The Dare Collection: March 2018. Nicola MarshЧитать онлайн книгу.
said, straightening a little so I had no option but to pull out and take care of business.
‘We shouldn’t have done that.’
I knew it had been the wrong thing to say when her face fell, but she masked it quickly with a fake smile I was growing to hate.
‘Seems like we shouldn’t do a lot of things that are bad for us, like eating leftover croissants, but we do it anyway.’
She sounded flippant but I heard the hurt lacing her words.
Damn, I’d done it again. Caused her pain when it was never my intention.
‘Look, we need to talk this out—’
‘From where I’m standing, there wasn’t much talking involved, just the way I wanted it.’ She pulled up her pants and zipped up, elegant and nonchalant, whereas I felt gauche doing the same thing. ‘We don’t need to talk about anything.’
She spun away from me and I grabbed her hand, tugging her back to face me. ‘I’ve handled this badly and I’m sorry. But we do have to work this out, Abby, otherwise it’s going to be a tough few weeks.’
To her credit, she eyeballed me, trying to stare me down. ‘What are you really sorry for? Being a douche the whole day or not being able to keep your hands off me?’
She packed a punch. I liked that. Liked straight shooting.
‘Both.’
To my relief, I saw the corners of her mouth twitch. A mouth I remembered doing wicked things to me a few nights ago and just like that I was hard again, ready and raring to go.
‘You don’t have to apologise for the...sex.’ Damn, she was cute when she blushed. ‘I like it. In fact, I think we should keep doing it.’
‘Pardon me?’
I could’ve sworn she’d just said we should keep having sex. Nice in practice, terrible in theory.
‘A fling. Short term. No strings.’ She eased her hand out of mine before I could react. ‘It’ll be good for me. Purging my past once and for all.’
Bitterness made my jaw clench. So that was all I was. A fuckable solution to her yearlong celibacy. A way to get back on the proverbial horse. I should be flattered. Instead, all I could think was how I’d never been good enough growing up and I wasn’t good enough now for anything more than a short-term fling.
Every guy’s dream, having a woman articulate no-strings sex. In reality, how often did it turn out that way? Women tended to want more. More emotion. More commitment. More.
But Abby seemed different. She hadn’t been mooning around all day. She’d been nonchalant. All business. Like she didn’t give a shit I’d been a grouchy ogre determined to keep her at bay.
So maybe she meant it when she said a no-strings fling. I should be ecstatic. Instead, I couldn’t help but feel like yet again I’d come up short somehow. A hollow, empty feeling I’d spent years trying to conquer courtesy of dear old Dad’s shabby treatment.
‘So I’d be your walk on the wild side? Slumming it before you head back to the real world?’
Guilt shifted in her gaze before she shook her head. ‘We’re very different, so, yeah, part of the appeal is that bad-boy edge you’ve got going on. But I like you.’ Her blush was back, staining her cheeks a vivid pink. ‘I never knew sex could be that good, so call me greedy but I want more.’
Defiant, she took a step towards me and placed her hand on my chest. ‘A lot more.’
I gritted my teeth against the urge to bend her over the table again. ‘Just sex. No muss, no fuss?’
‘I’m not a muss, fuss kind of girl.’ She lowered her hand, using it to gesture around the storeroom. ‘This place is my life. I want to complete my apprenticeship, become fully qualified, gain as much experience as I can with your brother, save like the devil and hopefully have my own patisserie one day. So you and me? A side benefit I’d never anticipated, but no way would I let it interfere with my dream.’
‘Fair enough.’
She’d said all the right things. Talked the talk. But when it came to ending things, would she walk the walk?
‘What about Remy?’
Confusion creased her brow. ‘What about him?’
‘My brother will bust my balls for tangling with you.’
‘Does he have to know?’
‘We don’t bullshit each other. He’s always had my back and I owe him.’
Damn, why had I spilled that? I should keep my distance. Sex, I could handle, but there was something about Abby that snuck beneath my defences and made me want to confide. Disconcerting when I’d never told anyone the truth, not even Remy.
Another side effect of putting up with Dad’s shit for so long: I was ashamed. Ashamed of who I was around him, ashamed of the years I’d tolerated his crap, ashamed at the possibility of anyone ever finding out how much of a goddamn coward I’d been.
‘I admire your loyalty.’ She tilted her head, studying me with that penetrating stare that made me squirm a little. ‘Family should stick together.’
The slight quiver in her voice, underlined with a healthy dose of vulnerability, slayed me. ‘What about you? Any siblings?’
‘No.’
One syllable laced with unspoken pain.
‘Hence my parents’ high expectations of me. Which also explains why they cut me off the first and only time I went against their wishes.’ Her harsh laugh was devoid of amusement. ‘Didn’t matter that I didn’t want a princess party as a ten-year-old. Or a formal ball for my sixteenth. Or to do a business degree.’ Her breath hitched. ‘Or to marry a guy more a friend at twenty-one. I always did the right thing. The expected thing. Until I walked away.’
She cleared her throat. ‘I envy you your bond with Remy.’
‘Don’t ever envy me,’ I said, sounding gruff. ‘Remy and I are close from necessity.’
Curiosity sparked her eyes. ‘What does that mean?’
Shit. There I went again, giving away too much.
‘Nothing.’ I made a big show of glancing at my watch. ‘We need to get back out there.’
Other women would’ve badgered me for answers. Thankfully, Abby had more class. Or she really was serious about keeping things between us strictly physical.
‘You’re right.’ She hesitated, a shy smile making something in my chest twang. ‘After we finish work, do you want to come up to my apartment? I make a mean fettuccini carbonara.’
I should say no. Because Abby wasn’t just inviting me up for pasta and we both knew it. But she’d been honest in asking for what she wanted, blunt in outlining the terms. Considering how much of a jackass I’d been today, dealing with my rampaging lust for her and not being able to have her, I’d be better off agreeing to her very adult arrangement than having another few frustration-filled weeks.
‘I am partial to pasta.’ I stepped in close and rested my hand on her waist, my thumb strumming the sliver of bare skin beneath her pants and shirt. ‘And you.’
‘Good. Glad that’s settled.’ She kissed me on the cheek, a surprisingly sweet gesture that made my chest tighten again.
But as I unlocked the door and followed her back to the kitchen, I knew deep down that things between us were far from settled.
It scared the crap out of me.
Abby