The Royal Collection. Rebecca WintersЧитать онлайн книгу.
one of the sofas and covered her face with her hands.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, her voice muffled. ‘I’m so sorry, Corran.’
The anger leaked out of the air and Corran sat down heavily beside her. Gently, he pulled her hands from her face so that he could look into her eyes.
‘It’s true, then? You’re having a baby?’ His throat was very tight. ‘Our baby?’
‘Yes, it’s true,’ said Lotty, her fingers curling around his in spite of herself.
‘It was that afternoon when we couldn’t wait to go back to the house, wasn’t it?’ said Corran, and her cheeks warmed at the memory of the heat that had consumed them as the dust drifted in the sunlight and the smell of wood shavings filled the air.
‘I think it must have been.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me, Lotty?’
She pulled her hands from his. ‘You told me you weren’t ready for children,’ she reminded him. ‘You told me how Ella tricked you into marriage by claiming to be pregnant. You told me you were never making a mistake like that again.’ She swallowed.
‘I didn’t want to be a mistake, Corran,’ she said, ‘and I didn’t want you to think of our baby as one. I was afraid that if I told you before the baby was born, you’d do exactly what you’ve done, and come rushing out to do your duty.’
‘Duty?’ said Corran slowly. ‘Is that what you think this is?’
‘What else can it be?’ Lotty hugged her arms together to stop herself from reaching for him. ‘I know how you feel. I know that the estate is your priority now. You think having a child would be a disaster, and you don’t want to be stuck with a wife like me. I know all that.
‘I don’t blame you,’ she went on quickly as Corran opened his mouth. ‘I completely understand the kind of woman you need at Loch Mhoraigh.’
‘Do you?’ He put his head on one side and regarded her thoughtfully, a smile hovering for the first time around his mouth and in the depths of his eyes. ‘What kind of woman is that?’
‘You want a farmer’s wife.’ Her voice was dull and she fiddled with the ends of her stole. ‘You need someone practical who’s used to country living. I understand that.’
Corran nodded. ‘I thought I needed a sensible, practical wife too. In fact, I was sure of it, but it turns out that what I really need is a princess who can’t cook.’
Lotty leapt to her feet in agitation before he could go any further. ‘You’re just asking me because of the baby,’ she said, wrapping her arms miserably around herself. ‘I knew this would happen! That’s why I didn’t tell you.’
She took a turn around the room while she tried to get her thoughts in order. ‘I don’t need you to look after me, Corran,’ she said eventually. ‘I’m not denying you your rights as a father. I know you’ll be a good one. I can see you don’t want your child growing up split between two parents the way you did, but you’d never be like your father. I know Mhoraigh will be an important part of our child’s life.
‘I’ll be fine on my own,’ she said, lifting her chin in the unconscious gesture Corran recognised so well. ‘I may be about to fall off my pedestal as far as the country is concerned, and my grandmother may be disappointed, but nobody’s going to cast me out onto the street. Even if they were, I’d rather do that than know you were marrying me because you feel responsible.’
She’d done a full circuit and was back where she’d started. Corran was still sitting on the sofa, watching her with an unreadable expression.
‘You’d feel trapped and resentful, and that’s no way to start a marriage,’ she told him. ‘You’ve already been through that once, and I’m not going to do that to you again.’
‘Finished?’ said Corran, getting to his feet in his turn.
Lotty’s eyes flickered around the room as she tried to work out if that was a trick question or not.
‘Yes,’ she said, but doubtfully.
‘Good, so perhaps I can have my say now?’
‘All right,’ she said with a wary look.
Corran took a deep breath. ‘I know you don’t need me, Lotty,’ he said. ‘Why do you think it’s taken me so long to come and find you? Look at you,’ he went on, gesturing at the diamonds around her neck, the tiara in her hair. ‘You’re a princess! You live in a palace! You’ve got everything you could ever want. What can a man like me possibly give you that you don’t already have?
‘You don’t need me, Lotty,’ he said again, ‘but I need you. I need you desperately. I thought that all I needed was Loch Mhoraigh. I thought if I could be where I belonged, I’d be fine, but I’ve learnt that belonging is about people as much as about place. You taught me that,’ he told her. ‘You made me realise that Loch Mhoraigh is just a place, and that I’ll belong anywhere as long as I’m with you.’
‘But the baby…?’ she managed.
‘The baby gave me the courage to come and tell you myself,’ said Corran. ‘I’d been sitting there at Loch Mhoraigh, missing you, wishing I’d told you how much I loved you before you left. Furious with myself for not asking you to stay while I had the chance.’
He took hold of the ends of her stole and used it to draw Lotty towards him, very slowly. ‘Whenever I went into the shop, Betty McPherson would tell me how she’d been reading about you in the magazines and it sounded as if you were having a wonderful time, going to parties and doing all the things you never did at Loch Mhoraigh. I thought you were happy,’ he said.
Lotty shook her head slowly. ‘I wasn’t happy.’
‘Then Betty showed me the picture where they were speculating about you being pregnant, and you looked sad. You didn’t look the way you looked at Loch Mhoraigh, and then I thought, what if she isn’t happy? What if it’s not too late to tell her that I love her? What if she really is having my baby, and needs me now even a fraction of the way I need her? I knew how hard it would be for you. I couldn’t bear the thought of you dealing with your grandmother and the press and everyone else all on your own when I ought to be with you. I was furious with myself for not being with you, and furious with you for not telling me.
‘And so I came,’ he said simply. ‘I didn’t stop to think about what I would say when I got here. I heard about the party tonight and I knew you’d be there. I’ve got mates who work as bodyguards so I know how these things work—and, by the way, your security team isn’t quite as tight as it ought to be! There’s no way I should have been able to get to you.
‘But I did, and there you were, standing in the middle of the floor, and you looked so beautiful, like the princess you are, but you were you too…’
Corran broke off, looking ruefully down into Lotty’s face. ‘Sorry, I’m not explaining this very well, am I? It was just…when I looked into your eyes, I didn’t see Princess Charlotte. I saw Lotty—the Lotty I’ve missed so desperately since you left. The Lotty I belong with.’
‘Oh, Corran…’ Lotty’s mouth trembled and Corran let go of the stole to take her hands instead.
‘Everything I told your grandmother—and all those people who were listening, agog—is true. I’m not in love with Princess Charlotte, but I am in love with you. Please tell me you’ve missed me too, Lotty. Tell me you need me and love me, even if it’s just a little bit.’
‘Oh, Corran, of course I do!’ Her voice broke. ‘Of course I love you!’
Lotty’s tears spilled over as he pulled her hard against him and his arms closed around her at last. She buried her face into his throat and wept while he held her and murmured endearments into her hair. ‘I’m