Regency Surrender: Passion And Rebellion. Louise AllenЧитать онлайн книгу.
even thought about it. All that had exercised her mind since the day before had been how to avoid marriage altogether.
He frowned. ‘You do mind. I can tell. Your aunt is right. It is downright selfish of me to deny you all the folderol most brides have. You’ll want a new gown at the least, and shoes.’
‘I...I think I could contrive to get something you won’t be ashamed to see me in, by tomorrow,’ she said.
His face lit up. ‘I’ll pay for it, of course. Send whatever bills you run up to me. Well, I think that’s all settled, then.’
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a sheet of paper. Having scanned it swiftly, he thrust it back, his face flushing. ‘You wouldn’t believe how many things a chap has to remember,’ he said, fishing around in another pocket, from which he produced a second list.
‘No wonder most women insist on having several weeks to organise a wedding. Ah. Yes, thought so,’ he said, thrusting the list back into his pocket. ‘There is just one more thing I do need to discuss with you, before we tie the knot.’
He cleared his throat.
‘This may be a businesslike arrangement, but it won’t be a paper marriage.’
‘I don’t follow.’
‘To be blunt, I need an heir. I’ve thought about this a lot, since...well, since I decided on marriage. And I’ve come to the conclusion we should get that side of things started straight away. I can tell you’re quite a bashful sort of girl and that you might think I ought to give you time to become accustomed to the idea of being married, before I make any demands of that nature. But it’s like this...’
He leaned forward and took hold of both her hands in his. ‘At the moment, we both like each other. Don’t we?’
When she nodded, shyly, he smiled. ‘Now, the sad fact is marriages can turn sour remarkably quickly. I’ve seen it time and time again. If we get to the point where we cannot stand even being in the same room as one another...well, let’s just say attempting to get an heir in those conditions won’t be pleasant. Not for either of us. But at the moment, when we kiss...’
He looked at her mouth. Her lips tingled in remembrance of the kisses they’d shared the day before. And then every other part of her began to tingle, as well.
He was probably right. She’d grown up in a house where husband and wife could barely stand to be in the same room as each other. Whereas now...
Well, it really sounded as though he wouldn’t try to suffocate her. He had at least two houses that she knew of. So they needn’t ever be cooped up in a cramped little cottage, resenting the very air that each breathed. And they weren’t marrying for love, so they couldn’t fall out of it and grow bitter and resentful.
But, oh, she did like kissing him. And now that he’d mentioned it, and was looking at her mouth that way, she wanted him to take her in his arms again, the way he’d done yesterday. And...she blushed, and the rest.
As if he knew the direction of her thoughts, he dropped to his knees in front of her, never letting go of her hands, leaned forward and touched his lips to hers. Just lightly.
Her eyes fluttered shut. She gripped his hands tightly. And she leaned forward, too, this time pressing her lips to his.
In a heartbeat, he’d got his arms round her, she’d put her arms round him and each was kissing the other for all they were worth.
‘Mmnhh...stop,’ he mumbled, pulling away. ‘We have to stop,’ he said, staggering to his feet and backing across the room. ‘Or I won’t be able to. You...’ He drew in a great, ragged breath.
‘My God,’ he said unsteadily. ‘I would never have believed it, but do you know, I’m actually looking forward to my wedding day.’
‘Me, too,’ she admitted, stunned. ‘And I wouldn’t have believed it, either.’
‘See?’ He grinned. ‘We’re perfect for each other.’
To her amusement he then sidled round the edge of the room to the door, as though avoiding a dangerous precipice.
As though she was utterly irresistible.
Just for a moment, she almost believed it herself.
Wedding fever swept through the household. Aunt Pargetter took Mary to a street where there was a whole parade of shops where you could buy clothing ready-made. And not all of it used. And by dint of sitting up well into the night, with as many lamps as they could gather, the four women, working together, had both her gown, and the coat they’d bought to wear over it, altered to fit as though it had been made for her, then trimmings added so that the whole ensemble looked as though it had been designed from the outset instead of bought piecemeal and cobbled together.
She slept surprisingly well considering she was about to take a step she’d once vowed she would never take at all. Even though she’d only met Lord Havelock a matter of days before, the prospect of marrying him didn’t fill her with dread. Every time either Dotty or Lotty rolled over, kicking her in the shins in their sleep, it reminded her of their willingness to make room for her when they had so little of it themselves. And she got a warm glow of satisfaction, knowing that she would soon be in a position to help this family, the only ones who’d shown her any compassion when she’d been at her most desperate.
And help Lord Havelock’s sister, too.
How many men, she sighed, would make the supreme sacrifice of surrendering their bachelor freedom for the sake of a sister? Not her own brother, that was certain. He’d escaped their unhappy household as soon as he could and never looked back. Oh, he’d visited when on shore leave, but during those brief visits their father had been on his best behaviour and Kit had never once looked beneath the surface....
Not that she had begrudged him his career. Not in the light of how it ended....
She turned on to her side, resting her cheek on the palm of her hand. No point dwelling on the failings of a brother who was no more. Besides, she’d much rather dream about her husband-to-be. She smiled into the darkness as she recalled his insistence they get the business of providing an heir to his estates settled quickly, before they went off each other. Some women might have taken his attitude as an insult. She preferred to regard it as eminently practical. And a touch flattering that though he assumed his ardour would cool, he really felt some now. Quite a lot, if that last kiss in the parlour was anything to go by. And the difficulty he had in breaking it off.
Which meant that very soon she would have a baby to hold. Possibly even a couple before he went back to his... Well, a man as energetic and healthy as he was bound to have some arrangement to satisfy that form of appetite. Though even when it got to that stage in their marriage, she was not afraid he would become a cruel, or even an indifferent, parent. The lengths to which he was prepared to go for his sister assured her of that.
* * *
The next morning, when she stood before the mirror, she couldn’t help exclaim in thanks for the Pargetters’ hard work and inventiveness. She’d never looked better dressed.
Oh, if only her mother could see her now. Or her brother...though it wasn’t likely he would have been on leave to walk her down the aisle even if his ship hadn’t gone down with all hands.
For a moment, stark loneliness had tears welling in her eyes. Resolutely she dashed them away. She didn’t want to appear in church with red eyes, as though she was going to the altar like some...sacrificial lamb. Besides, she was gaining a new family today, a husband who didn’t seem as though he had the slightest inclination to browbeat and control her, a sister who would need her and eventually children of her very own to love her.
It was with a pale, but determined face that she left the room she’d shared with her cousins and made her way