The Complete Regency Season Collection. Кэрол МортимерЧитать онлайн книгу.
had seen the angry spark in Georgianna’s eyes, had noted the lifting of her gloved hand and guessed her intent. He’d made no attempt to avoid the painful slap she administered to the side of his face. Knowing he deserved it. That he deserved so much more than a single slap.
So, yes, let Georgianna slap him. Again and again, if that was her wish. Zachary would neither protest nor attempt to stop her.
‘You are truly despicable!’ Georgianna now glared across the width of the carriage at him. ‘A despicable, unprincipled bastard! Oh, yes, Hawksmere,’ she declared scornfully as he raised surprised dark brows. ‘I assure you, I heard far worse than that during my months of working in Helene Rousseau’s tavern. And you—you deserve to hear every one of those words for the way in which you have deceived me.’ She blinked back the tears as they now blurred her vision of the arrogantly superior face across from her own.
‘Perhaps we should take them as having already been said?’ Zachary excused himself gruffly.
She gave an impatient shake of her head, her hands clenched together. ‘I have spent months in despair of ever being able to see or speak to my brother again. Of ever seeing my home again. Of knowing that all in English society shunned me. This past few days of believing I would never be able to visit my father’s graveside and beg his forgiveness. A despair which you might have spared me, if you had a mind to do so. If you had a heart with which to do so. Which you so obviously do not,’ she added coldly.
Zachary had no defence against Georgianna’s accusations. He knew he was guilty of everything she now accused him of. Except perhaps the latter.
It was true he had offered for Lady Georgianna Lancaster ten months ago because he needed a wife and an heir before his thirty-fifth birthday. It was true also that he had been more annoyed than concerned at the inconvenience when she had eloped with another man. As he had no doubt also agreed with Malvern’s solution to that problem, as a way of saving himself deeper humiliation, as much as he had Georgianna’s reputation.
But he had not really known Georgianna at that time. Had seen only that plump pigeon, whom he’d decided would make him a suitable and undemanding wife, and a mother for his heirs.
The Georgianna with whom he had spent so many hours these past two days was not only a beautiful woman, but one for whom he knew he had felt a grudging admiration even before she had revealed the extent of the scars she bore, as evidence of Rousseau’s betrayal of her.
She was also a woman for whom Zachary felt desire every time he so much as looked at her.
Even now, with her looking across at him with such contempt, Zachary was aware that his body pulsed with that same desire beneath his pantaloons.
Perhaps not as proof that he did indeed possess a heart, but enough so that Zachary knew he felt regret for the wide chasm that now yawned between the two of them. Fuelled by the dislike and contempt Georgianna now felt towards him.
His expression was grim as he nodded abruptly. ‘I deserve each and every one of your accusations.’
She eyed him scathingly. ‘That was never in any doubt.’
‘No.’
Georgianna frowned her frustration with the calmness of Hawksmere’s acceptance of her anger. What she really wanted was for him to mock or taunt her, as he usually did, so that she might have the satisfaction of slapping him again.
At the same time she felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She could see her brother Jeffrey again. Could go to Malvern Hall and visit her father’s graveside and offer him her apologies for her behaviour the previous year. Could return to Malvern House if she wished. Take part in the upcoming Season, too, if that was what she decided to do.
Not that she intended telling Hawksmere of any of the lightness and elation she felt; his contemptuous behaviour towards her this past two days did not deserve to be forgiven, or forgotten, so easily.
At the same time as Georgianna knew she could never forget his lovemaking of earlier this morning.
Having believed her to have been André’s mistress for several weeks, at least, Georgianna might have expected Zachary to show contempt for her during their lovemaking. Instead he had been poetical in his appreciation of her body. Giving, even gentle, in his caresses, as he introduced her to a pleasure she had never imagined, let alone experienced.
But beneath all of that appreciation and gentleness Zachary had been keeping the secret that she was not in disgrace, after all, Georgianna reminded herself, impatient with the softening of her emotions towards him. Which surely must make him every inch that bastard she had just called him?
‘Again, I owe you my heartfelt apologies, Georgianna.’
She looked sharply across at him, unsure what he was apologising for. For not telling her before now that she was not in disgrace in society? Or for the intimacies of this morning?
Zachary sighed heavily as Georgianna made no response to his apology. ‘Except, of course, I do not possess a heart,’ he acknowledged evenly. ‘In which case, I will instead offer you my sincerest apologies. For having wronged you and hurt you these past two days.’
Deliberately. And without remorse. Each word was like the lash of the whip across the flesh on his back.
Georgianna looked across at him uncertainly. ‘And is that supposed to excuse your behaviour?’
‘No,’ Zachary answered heavily.
‘To make you feel better, perhaps?’ she added scornfully.
He gave a humourless smile. ‘If it was, then I assure you it has failed miserably.’
She raised haughty brows. ‘I trust you will understand when I say that I am glad of that?’
How could he have ever thought this young woman was just a plump and malleable pigeon to be taken to the altar, impregnated, and then left forgotten and languishing on one of his country estates?
Even without her terrible experiences of this past year, he very much doubted that Georgianna would ever have been that malleable wife he had deliberately sought, and expected. If he had taken the time and trouble to get to know her, then he would have realised she possessed far too much spirit, was too emotional, to have ever settled for just being his ignored duchess and the mother of his heirs.
A spirit that was now denied him for ever.
Georgianna, quite rightly, would never forgive him for having deceived her. For deliberately allowing her to think she was still in disgrace. For imprisoning her. For making love to her.
‘I understand, and completely accept, the anger you feel towards me.’ He nodded abruptly just as the carriage drew to a halt outside Malvern House. ‘Would you like me to come in with you or would you prefer to reconcile with your brother alone?’
Georgianna felt extremely nervous now that they had actually arrived at Malvern House, the same house she had always lived in whilst in London. The house where her brother Jeffrey now awaited her.
Her brother would be nineteen now and already he had been the Earl of Malvern this past nine months. Without benefit of even his sister to support him, with only that guardian, an elderly friend of her father’s, to guide and help him.
‘Georgianna!’
She was given no more time for those regrets, or the insecurity of wondering if Jeffrey really would be pleased by her return, as the carriage door was flung open and her brother himself hurtled inside the carriage before pulling her into his arms.
Georgianna gave a sob as she clung to Jeffrey, totally overwhelmed by the eagerness of his greeting, and being with someone she loved and who obviously still loved her. It had been so long since anyone had held her so tenderly, so unconditionally. Hawksmere’s lovemaking did not count when she knew his motive had been revenge for her past misdemeanours towards him.
Zachary felt the unaccustomed sting of tears in his own eyes as he witnessed the emotional