Regency Surrender: Passion And Rebellion. Louise AllenЧитать онлайн книгу.
his disgust. ‘Marriage is for property and money, Francesca. Do not expect too much from life and you will not be disappointed.’
‘Is that true, Miss Goodrum?’
All eyes turned to her and Sarah felt warm. She guessed that her cheeks were very pink.
‘Money and property are useful, but I would prefer to live in a cottage with a man I loved than be a fine lady in a manor.’
She had given her pupil a false impression by implying that she cared nothing for money. Her own situation was entirely different—and yet she would not advise marrying for position alone.
‘Of course having money is very useful,’ she added conscientiously.
‘I think I shall marry for love. I want more than just a convenient arrangement,’ Francesca announced and her head went up as if defying her cousin to challenge her.
‘I think you are wise. You should think carefully before committing yourself.’
‘I shall not marry unless I fall in love.’
‘You cannot throw yourself away on an adventurer,’ Sarah said. ‘But I would hold your heart in reserve until you find someone who will show you love rather than mere affection.’
Francesca was silent, but obviously thoughtful. Lord Myers was frowning, perhaps shocked by the new governess’s unconventional opinions. Sarah realised that she was speaking her mind, but perhaps in a way that might not benefit her pupil.
‘Of course you would wish your husband to be a gentleman and of reasonable fortune.’
‘So love in a cottage might not be everything after all?’
Lord Myers threw her a mocking look that stung Sarah. She wanted to retort sharply, but decided she had been indiscreet enough for one day and merely inclined her head, as if acknowledging his hit.
* * *
After tea, Sarah asked to be taken up to the schoolroom and both Francesca and John accompanied her, leaving Lord Myers to do whatever gentlemen did until it was time to change for dinner.
Sarah glanced at some of the work her pupils had done, thought it uninspired and dull, but made no comment. They looked at the books that had been provided and she shook her head over the lack of history and literature.
‘Does the marquess have a library here?’
‘There are shelves of books,’ Francesca said. ‘The last tutor spent most of his time there and told us it was off limits, because the books were too valuable to be touched by ignorant children.’
‘Good gracious!’ Sarah was shocked. ‘How could he have been so impolite! I feel his attitude showed a lack of both manners and sense. I shall ask Lord Myers if we may use the library for our lessons when there are no guests staying. This room is too isolated and dark. If the library is on the ground floor, we can have the windows and doors open on nice days and take our books outside.’
‘You’re different,’ John said, looking at her oddly. ‘Not like a governess at all. Do we have to call you Miss Goodrum?’
Sarah hesitated, then shook her head. ‘In company it might be wise to do so—but when we are together you may call me Sarah if you wish.’
‘I thought your name was Hester Goodrum?’
‘My father called me Sarah and I prefer it.’ Sarah felt the open-eyed scrutiny of the young girl and guilt struck her. She had not given enough thought to this escapade before changing places with the governess. It felt uncomfortable to lie to this girl, more so than the eagle-eyed man who was here to overlook their education.
She wanted to be Francesca’s friend. She sensed that the girl was lonely and needed the love of a mother or an elder sister. Sarah would like to give her friendship, to have her trust and like her—but their friendship must be based on a lie, and that hurt.
She would make up for her deceit somehow. As she heard the eagerness in the young girl’s voice, Sarah vowed that she would do all she could to make her happy and to prepare her for a life in society. If things went as she hoped, no one need know that she was not Hester Goodrum and when she left them no harm would have been done.
Sarah lost no time in changing for the evening after her pupils had gone to their own rooms. John was clearly excited at the prospect for it was the first time he had been allowed to have dinner in the dining room, with the exception of Christmas dinner, which was always earlier so that the staff could enjoy a little free time in the evening. Francesca was pleased, but trying hard to be grown-up and take it all in her stride.
Having changed quickly into a simple grey-silk gown, which was the only one of her own that Sarah had brought with her and suitable for dinner should she be summoned to dine with the family, she went downstairs to find Lord Myers. One of the footmen directed her to the library and she found him perusing the shelves, which were set out on three sides of the room. There were several long windows to let in the light and a set of French windows, which might be opened to allow access to the garden. A perfect room for studying.
‘Forgive me for disturbing you, my lord,’ she said in what she hoped was the tone a governess might use. ‘I see you enjoy reading, which may make you more disposed to granting my request. I find the schoolroom inadequately provided for my pupils’ education and I hoped we might have permission to use the library for an hour or two each morning.’
He turned to look at her, his eyes narrowing as they studied her. Sarah wondered if her gown was too smart. It was the simplest she had and she would not have worn it had he not made it impossible for her to refuse to dine with him.
‘I am not sure what my uncle would think about his privacy being invaded should he decide to come down—but while he is in London I see no reason why we should not share the facility. I like to read in the evenings when we do not have company, but I shall be busy in the estate office in the mornings. Shall we say from nine-thirty to eleven-thirty the library is yours and the children’s?’
‘That is most generous, my lord.’ Sarah approached the shelves. ‘Is there a good poetry section? I dare say there is little new here...’
‘Oh, I think you may find enough to keep yourselves amused. My uncle may not visit often, but he is a collector of books. You will not find books bought by the yard here. All of them have been read and handled—and there are a few new novels here. I imagine my uncle bought them for his niece.’
‘John told me their last tutor forbade them the use of this room.’
‘Then he exceeded his authority.’ Lord Myers looked annoyed. ‘It seems to me that my uncle has been ill served as regards to his grandchildren. They were neglected, Miss Goodrum. I do not intend that it shall happen again.’
‘John will benefit from your tuition, sir. I hope I may do the same for Francesca.’
‘She admires you.’ His gaze was stern, his sensual mouth set in a hard line. ‘You will not let her down, Miss Goodrum. I shall be watching her progress.’
‘I hope to prove my worth to you.’ Sarah raised her head. ‘Thank you for your generosity.’
‘The library should be available to all.’ His gaze intensified, dwelling on her in a way that sent little shivers down her spine. ‘I am not sure who you are, Miss Goodrum—but I intend to discover the truth.’
‘I am not sure I understand you.’
‘Do you not? Then perhaps I am wrong—but I sense a mystery. If I discover that you are not what you profess to be, I shall be merciless. As I told you before, I do not take kindly to liars.’
Sarah found it difficult to suppress the shiver that ran through her. Had she given herself away already? How could he know that she was