Let Them Talk. Susanna CarrЧитать онлайн книгу.
physical relationships with women, but that was because his needs were simple. His whole focus had been giving and receiving pleasure.
He shouldn’t have read that notebook.
Matthew saw motion and a flash of black through the slats of the fence and realized Sydney was in her backyard. He walked to the gate and knocked before opening it. “Sydney?”
“Matthew?” He heard the surprise in her voice before she walked into his line of vision. His body tightened as his gaze drifted over her messy topknot, black tank dress and strappy sandals.
Yeah, he shouldn’t be doing this. But he couldn’t stop himself. Not since he found out that he starred in her erotic fantasies. Not since he discovered that they wanted the same thing. The town already believed they were having an affair. And he wasn’t going to let Sydney’s overestimation of his stamina and creativity get in the way.
“What are you doing here?” Sydney asked as she crossed her arms.
“I didn’t see you at the baseball game so I thought I’d drop by and ask if you wanted a ride.” It wasn’t a good lie but it was the best he could come up with.
“Didn’t you get my text?”
“Text?” He reached for his cell phone and acted as though he was scrolling through his messages. “No...what text?” he lied. He was sure he didn’t sound convincing. He was just a farm boy who was known for being too honest and Sydney was used to city guys who lied for a living.
“Wendy and I traded assignments so I’m not going to the baseball game. I had a tight deadline for this other article.” She motioned at the laptop computer on her patio table. “I’m sorry you came all this way.”
“No big deal,” Matthew said as he pocketed his phone. Remembering how much Sydney had written about his smile in her notebook, he gave her a lopsided grin. “Seedling’s baseball team isn’t going to offer an edge-of-your-seat game against Springfield anyway.”
“Yeah...” Sydney bit her lip and looked away. “Well...”
She was acting nervous and uncomfortable around him, and he didn’t like it. He was used to the sexual tension between them, but this was different. She was keeping her distance from him. He needed to change that. If he confronted her about the notebook too soon, she might get spooked again. No, he had to be cautious, even if it meant stretching the truth a bit.
“And if we had sat together at the game, people wouldn’t have left us alone,” Matthew said as he slowly approached her. “They mean well, but my friends and family can be nosy.”
A reluctant smile pulled at her mouth. “Gossiping is Seedling’s favorite pastime.”
“You don’t have to tell me,” Matthew said as he watched her closely. “Right now everyone at city hall is acting as if I’m having a red-hot affair.”
Sydney gave a guilty start and her eyes widened. “Really? With who?”
Matthew shrugged. “Don’t know. I’m just getting a lot of winks and nudges.”
She pressed her hand against her chest. “I am so sorry.”
“Why? It’s not your fault.” Embarrassment flickered across her face. He didn’t want her to feel guilty or embarrassed. He wanted her to be brave enough to voice her dreams, reach out and grab him. Tell him about the notebook. Act it out instead of writing it down and hiding it.
“I...I know you’ve been working hard to improve your image.”
“I must have been crazy thinking I could change everyone’s idea about me. I’ve been on my best behavior and no one has noticed.”
She reached out and rested her hand against his arm. “I’ve noticed. I’ve seen how much you’ve accomplished since I’ve been here.”
He stepped closer. “But you don’t know what I was like years ago.”
“Doesn’t matter,” she said and smiled. “I know who you are now.”
Matthew liked the way she gazed up at him. He felt powerful. Important.
“I can’t keep my hands off you,” he confessed as he curled his hand around her waist. “I tried but it’s not working.”
Her smile widened. “Good.”
“Good?” His eyebrow went up. “What was it you said yesterday? Something about how this was a bad idea.”
“I remember saying something about that.” She looked away. “The details are fuzzy.”
Matthew cupped her cheek with his hand. “Sydney, I don’t want to hear any excuses about why we can’t be together.”
Her eyes narrowed. “They aren’t excuses. They’re—”
He bent his head and covered her mouth with his. He kissed with a slow gentleness but it didn’t hold back the hunger inside him. Matthew drew Sydney close to him. “I don’t want to wait anymore,” he confessed.
“Come inside.” She grabbed his wrists and pulled him toward the screen door.
“No, let’s stay out here.”
“Here?” Her eyes widened. Matthew noticed the naughty gleam in her eyes before she banked it. “Someone might see us.”
“I won’t let that happen,” he promised. “Trust me.” He remembered what she’d written in her notebook. Most of the scenes had been outdoors. He had gotten that right about her. She wanted to feel wild and free, bold and daring.
Sydney glanced around as her skin flushed. “O-okay.”
He kissed her and felt her hesitancy. She wanted this but she didn’t completely trust him. Trust that he would protect her. In her fantasies, she’d given him her absolute trust. What could he do to prove she could rely on him in reality?
He gathered her closer, enjoying how soft she felt against him, but she took a step back. Her lips parted as if she wanted to ask a question. She let her hands fall to her sides. Her fingers clenched into fists.
“If you want to go inside, I’m all for it,” he said. “Whatever makes you comfortable.”
“No, I want to do it here,” she replied, her voice high and tight. “Like this... With you.”
“I’ll be honest, I want whatever it takes to be the focus of your world,” he admitted. “I want you to rely on me, cling to me. Forget everything and let go. Feel and not think. Surrender completely.”
She flinched and for a moment Matthew believed he had pushed her too hard, too fast.
“I will do whatever it takes to earn your trust,” he said softly. “I want you to feel safe so you can lose all control around me.”
Her breath hitched in her throat. “I already do,” she whispered.
Triumph swept through him. That was what he’d needed to hear. No qualifications, no bargaining. He wanted her to accept him, no questions asked.
* * *
SHE COULDN’T BELIEVE she was doing this. Excitement clawed through her as her heart pounded. This was risky. Too risky. So why had she agreed to this?
She tilted her head as she listened. No one was around. She heard a slight wind tugging at the leaves on the tree and the chirping of a bird. They were in her fenced backyard; no one would see them. Why not indulge in one of her fantasies?
But this was insanity. How far could she trust Matthew? How far could she trust any man? She’d never really allowed a lover to take care of her. Never let them take charge. In journalism, she had to push, dig and go after a story. She was the same in her personal life. Now Matthew wanted her to follow instead of taking the lead.
She reached out and flattened her hands against the solid wall