Forbidden Nights With A Viking. Michelle WillinghamЧитать онлайн книгу.
coughed, and he held her, rubbing her back as she regained awareness.
‘Where am I?’
‘On board your brothers’ ship,’ he responded. ‘We’re waiting for them to join us.’ Her arms came up around his neck, and when she embraced him, he gripped her hard.
‘You came for me,’ she whispered. ‘I thought I was going to die.’ She drew back, her dark blue eyes meeting his. ‘And all I could think was that I never told you.’ Her voice was soft, as if holding secrets.
‘Never told me what?’ But he knew before she said a word. Her heart lay in those eyes, and in her, he saw the offering.
A faltering smile crossed her face. ‘I’m such a fool, Styr. You made me so angry at Ivar’s house. He could have given me anything. And yet, I let myself fall in love with a man I can’t have.’ She touched his cheek, the sadness filling up her countenance. ‘I’m sorry. But I needed you to know.’
He didn’t know what to say. Her words should have provoked a sense of guilt. Instead, he saw her love for what it was—a gift.
‘I know you will return to your wife,’ she said. ‘I know you love her and not me. But when I was about to die, I wished I had said it sooner.’
He lifted her hand to his mouth in a silent kiss. There were no words to tell her that he did care, far more than he should. When he’d watched the Dane trying to kill her, the raw fear had struck him down. He couldn’t let it happen.
‘You honour me,’ was all he could say.
He kept her in his arms, not revealing his own troubled spirits. Her affection was a kindness he’d never expected, and for a moment, he let himself dream of what his life would have been, had he wed a woman like Caragh.
‘Will you allow me a boon?’ she said, when she caught sight of her brothers approaching.
He nodded his assent, not asking what it was. But when her hands moved to either side of his face, he guessed what she wanted. Violet eyes watched him with a longing that stole his breath away. And when she brought his face down to hers, he didn’t stop himself from kissing her back.
She was a beautiful woman, loving and warm-hearted. Yet, he knew this was a kiss goodbye.
He wasn’t prepared for the rush of heat that filled up the empty crevices of his heart. Her tongue touched his, and the kiss shifted from a farewell into a carnal response that staggered him.
Elena’s kisses had been good, but none of them had made him feel such a visceral need. He didn’t understand why Caragh’s touch affected him in such a way, but he didn’t stop it from happening. For it felt right to kiss her, to be with her.
‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered against his mouth, when she pulled away. ‘But after what happened this day, I needed you. Just for a moment.’
He saw the looks on the faces of her brothers. They’d seen him kissing Caragh, and Terence’s expression tightened with dissatisfaction. The rest of his men arrived on board the boat, and they, too, eyed him with suspicion.
Ronan gave the orders to pull up the anchor and untie the boat from its moorings. The men took their places at the oars and began to row, while in the distance, the fires burned through the city.
Styr continued rowing alongside the men, and Terence came to sit by him. ‘We’re taking you to your ship, Lochlannach. You’ll take your men and go.’
And leave our sister alone, were the unspoken words.
Styr said nothing but only continued to row. Caragh borrowed a cloak from her brothers and was sitting at the side of the boat.
It wasn’t long before he saw the outline of his vessel. The bronze weathervane marked it as his, and only a few of the Danes remained on board. Styr gave the order for his men to release arrows, and within moments, the ship was theirs again.
It had grown so dark, they needed torches to see clearly, but his men took their positions at the oars. Styr took the rudder and the Irishmen removed their ropes, releasing his ship.
‘Thank you for looking after our sister,’ Ronan said. ‘But we’ll take her home now.’
‘Safe journey to you,’ Styr bade them. He searched for a glimpse of Caragh, but in the darkness, he could no longer see the far side of the boat where she’d been sitting. It seemed she had already voiced her farewell, and he’d not see her again.
It was likely for the best. At the moment, he needed to get his ship out to the open sea where they could open the sails and gain speed. The night was clear, and the full moon was bright. It would take many hours to reach the place of the green island. If the moonlight illuminated the shore, it was possible that they could make camp at the site where Elena and Ragnar had disappeared.
Gods, but he was grateful to be back on board his own ship. His men began to row, using their strength to move the boat across the waves.
When Styr took his place at the side rudder, he spied a lone figure, huddled within a cloak.
And he knew.
Tearing off the cloak, he saw Caragh’s dark hair. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ His mind spun with the realisation that her brothers would think he’d stolen her. He needed to take her back, and—
‘Coming with you.’ She stood aboard the ship and reached for one of the torches. Holding it, she stood across from her brothers’ boat, lifting her hand to them. ‘And now they know that this was my choice.’
‘They’ll come after you.’
She shook her head. ‘No. I spoke with Brendan. He knew what I planned to do.’
‘Why?’ he demanded, taking the torch from her and returning it to the iron sconce. ‘You have no place with us.’
‘Don’t I?’ She regarded him steadily, taking a seat near the rudder. ‘All my life, I’ve done what others told me to do. I obeyed my parents and my brothers. I stayed at home and did what I could to take care of Brendan. I’ve never done anything that I wanted to do. Not until now.’
She lowered her voice so that only he could hear her. ‘You kissed me back.’
‘Yes.’ He offered no excuses for it, but there were none to give.
‘I just wanted to stay with you, until the end,’ she whispered.
And then, he understood. She needed to know if Elena was alive, to know whether or not he would return to his wife. But more, she wanted to know whether he felt any love for her at all.
His chest tightened, holding back the words of dishonour. Caragh’s bright spirit and her fascination with new experiences and places made it easy to enjoy her presence. Around her, he could be himself. He didn’t have to think about the way she wanted him to act or whether or not the moon was in the correct phase to have a child.
He could simply be.
‘Stay,’ he said. He refused to think of the implications, or worry about what the morning would bring if he found Elena. But the thought of finding his wife no longer brought a sense of relief or joy. It was an obligation he had to fulfil.
The thought of living with her, sensing her disappointment in his inability to give her a child…made him wary. He knew the truth of his marriage. It had reached the breaking point, and he didn’t know what he wanted any more. Elena hadn’t been happy in years.
But if he ended their union, she had another choice. She could find another man to marry, and perhaps have the baby she wanted. He didn’t have to imprison her in a marriage filled with resentment and lost hopes.
He could set both of them free. All he had to do was speak the words of divorce in the presence of witnesses.
And Thor’s blood, it tempted him. He closed his eyes for a moment, breathing in her scent. Wishing