Adam's Daughter. Jennifer TaylorЧитать онлайн книгу.
turning up like that.’
She stared defiantly at him. ‘As I told you before, I had no idea that you had any connections with the surgery. Claire never told me that.’
‘Ah, yes, Claire. Funny how it all seems to come back to her. This is all to do with your sister, isn’t it?’
He leant forward and Beth could see the tension that had grooved deep lines on either side of his mouth. ‘I guessed that as soon as I worked out that it had been you phoning me this morning. It’s the only link you and I have. I knew your sister very well at one time, Beth, as you know. However, I haven’t seen her in years. So what possible reason could you have for seeking me out after all this time?’
Beth could feel her heart racing. The drumming beat was making her feel sick. So much hinged on how Adam took what she had to tell him that she was scared to death in case she made a mess of it.
She stared into his deep blue eyes, realising how familiar they were. Such a wonderful shade of blue, the thick black lashes that framed them simply highlighting the intensity of their colour…
She swung round and hurried back inside the flat then went straight to her bedroom. Adam was still sitting exactly where she had left him when she went outside again. The sun was lower in the sky now and his face was partly in shadow. It made it difficult to gauge his expression but she drove all thought of how he might react from her mind. She had to tell him the truth, no matter what happened afterwards!
‘I want you to take a look at this,’ she said huskily, her voice quavering because the tension was almost palpable at that moment. She handed him the photograph then turned away, not wanting to see his reaction.
The sky was red and purple now, streaked with gold along the horizon as the sun slid from the sky. Maybe Claire was looking down on them from that sea of glorious colour, and if she was then Beth prayed that her sister would understand why she had no choice but to break her word.
‘Who is she?’
She heard the tremor in his voice and her heart ached because she knew instinctively that he was going to find her answer painful. Maybe he had suspected why Claire had asked to see him all those years ago, but it was one thing to dismiss a suspicion and another to ignore a fact. There was a gentleness in her voice when she replied that she hadn’t expected to hear there because suddenly she cared how he took this news, cared not just because of Hannah but because of Adam himself.
‘Her name is Hannah and she’s six years old. She’s Claire’s daughter.’
She heard his swift intake of breath but she couldn’t stop, couldn’t let herself think of anything else at that moment except what had to be done. ‘She’s your daughter, too, Adam.’
Afterwards, she was never sure if the silence had lasted only in her imagination. It seemed to run on and on yet even though she was physically aching to say something, she couldn’t break it. She needed Adam to speak first so that she could decide how to handle the situation from that point on.
‘I didn’t know. I had no idea…’
Beth heard him take a deep breath but his voice was raw with pain and a host of things that made her eyes prickle with tears. ‘Claire never told me. She never, ever told me!’
‘I know she didn’t.’ She swung round, surprised by the need she felt to reassure him. His face was completely in shadow now but she saw the glitter of moisture on his cheeks and her heart quailed because of what else she had to tell him soon.
‘Claire decided not to tell you in that letter she sent you but…’
‘What letter?’ he demanded immediately. ‘I never received any letter.’
‘Claire wrote to you when she found out that she was pregnant,’ she said slowly. ‘She didn’t want to, but I persuaded her that she should.’
‘I never received a letter from her,’ he said, and his tone was so harsh and flat that Beth knew at once that he was telling her the truth. She shrugged, not sure what to say because this new development had shaken her. For all these years she had blamed him for not replying, suspected him of deliberately avoiding his responsibilities, yet suddenly she realised that she had been doing him an injustice. The crazy thing was how relieved she felt.
‘I don’t know what happened to it, then. All I know is that Claire wrote and asked if she could see you. She was going to tell you about the baby if she thought it was the best thing to do…’
‘What do you mean if it was the best thing to do? It was my child, damn it! I had the right to know!’
Beth heard the anger in his voice and knew that she had to find a way to explain her sister’s actions. ‘She wanted to do what was right for everyone concerned…you, the baby and herself.’
‘Really? How very good of her.’ His anger rose on a sudden wave and seemed to envelop them both. ‘What it boils down to is that she was going to sit in judgement on me, decide whether or not I was fit to be told that I had a child! How could that be right? You tell me that!’
‘Don’t! There’s no point getting angry with Claire. She didn’t do it to hurt you.’
It took just a couple of steps to reach the bench but Beth’s heart was aching when she saw how tightly his fingers were clutching the photograph. Adam was angry but more importantly he was upset and she wanted to help him understand because it might help.
‘You and Claire hadn’t planned on having a child and she didn’t want your whole life to be disrupted as a result of it. So she made the decision to try and find out how you would feel about the idea before she told you.’
‘And decided when I didn’t answer her letter that that was the end of it. It let her off the hook, didn’t it? Gave her an excuse not to contact me again. I hadn’t bothered replying so obviously I wasn’t interested. Was that what you both thought?’
She sighed, wishing that she could deny it. ‘She wasn’t to know that you hadn’t received the letter.’
‘Maybe not. But surely the possibility should have occurred to her. Claire knew that I was planning on going overseas. It wouldn’t take a genius to work out that the letter might not have reached me. She knew very well that she could have got in touch with me through my uncle, but she didn’t make any attempt to do so, did she? She conveniently wrote me out of my child’s life!’
Beth touched his hand and it felt icy despite the warmth of the evening air. ‘All I can do is repeat what I’ve just told you, that Claire did what she thought was best. You must try to believe that.’
‘It isn’t easy. All these years and I never knew that I had a daughter.’ He stared at the picture then ran his hand over his eyes. ‘I can’t seem to take it in. If you hadn’t told me, I would never have known about her…’
He stopped and she felt his hand clench on the photograph. His voice seemed to grate when he continued, vibrating along her nerves, filling her with apprehension. ‘Why did you tell me? You said that you’d spent a long time tracking me down but why now? You could have told me when your sister died, or at any point during these past seven years, but you didn’t. So why did you suddenly decide that it was time I knew about Hannah?’
Beth removed her hand abruptly. This was the really difficult part and she wasn’t sure that she could deal with it.
Only she had no choice.
‘Because Hannah desperately needs your help,’ she explained huskily, struggling to keep control of her emotions. ‘Six months ago she started being ill, you see. She was tired and listless all the time. At first I wondered if it was a reaction to Claire’s death even though she seemed to have accepted it.’
She knew that she was laying the ground, trying to lessen the shock so she continued when he didn’t say anything. ‘I was so worried about her that I took her to the doctor and he ordered some tests to be done. When the results came back they showed that Hannah had acute