New Year, New Man. Laura IdingЧитать онлайн книгу.
of you to be in the family room, offering drinks and making conversation. Instead, you were upstairs in your bedroom, having sex with that obsequious boyfriend of yours. I would have thought you had more pride, and a better sense of decorum.’
Her cheeks went bright red. ‘Derek is not obsequious. And I was not having sex with him.’
Nick’s laugh was both cold and contemptuous. ‘Your appearance rather contradicts that.’
Her mouth fell open, then snapped shut. ‘What Derek and I do in the privacy of my room is none of your business. Just as it’s none of my business what you’ll be doing with Chloe tonight in your bedroom. We’re both adults now, Nick. I’ve been an adult for quite some time, in case you haven’t noticed. In six weeks’ time, I’ll be twenty-five and you’ll no longer have any say in my life whatsoever. I will be able to do whatever I like in this house because you won’t be in it!’
‘And no one will be more pleased than me,’ he threw back at her, his frustration making him reckless. ‘Do you think I’ve enjoyed being your bloody guardian? Do you think it’s been fun, trying to keep you safe from all the sleazebags? Do you have any idea how hard it’s been for me, keeping my own hands off you?’
There! He’d said it. It was out in the open now. His dark secret, his guilty obsession.
Nick hated the shock in her face. But it was a relief, in a way.
‘You never guessed?’ he said, his soul suddenly weary.
She shook her head. ‘You…you never said anything.’
Nick’s smile was wry. ‘I owed it to Ray to do what he asked me to do.’
‘He asked you to keep away from me?’
‘He asked me to protect you from the scoundrels of this world.’
If anything, this statement shocked her more than his admitting his desire.
‘But you’re not a scoundrel!’
‘Trust me, Sarah. I’m a scoundrel of the first order. Always was. Always will be. Believe me, if you were any other man’s daughter I would have seduced you when I had the chance. Because I did have a chance with you, didn’t I? When you were sixteen.’
‘You mean when I kissed you that time? You actually wanted me back then?’
‘That’s putting it mildly. Don’t imagine for a single moment that I was worried about your age. Such things have never mattered to me. I just couldn’t bear the thought that the one man in the world whom I liked and respected might look at me with disgust. Ray’s words of praise and acceptance meant more to me than my intense but inconvenient desire for you.’
‘I…I see…’
Nick doubted it. How could someone as basically sweet and naïve as Sarah understand the dark and damaged undercurrents of his character?
‘Go on. Go back to your Derek,’ he commanded.
‘He…he’s not my Derek.’
‘What? What do you mean by that?’
‘Derek’s not my lover. He’s just a friend. He’s also gay.’
‘Gay!’ Nick repeated, his mind whirling as he tried to make sense of Sarah’s confession.
‘You’ve just been brutally honest with me, so I’m going to be brutally honest with you. I brought Derek to today’s lunch so that I wouldn’t be alone. And hopefully, to make you jealous.’
Nick stared at her.
Sarah looked as if she was about to cry. ‘I’ve had a crush on you for as long as I can remember,’ she blurted out.
Nick grimaced. He hated that word, crush. It sound so schoolgirlish. Of course, Sarah was still very young, compared to him. He’d been old from the time he was thirteen.
‘You still have a chance with me, Nick,’ she went on, her green eyes glistening. ‘If you want it…’
If he wanted it. Dear God, if she only knew.
But what he wanted bore no resemblance to what she wanted.
‘I’m no good for you, Sarah,’ he bit out, surprising himself that he could find the will-power to resist what she was foolishly offering him.
‘Why not?’ she demanded to know.
‘You know why not. I hid nothing from you when you were a youngster. I told you more than once: I can’t fall in love.’
‘I’m not asking you to.’
He glowered at her. ‘Don’t you dare lower yourself in that fashion. Don’t you dare! I know you, Sarah. You want love and marriage and children. You do not want some decadent affair with a man of little conscience and even less moral fibre.’
‘So you’re knocking me back again. Is that the bottom line?’
‘I already have a girlfriend,’ he said coldly. ‘I don’t need you.’
The hurt in her eyes showed Nick that he’d done the right thing. Sarah’s crush would have deepened into love if he slept with her. It had happened to him before, which was why he always stuck to partners like Chloe these days.
But that didn’t mean he felt good about rejecting Sarah. His body was already regretting it.
‘You’ll find Mr Right one day,’ he said stiffly.
‘Oh, don’t be so bloody pompous,’ she snapped at him. ‘If I wanted Mr Right, do you think I’d have just propositioned you? But that’s all right, there are plenty of other good-looking studs around. Once I inherit all Daddy’s lovely money, I don’t think I’ll be wanting for lovers, do you? Now I’m going to go eat my Christmas lunch. You can please yourself with what you do!’
‘DOES that face mean good news or bad news?’ Derek asked after Sarah had dragged the chair out next to him, and plonked herself down.
‘Don’t talk to me just yet. I’m so mad I could spit.’
‘Oooh. I wish I’d been a fly on the wall. Here, have some wine. It’s a very good Chardonnay from the Hunter Valley.’
‘I don’t give a damn what it is as long as it’s alcohol.’
Sarah lifted the glass to her lips and swallowed deep and hard.
‘I hope you like seafood,’ Derek said, indicating the plateful he’d collected for her.
‘At this point in time, I like anything which is edible. And drinkable!’
Sarah could still hardly believe what had just happened. Her fantasy man had confessed that he fancied her. Had claimed he’d fancied her way back when she’d been fifteen!
She’d been within a hair’s breadth of having her most longed-for dream come true and what had he done? Rejected her, in favour of the brown-haired witch sitting two chairs down from her.
‘Sarah!’ the witch suddenly snapped. ‘Where on earth is Nick? I got his meal for him and now he’s not here to eat it.’
Sarah gained some pleasure from seeing that Chloe was not pleased with her lover’s absence. Not pleased at all!
‘I have absolutely no idea where he is,’ came her seemingly nonchalant reply, which was followed up by another large gulp of wine.
‘But weren’t you just talking to him?’
‘Yes,’ she replied airily.
The witch’s eyes narrowed. ‘So what were you two talking about? Or weren’t you talking at all?’