Marriage Without Love. Penny JordanЧитать онлайн книгу.
means of punishing herself for being so easily taken in by Kieron, she forced herself to accept it.
When he had been born, after a night of pain and anguish, she had not even wanted to look at him, but the midwife, experienced in the ways and mysteries of birth, had placed him in her arms, and from that moment she had been lost.
God had seen fit to grant her the gift of life, the midwife had said softly, and Briony had held to that thought in the long lonely months which followed.
Since then it had afforded her some slight satisfaction to know that Kieron had been deprived of this child, who must surely be the most perfect being ever created. It hadn’t been easy trying to bring him up single-handed, continually torn by the desire to be with him, gloating over every tiny step forward, and the need to earn sufficient money to safeguard their future.
Until recently he had accepted quite readily the fact that he only had a ‘mummy’, but as Gina had said, he was quick and intelligent, and it would not be long before he was questioning why he did not have a father.
It would not make any difference, she assured herself firmly; she would give him everything that two parents could, and never, never would he be allowed to know how callous had been his conception.
She watched him while he slept, wondering what little-boy dreams he dreamed, her forehead puckered in a faint frown as she contemplated the future.
Briony glanced at her watch and grimaced. Nicky was being unusually fractious this morning, and she wondered if he had caught her own tense mood. He had played naughtily with his breakfast, something he never normally did, his mouth sulky and pouting when she scolded him.
‘Don’t go to work, Mummy,’ he pleaded tearfully. ‘Stay with me!’
‘You know I have to go, Nicky,’ she reminded him gently, ‘but tomorrow’s Friday, and then after that Mummy will be at home with you for two whole days. Perhaps we’ll go somewhere nice, if you’re a good boy for Gina.’
‘Where nice?’ he breathed, tears forgotten. ‘To the Zoo to see the bears?’
‘Maybe. Finish your egg, there’s a good boy.’
His recalcitrance had made her late, and although she ran all the way down the bottom of the avenue, she was just in time to see her bus go sailing past. Groaning, she pressed a hand to her side to stifle the aching stitch. She was going to be late, and there was nothing she could do about it, so she might as well make up her mind to accept the fact. Although she frequently worked late, she hated being late in the morning, but Doug would understand. Not that he knew about Nicky. No one at the office had the slightest inkling that she had a child, and that was the way she wanted it to stay. Employers were wary of young women without husbands and with babies to bring up, and she had always needed her job too much to risk it. Besides, she didn’t want people talking about her behind her back, speculating about the identity of Nicky’s father, and now with Kieron Blake working on the paper she was glad she had kept silent. He hadn’t even asked her why she had changed her name, she thought bitterly—although she had not changed it entirely. Her name had been Elisabeth Briony and all she had done had been to drop her first name and change her surname for her mother’s maiden name. But then no doubt he had no need to ask. He must have followed the details in the papers—and there had been plenty. He must have known the ordéal she had endured; the shock she had sustained on learning that the man she had thought of as her tender, caring lover, ready to protect her from everything, was in fact a hardbitten journalist in search of a story, and ready to do anything to get it.
It was ten past nine when she walked into her office. She removed her jacket with a sigh.
‘So. You’ve arrived, have you?’
She swung round, eyes widening at the silky drawl, her heart jerking as though it were on strings.
‘You’re damn near ten minutes late,’ Kieron rapped out. ‘Is this morning an exception, or am I to prepare myself for your tardy arrival every day?’
He was just trying to goad her, she told herself. After Doug’s praise and recommendation he could hardly just fire her, and so he would have to find some other means of ridding himself of her. She almost laughed aloud at the irony of it. He couldn’t have been very pleased to discover that the one person in the world who knew exactly what kind of man he was would be his new secretary.
‘I’m sorry I’m late,’ she apologised coldly, picking up the post from her desk. ‘I’ll just go through this and then I’ll be right with you.’
He let her get to her chair before he spoke, his voice like a whip as he drawled sarcastically,
‘Hey, lady, just where the hell do you think you’re going with that stuff? Nobody puts me down like that. And I’m perfectly capable of going through my own mail. No doubt Doug relied heavily on you for such assistance, but I don’t need it. Get it?’
She handed him the mail with a cool, composed smile and an expressionless,
‘Yes, Mr Blake. Where is Doug, by the way?’ she enquired. It wasn’t like her boss not to be in the office early.
‘Making his goodbyes, I believe,’ Kieron told her laconically. ‘Today’s his last day.…’
‘Oh, but I thought.…’ The words rose unchecked to her lips, silenced as he perched on the end of her desk and swivelled round to study her.
‘You thought what? That I’d need him to nursemaid me for longer?’ He shook his head decisively. ‘This kitchen only needs one cook—me. Much as I like and respect Doug I don’t need him standing at my elbow overseeing everything I do. And I’m sure he would feel the same in my shoes.’
Briony knew that he would, but it didn’t stop her saying acidly, ‘It didn’t take you very long, did it? First you try to get rid of his secretary and then you want to get rid of him.’
‘Doug said to remind you that he expects you to be with the others at the pub tonight for the celebrations,’ Kieron told her casually. ‘I believe your boy-friend will be there.’
It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him that she didn’t have any boy-friends, and then she realised that he meant Matt.
‘I shan’t be going,’ she said shortly. She hadn’t come dressed for partying, although her slim cream skirt and pretty floral blouse were perfectly suitable for a comradely drink, and neither had she warned Gina that she would be late. She had assumed that Doug would postpone any celebrations until Friday, but she was totally unprepared for the icy disdain in Kieron’s eyes as he said coldly:
‘You take pleasure in spoiling other people’s fun, don’t you, Briony? Briony—what made you chose that name? I can see why you had to get rid of the “Beth”. Far too sweet and simple for such an Amazon as you’ve become. What thoughts run through that cold little brain, I wonder? Can’t you even permit yourself to become human for just as long as it takes to speed Doug cheerfully on his way?’
‘You have no right to talk to me like this!’ She was trembling with mingled fear and anger. It was as though the scales had dropped from her eyes and she was seeing him properly for the first time, not as her childish adoration had painted him. How could she ever have thought of this man as a tender lover, or a gentle protector? He was a predator; a hunter who killed and maimed, an outlaw from society’s rules.
The door opened and Doug walked in, his sharp eyes going from Kieron to herself.
‘How about a cup of coffee, love?’ he suggested to Briony, adding to Kieron, ‘Briony’s a marvel. Until she came I had to make do with the canteen rubbish, but now we have properly made, freshly brewed coffee every morning. Better treatment than you got in the States, I’ll bet.’
‘Over there they have machines—less time-wasting. What happens if Briony is ever off? Do you use the pool, or.…’
Briony stiffened instinctively forcing herself not to look at him. He was trying to discover if there was any other secretary he could