A Diamond In The Rough. Catherine MannЧитать онлайн книгу.
all too well the pain Stone was facing, losing his mother figure. “I miss them so much, especially lately.”
He ate silently, letting her find her way through. She wasn’t sure where her thoughts were taking her, but she felt the need to make him understand something she couldn’t quite define herself.
Johanna set her spoon aside. “I know your family is full of good people, open-minded and generous. A part of me didn’t want to show just how vulnerable I felt. Even growing up on the ranch, I was on the periphery as an employee’s child.”
She shook her head, her voice trailing off, and she ate a bite of ice cream to cover her silence. The maple flavor melted over her taste buds.
“Johanna...” He clasped her wrist. “Go ahead. I’m listening.”
Licking the spoon clean, ever aware of his eyes on her mouth, she gathered her words. “It’s strange how you said you felt you weren’t good enough for me.... Learning which fork to use for an occasional meal at the big house is a long way from walking in billionaire circles on a day-to-day basis. Keeping up appearances during our engagement and constantly worrying I would do something to embarrass you was exhausting.”
“You never let it show.” His frown turned to a scowl. “Don’t you think that’s something I would have cared to know? We were engaged to be married, for God’s sake. If we couldn’t tell each other even something basic like that, then what did we even have together?”
“You’re angry?”
“I’m frustrated, yes. All this time I’ve been thinking that I let you down.” He shoved aside his bowl and leaned on his elbows, closing the space between them. “Right now, I’m realizing we let each other down. Except you weren’t interested in shouldering your part of the blame.”
Anger sparked along her already raw nerves. “I open up to you, and now you’re pissed off? That isn’t very fair.”
He sidestepped around the island to stand in front of her. “Nothing about what has happened between us has been fair or we wouldn’t still be hurting this much.”
She swallowed hard, certain to her toes he was about to kiss her and she wouldn’t be able to tell him no. They would pour all those frustrated emotions into passion. It wouldn’t solve anything, but at least they would have an outlet, a release.
Except he turned and left.
Her jaw dropped.
What the hell? Stone had just walked away from her?
She almost leaped from her seat to charge after him and demand he finish the conversation. How dare he just leave? They had unfinished business....
But hadn’t she done the same thing to him? Not only had she run away from him after the picnic, scared she couldn’t resist the temptation to do more than kiss him. But she’d also walked out on their relationship and very publicly, at that. His words settled in her gut along with the sting of guilt. He was right. She’d let him shoulder all the blame for their breakup when she hadn’t given her all to him, either.
The realization echoed hollowly inside her. She gathered both bowls and rinsed them out carefully, wishing her confusion was as easily swirled down the drain. Or that she could just shake off her worries and go to sleep like the three dogs curled up on their beds, snoring. The thought of going to her room alone was more than she could bear tonight after watching all-day family bliss with the Donavans, not just as parents but as a couple.
She yanked a blanket from the back of the sofa and curled up on the couch to count stars instead of sheep.
* * *
Stone woke the next morning with a throbbing headache and an aching erection.
His shower took care of the visible sign of his arousal, but didn’t do much to cool the fire inside him. Walking away from Johanna the night before had been one of the most difficult things he’d ever done. But he’d been too angry, too on edge. He didn’t trust himself and damned if he would ever put her at risk.
So he’d left her alone. He’d worked for hours before falling into a fitful sleep just before sunup.
Tossing his shaving gear into his bag, he was still steamed over his conversation with Johanna last night. He’d spent most of the night reviewing their time together and he kept coming back to how she’d broken up with him at one of his grandmother’s major fund-raisers. That couldn’t be coincidental. If he’d known how she’d felt, he could have done things differently. Hell, he could have—
What? Given up his job and all the responsibilities that came with that? Dismissed his background and offered to give her the family she wanted? Last night he’d learned of yet another reason they weren’t meant to be together.
Who would he be if he didn’t run Diamonds in the Rough?
He tossed his bag on the thick four-poster bed beside a stack of discarded sketches for a new kids’ line with a horse logo. The images just wouldn’t come together on paper the way he saw them in his mind. Visions of a misty-eyed Johanna kept interfering, thoughts of her struggling to hold back tears when he’d held the baby.
Damn it.
He flipped open his suitcase, pulled out a pair of well-worn jeans and tugged them on. One day into this mandated week together and he was already losing his damn mind. He scratched his hands through his wet hair, needing to get his head together.
Barring that, he could at least let the dogs out.
He opened his bedroom door, wondering if Johanna was up yet. He didn’t hear her so he assumed not. The wide-open barn space sprawled in front of him. The dogs sat up, one, two, three—tails wagging, tongues lolling out. They launched off their beds behind the sofa in unison but thank God, not barking. He knelt, petting each to keep them quiet. Then he snapped his fingers to lead them to the door. Walking past the couch, he almost stopped short. Johanna slept on the sofa, wrapped in a quilt, still wearing her sundress from yesterday.
His gaze stayed on her even as he waved the dogs outside, then he turned to face her fully and enjoy a view that far exceeded anything outside. Many nights he’d watched her sleep, her face relaxed, her stubborn chin softened a bit. Her long lashes brushed her sun-kissed cheeks. His body went hard all over again, his jeans more and more uncomfortable. He needed to get himself under control before she woke.
Padding barefoot across the room, he quietly put together the coffeepot. A crystal cake plate and cover displayed a selection of pastries big enough to feed them twice over. He grabbed a bear claw, wishing his other hunger was as easy to satisfy.
As the coffee gurgled the scent of java into the air, he felt the weight of eyes studying him. He already knew. Johanna. The connection that threatened to drive him mad was alive and well.
He pulled two stoneware mugs off the hooks under the cabinets. “Sorry I woke you.”
A rustle from the sofa sounded, and her reflection came to life in the window pane over the sink.
“It’s okay. I was just catnapping anyway.” Johanna stretched her arms over her head. “It was tough to sleep after we argued.”
“That wasn’t an argument. I consider that a very revealing discussion we should have had a long time ago.” He poured coffee into both mugs. Black. They both drank it the same way, strong and undiluted by sugar or cream. The only thing it seemed they still had in common. He picked up both and walked toward her.
“What would talking about my insecurities have changed?” Her bare toes curled against the rustic braid rug. “Do you think our breakup would have hurt any less? I can’t imagine how.”
“True enough.” He passed her a mug, wishing he could find a way to be with her without tearing them both apart. “Truce?”
She took the mug, wrapping both hands around the mug, brushing his fingers. The ever-ready attraction crackled. He saw it echoed in her eyes, along with wariness.
“Truce,”