Long-Lost Mom. Jill ShalvisЧитать онлайн книгу.
taking in the strain so evident on her pale face. “Hey... are you okay?”
“I...” A puff of air escaped her as she deflated. She set her forehead on the table. “I’m fine. Feeling stupid, but other than that, just fine.”
“Stupid?”
Pulling her hand free, she shot him a sheepish smile. “I don’t often unload on strangers, then admit to...well, you know.”
He grinned. “Wanting me?”
“Yes, that,” she said, rolling her eyes and looking away as a flush crept up her cheeks.
“Then, thank you.”
She gave a surprised little laugh. “I’m not sure what overcame me, telling a stranger...”
“I’m not a stranger anymore, not really.” He hesitated, wondering why he wanted her so much. It increased every time their gazes met, every second he spent with her. “Strange as it sounds, I never felt like we were strangers at all.”
She went still. “We should order the pizza. Now.” Managing a weak smile, she held up the menu.
Stone took it from her. “So, you want it all?”
Her bravado faltered. “Excuse me?”
He grinned. “On your pizza. You want everything on it.
A smile curved her lips then, the first genuine one he’d seen, and man, it was a stunner. It made it easy to throttle back and enjoy the evening, for although he hadn’t planned on becoming interested in a woman he suspected was chock-full of secrets and surprises, he also didn’t want to turn and walk away.
“Yes, everything,” she said, amusement in her eyes. “On the pizza, that is.”
And in that moment Stone knew that he wanted this woman in his life. It wasn’t wise, or even practical, because she wasn’t like his usual “safe” pick—a woman he couldn’t possibly fall for.
Truth was, for the first time ever he just might have found a woman to make him forget Jenna once and for all.
* * *
Several days went by before Jenna felt settled enough to face the task she’d been putting off since she’d arrived back in San Paso Bay.
Leaving her old life had not been much of a problem. For ten years she’d avoided emotional attachments like the plague because she hadn’t been able to trust anyone. No way would she risk her heart ever again, although now that vow made her angry at herself. She’d wasted so much time.
No longer.
Given the ridiculously huge amount she’d been awarded in her settlement, she didn’t have to work again a day in her life unless she wanted to—which she did. It had become vital to her mental health that she completely change her lifestyle. Not only did she want to face her past, but she wanted to settle here and earn her way.
And more than anything, she wanted Sara back in her life. She’d be lying if she didn’t also admit she wanted Stone in that life, as well, but just remembering what she’d blurted out at dinner had her face heating in mortification all over again.
She knew she couldn’t tell him who she was—not yet. Not until he knew she’d changed, that she was indeed a good person, though she herself was still working on really believing that.
While recuperating from that first meeting with her daughter and the man she’d never forgotten, Jenna enjoyed the wonderful cozy new house she’d purchased. It was on top of a hill overlooking the bay. Far below she could hear the ocean roar, watch the sun set on the water. It was a place that had represented happiness to her when she’d been a girl on the other side of the tracks, and it was still a comfy old elegant neighborhood.
While getting her life together, she planned to slowly furnish and decorate the house in hopes that someday Sara would want to visit her regularly, or even live with her part of the time—although Jenna was almost afraid to have hopes for that far in the future.
Today was the first day of the rest of her life, she decided. And to prove it, she was going to call her sister. Then she would go to the office she’d leased and set up her business, which she’d rented because it was in the same industrial park as Stone’s workshop.
Before she could lose her nerve, Jenna picked up the phone and dialed the number the detective had given her, her pulse beating hard in her ears.
Her palms went sweaty. Her stomach hurt.
By the time she heard the soft-spoken hello, Jenna’s heart was pounding so loudly she almost couldn’t hear herself think.
“Hello?” Kristen repeated, clearly annoyed. “Is anyone there?”
“Hello, Kristen. It’s me...Jenna.”
“Jenna?” She heard the audible click of a breath being caught. “Really? Jenna? Oh, my God—” Kristen broke off so abruptly it was as if she’d covered her mouth to hold all noise in.
Jenna squeezed her eyes shut as pain sliced through her. She’d known, hadn’t she? She’d known she wouldn’t be welcomed back with open arms.
Two years older than she, Kristen had run in a completely separate circle. They’d never been close, mostly, Jenna realized now, because she had done everything in her power to push her perfect older sister away so that she could wallow in self-pity—self-pity over never being able to please her mother.
Jenna truly regretted that now, for Kristen could have been an ally in those terrible times, but it was too late. Far too late. Kristen didn’t want to talk to her.
“I’m sorry,” Jenna whispered. “It’s just that I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, about how things used to be.” She couldn’t even hear Kristen breathing. “I... I remember telling you I hated you.” The shame nearly killed her, but she had to say it quickly before Kristen hung up. Even if they never spoke again, Jenna had to get it out. “I didn’t mean it, Kristen, I didn’t. It’s just that I was so angry... I took it out on you.”
A pained sound came over the phone.
“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” Jenna said, closing her eyes. “I never meant to.”
Another indescribable sound. A muffled sob?
Jenna’s throat burned. Her eyes stung, and dammit, she shouldn’t have put in her contact lenses, should have worn the thick glasses she kept in her purse for emergencies. “I shouldn’t have called—”
“No,” Kristen finally managed. She gulped, sniffed and then gulped again.
Her sister was crying. Damn, she was no good at this. “Kristen.” What else could she say? What? “Please, oh, please, don’t cry. I’m so sorry.”
“Jenna.” Kristen sniffed and sighed. “Oh, honey, I’m glad it’s you. I’ve been wanting...” She drew a ragged breath. “I’ve been hoping you’d call me someday.”
Jenna’s head swam as spots of relief blurred her vision. “You’re...glad? You’re sure? I thought at first, when you didn’t say anything... I nearly hung up, I’m so nervous.”
“No, oh, no,” Kristen said. “I didn’t mean to make you feel... God. I’m just so relieved, so happy, I couldn’t talk for a minute.” Apparently she no longer had that problem. “Where have you been, Jenna?” Kristen’s voice gained momentum as she regained her power of speech, though she still spoke in a tear-filled shaky voice. “And why haven’t you called before? I’ve been looking for you. For years. Years.”
“You have?”
“Yes. Say something else, just so I know I’m not dreaming.”
The fist around Jenna’s heart loosened. “You sound the same. Perfect.”
“You don’t sound the same at all.”