Welcome to Mills & Boon. Jennifer RaeЧитать онлайн книгу.
all along,” I said. “I should have listened to you when you tried to tell me. Love is a suckers’ game.” I looked away. “The only way to win is not to play.”
He took a single staggering step back from me. Then, with a deep breath, he held himself still. As if he were trying to hold himself back from—from what?
Clenching his hands at his sides, Edward came and sat beside me, on the other end of the bench, careful not to touch me.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I never wanted you to learn that from me.”
“You helped me out. Made me grow up.”
“Let me tell you something else now.” Sunlight brushed his dark blue eyes, and I saw the depths, like a brilliant sparkling light illuminating the deepest, darkest ocean. “I never should have let you go.”
My lips parted. I stared up at him in shock.
He gave me a sudden crooked smile. “From the moment you left, I knew I’d made the greatest mistake of my life. In fact,” he said in a low voice, “it was no life at all.” He leaned forward. “I came to California to try to win you back.”
I stared at him, stricken.
I could hardly believe Edward was sitting in my mother’s garden in Beverly Hills. Sitting beside me on the marble bench Howard had given her one year for Mother’s Day.
“You want me back?” I breathed.
He nodded. “More than anything.”
We all create our own garden, Mom used to say. Gardening was a lot like life, in her opinion. Sure, plants depended on sun and soil, but the most important thing was the gardener. What choices did she make? Did she hack off roses with a dull blade? Did she overwater the ivy? Did she let wisteria grow wild, until it overran the walls, blocking all light in an insurmountable thicket of twisted vine? The garden you had showed the choices you’d made. What you’d done with the hand nature dealt you.
Now, Edward was offering me a choice I never imagined I’d have. He wanted me back?
I thought of the months of anguish I’d endured after London. He’d nearly destroyed me. I couldn’t live through another broken heart. I couldn’t.
My shoulders tightened. No. I lifted my chin. I’d finally stopped loving him. It was going to stay that way.
“We all make choices we have to live with,” I said quietly. My eyes glittered as I looked at him. “I’ve moved on. So should you.”
“Have you?” He straightened on the bench. And his jaw tightened. “You seem to forget one thing. I’m the baby’s father. I have rights.”
I stiffened. He was threatening me now?
“So it’s like that, is it?”
He took a deep breath. “I don’t want to fight you, Diana. It’s the last thing I want. I came here to tell you I was wrong.”
“Funny.” Turning away, I gave a hard laugh. “Because I’ve decided you were right, ending our affair like you did. A long-term relationship just brings pain. Friends with benefits—that’s the only way to go.”
“Is that what you have with Jason?” he said roughly.
I shrugged. “More or less.”
“Well, which is it? More—or less?”
“More friendship, less benefits.”
“How much less?”
Gritting my teeth, I grudgingly admitted, “None.”
He relaxed slightly. He leaned forward. “Diana, don’t you want our child to have what you had—two parents? A real home?”
“Sure.” I shrugged. “In a perfect world...”
“She can have it. All you have to do is say yes.”
I lifted my chin. “What are you asking me, exactly?”
“I’m asking you, you little fool,” his eyes glittered, “to marry me.”
I was dreaming. I sat in shock beside him on the cool marble bench. Above the palm trees, I heard the birds singing as they crossed the blue sky. A soft summer wind blew through the flowers, causing the scent of roses to waft over me like an embrace. The only sound was the bluebirds, and a hummingbird and the lazy buzzing of the bees in the dappled sunlight.
“What did you say?” I whispered.
Edward stared down at me, his dark eyes intense. “I want to marry you.”
I drew back.
“I don’t understand.” I put a hand to my head, feeling dizzy. “Everything you said in London—you swore you’d never want a wife or child—”
“It’s all changed.”
“Why?”
“You’re pregnant with my child.” He looked at me. “And I want you, Diana. I’ve never stopped wanting you. From the moment you left, I’ve hungered only for you.”
I gave an awkward laugh. “You’ve had other lovers....”
“No.”
My jaw dropped. “It’s been four months!”
“I only want you,” he said simply.
My heart was pounding. I tried desperately to bring it under control. “You didn’t come to California because you wanted me.” I lifted my chin. “You only came when you found out I was pregnant.”
He clawed back his hair. “I was waiting for you to call me. I thought you would.”
I looked at him in disbelief. “You thought I would call you—after what you said to me?”
“Women always try to win me back.” A rueful smile curved his lips. “But not you.”
I took a deep breath, remembering what it had cost me. I’d felt so alone and heartsick when I’d returned to California. For weeks, I’d cried myself to sleep—then was tormented in dreams, as hot memories of our nights together forced themselves upon me when I was sleeping and helpless to fight them.
“Your pregnancy just gave me the reason to come find you. It forced me to do what I’d been afraid to do. To ask you,” he said, lifting his gaze to mine, “to come back to me.”
Against my will, a shiver rose from deep inside me. A shiver deeper than fury and stronger than pride.
I stubbornly shook my head.
“I want you,” Edward said, his handsome face intent on mine, making me tremble with sensual memories. His gaze fell to my lips. “I need you, Diana.”
“Just missing sex...” My voice came out a croak. I cleared my throat. “That isn’t a good enough reason to marry someone.”
“I don’t want to marry you for sex.” He sat up straight on the park bench, and I was reminded of how powerful his body was, how much larger than mine. “I want us to be wed. So our child can have a childhood like yours. Not a childhood like mine.”
I swallowed, remembering his loneliness then, how his mother had abandoned him when he was ten, and his father had ignored him, except when he could be used as a weapon against his ex-wife. Even the beloved gardener who’d taught him to fish had abruptly left. Boarding school at twelve. A horrible cousin. An empty castle. With only a paid housekeeper to care. That was Edward’s childhood.
“You don’t need to worry.” I briefly touched his shoulder. “Our baby will always be safe and loved.” I cradled my hands over my belly. “I promise you.”
“I know.” His eyes met mine. “Because I’ll be there.”
I glared at him. “Edward—”