The Royal Collection. Rebecca WintersЧитать онлайн книгу.
think of a single way to stop her. Her perfect scones tasted like ashes in her mouth.
After that one glance, she couldn’t bear to look at Corran again. He wasn’t saying anything, but she could feel the cold fury radiating from him as clearly as if he had touched her. They were sitting rigidly side by side on the sofa facing the Rowlands, and the air between them was jangling with such tension that Lotty couldn’t believe that Kath hadn’t noticed.
‘She’s probably getting legless on some yacht somewhere,’ Dick Rowland interrupted his wife at last. ‘Corran, have you thought about a fish farm?’
So then they had to have a long discussion about the merits of salmon versus trout. Lotty crumbled her perfect scone on her plate and couldn’t decide whether she longed for them to go, or dreaded it because then she would have to face Corran.
It felt as if she sat there for hours before Dick finally slapped his hands on his thighs and announced that they would have to get on the road. He hauled himself to his feet, followed reluctantly by his wife.
‘I think you’ve got something here,’ he said to Corran. ‘Send me those figures, and we’ll talk when I get back from Skye.’
Outside, he thanked Lotty for the tea. ‘Those were the best scones I’ve ever tasted,’ he told her and then turned to shake hands with Corran. ‘You’re a lucky man, Corran, to have found yourself such a good cook!’
Dick was clearly waiting for Corran to put his arm around Lotty and smile and agree that he was a lucky man, but Corran couldn’t bring himself to touch her. To touch the missing Princess of Montluce. Because of course that was who she was. He’d seen her expression. Only a fool wouldn’t have guessed the truth long ago.
A fool like him.
Somehow Corran summoned a brief smile and managed to unlock his jaw enough to thank Dick for coming.
Face set, he stood next to Lotty—no, next to Princess Charlotte—on the doorstep and waved the Rowlands off. In silence they waited until the car had negotiated the bend in the track.
‘Well, I think that went well, don’t you, Your Highness?’ he said at last.
Lotty flinched at the unpleasant emphasis on the title, but she didn’t deny it. ‘I think it did, yes,’ she said and turned to go back inside.
Her coolness enraged Corran so much that he grabbed at her arm before he remembered just who she was and snatched his hand back as if he’d been stung. ‘You’ve been lying to me!’
‘How?’ Her face was pale, but her chin was up. How could he ever have mistaken her for anything but a princess? ‘How have I lied, Corran?’ she demanded. ‘I told you that I lost my purse. That wasn’t a lie. I told you I needed a job. That wasn’t a lie. I told you that I wanted to get away for a while but that I couldn’t stay for ever. That wasn’t a lie either. I haven’t lied about anything important.’
‘What about omitting the tiny little bit of information about you being a princess?’ he said furiously.
‘Would it have made a difference?’
Corran was thrown by her cool challenge. ‘A difference to what?’
‘To whether you’d let me stay. To whether you’d have made love to me. To everything.’
He rubbed a distracted hand over his face. ‘Yes! No! I don’t know!’
Lotty smiled sadly. ‘That’s why I didn’t tell you,’ she said.
Without another word, she turned and went back into the drawing room, where she began to gather up the teacups as if nothing had happened, as if his world hadn’t just been turned upside down.
‘You must have thought I was an idiot!’ Corran followed her, too angry and humiliated to let it go. ‘I can’t believe I didn’t see it before. There was so much that didn’t add up. I should have guessed what you were. Who else but a princess wouldn’t know how to make a cup of tea? Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘I couldn’t!’ Lotty’s voice rose, and she let the cups and saucers clatter onto the tray. ‘I didn’t want to tell you! I didn’t want you to start treating me carefully, the way everyone else does.
Just once, just for a short while, I wanted someone to look at me and see me, not a princess.’ She pressed a fist to her chest. ‘Me!’
There was a silence. Corran’s gut churned with disappointment and dismay as he stared at her, trying to see the old Lotty in the princess with the flashing eyes and the hectic flush along her cheekbones.
‘So what exactly are you doing here?’
‘I’m being selfish.’
Without warning, the fury drained out of her and she dropped onto the sofa as if someone had knocked her legs out from beneath her.
‘Everything I told you about my family was true,’ she said, looking down at her hands. ‘Except I didn’t tell you that Papa was Crown Prince of Montluce. He was a gentle man, and I don’t think he ever got over my mother dying when she did. He retreated into his studies, and my grandmother ran the country behind the scenes far more effectively than he could ever have done.’
Lotty risked a glance at Corran, who had folded his arms and was listening with a grim expression. How was she going to make him understand what her life in Montluce was like?
‘Papa was more interested in Ancient Greece than in shaking hands,’ she went on after a moment. ‘That was my job. As soon as I left school, I stepped into my mother’s shoes and became the public face of Montluce. I didn’t have a choice,’ she tried to explain, hating the desperation that curled the edges of her voice. ‘I’m an only child. Papa was wrapped up in his own world, my grandmother is elderly. I couldn’t refuse. I was brought up to do my duty and I did it.
‘Montluce may be a tinpot country to you, Corran, but it matters to the people who live there. Wherever I go, people are delighted to see me. I’m loved by thousands. They all think I’m wonderful. They all think I’m beautiful. I’m their perfect princess,’ said Lotty dully. ‘I can’t disappoint them by behaving badly, so I don’t. I let them put me up on a pedestal, and then I realised I couldn’t get down.’
‘So how did you get from the pedestal to Loch Mhoraigh?’ Corran’s voice was as hard as his expression.
Lotty let out a long sigh. How could someone like Corran possibly understand?
‘Worse than realising that I was stuck was realising that I didn’t know what I was doing up there in the first place,’ she said. ‘Why do all those people love me? It has to be because of what I am—how could it be because of who I am? Nobody knows who I am, least of all me.’
She paused. Corran was listening, but it was impossible to tell what he was thinking. ‘My family has a proud history. It’s full of individuals who fought for Montluce and what they believed was right. I’m not like them. I’ve never had to fight for anything. I’ve never been tested.’
‘That’s not true,’ said Corran angrily. ‘For God’s sake, Lotty, you coped with losing your mother at twelve and being sent away to school. How much more tested do you want to be?’
‘I just didn’t feel as if I had ever had a chance to discover who I really was,’ she said. ‘When Papa died, I was sad, but I thought that at last I’d have the chance to step out of the limelight and find a life of my own. The new Crown Prince had a wife, so they didn’t need me. But then my uncle died, and his son soon afterwards, and it seemed like every time I turned round there was another family tragedy.’
Lotty smiled sadly. ‘Someone had to represent the family while everything was in turmoil, and how could I refuse when everyone was depending on me? Now we’ve got Crown Prince Honoré. He doesn’t have a wife either, and his only heir is his son Philippe. My grandmother decided it would be a good thing