervor she’d gotten a swipe of mud on her skirt from her shoes, still clutched in her hands. Didn’t care that she looked like anything but a woman on her way to pick out her wedding ring with the man who would place it on her finger and give her the security, if not the all-encompassing emotional connection, that she so craved.
It was a choice she made gladly, because she’d had the other—and while it had been as wild and exhilarating as a Texas thunderstorm sweeping through her heart, it had left just as quickly, with nothing for her to do but pick up the pieces alone.
Yes, she must remember: such emotion wasn’t worth the heartache.
Addie opened her eyes and gazed at the man who’d caused that heartache. “Maybe you did think you were doing what was best for me by leaving, Deke. And maybe you’re hoping that by coming back you can make up for…oh, for a lot of things. Like helpin’ out the Bar G to make up for your daddy’s accident. The problem is, there’re some things you can’t make up for. Because the thing I can’t forgive you for is that you never let me decide what was best for me. You took that choice with you when you went away. And when you did, you took away Jace’s choice, too.”
Addie spread her arms in front of her in a simple gesture. “This time I have a choice, and I mean to use it by doing what’s best not only for me, but for my son.”
Gripping her shoes in her hands, she pointed them both straight at her heart. “Yes, my son, Deke. I will not let you turn Jace’s world on end.”
She almost believed he hadn’t heard her, he seemed so caught up in his thoughts, those amber-green eyes boring into her, yet looking at a place only he could see. When their focus clouded, then came back to her, the expression in them was haunted.
“I’ve got no intention of upsetting Jace,” he finally said. “But I’m not leavin’, either.”
She saw he was dead serious. Deke Larrabie, the man who’d left her then so easily, now wouldn’t budge an inch. She’d find the irony amusing if it didn’t make her want to cry.
Because she saw, too, how very, very difficult it was for him to stay.
“Look, Deke,” she said, trying one more time. “If you’re truly serious about wanting to make up for some of the pain you’ve caused us, then leave.”
The shiny red dually pulled up a few yards behind Deke. “Now. Please.” She couldn’t keep the urgency from her voice.
“No, Addie.” Shaded by the brim of his hat, his face looked carved in stone. Yet set within the stone, those eyes glittered like gems. “This time, I’ve got a choice, too—and I’m choosing to stay.”
“Then,