Curiosities of Street Literature. VariousЧитать онлайн книгу.

      It is———is a comical place,

      And you’ll find from one end to the other,

      And all classes of persons through life,

      Can daily find fault with the other.

      Some can gossip and tattle about,

      And fill every person with dizziness,

      What an excellent thing it would be,

      If people would mind their own business.

      Did you see Mrs. Bubble-and-squeak,

      Walk out with her young daughter Sally,

      She has got on a new bonnet and shawl,

      And a nice handsome gown on the tally.

      Such a bustle, oh! dear, she does wear,

      Why cut up with pride I am sure she is,

      Some can always see other folks’ faults,

      But they never can mind their own business

      Mrs. Stradle has just gone along,

      Don’t you think she’s a queer sort of creature

      She owes tenpence for chandler’s shop score,

      Besides eighteen pence for the baker.

      And she can drink gin like a fish,

      Which oft fills her head with dizziness,

      But you know that, is nothing to me,

      For I always do mind my own business.

      Mrs. Thingembob, what do you think,

      You know Mrs. and Miss Carbuncle,

      Last night took the pillows and sheets,

      Their flat irons and gowns to my uncle.

      I think between you and me,

      It can be nothing more than laziness,

      I wish you’d take my advice,

      Look at home and mind your own business,

      And we shall all find enough for to do.

      Madam,

      The love and tenderness I have hitherto expressed to

      you is false, and I now feel that my indifference towards

      you increases every day, and the more I see you the more

      you appear ridiculous in my eyes, and contemptible—

      I feel inclined and in every respect disposed and determined

      to hate you. Believe me I never had any inclination

      to offer you my hand. Our last conversation I assure you

      left a tedious and wretched insipidity which has not

      possessed me with an exalted opinion of your character,

      your inconstant temper would make me miserable,

      and if ever we are united, I shall experience nothing but

      the hatred of my parents, added to the everlasting

      pleasure in living with you, I have a true heart to bestow,

      but however I do not wish you for a moment to think

      it is at your service, as I could not give it to one more

      inconstant and capricious than yourself, and one less

      capable to do honour to my choice, and my family.

      Yes, Madam, I beg and desire you’ll be persuaded that I

      think seriously, and you will do me a great favour to

      avoid me. I shall excuse you taking the trouble to

      give me an answer to this, as your letters are full of

      nonsense and impertinence, and have not a shadow of

      wit and good sense. Adieu, and believe me truly, I am

      so averse to you, that it is impossible I should ever be,

      Madam, your Affectionate Servant and Lover. R. G.

      Sir,

      The uniform tendency of your behaviour from

      the natural brutality of disposition evinced by you since

      the period of our acquaintance, has possessed me with

      a sovereign contempt of your understanding, without

      the most exalted opinion of your politeness and integrity,

      believe me, I have considered you a despisable being,

      and could I ever be induced to change my condition,

      you are the last person I should choose; nay, I despise you

      you are only capable of inspiring in me such ideas.

      Though it has lowered me in my opinion, nevertheless

      your letter has afforded me satisfaction by convincing me

      I am not so contemptible a character as I should be did

      I possess your esteem. With respect to your heart

      I believe it to be quite as worthless as your letter, and

      did it offer me a refusal some difficulty might occur

      to decide whether to throw it on the dunghill or the fire.

      Matrimony is a union not to be formed without due care,

      my knowledge of you has redoubled caution on this point,

      and I should prefer you on such an event taking place,

      if like Polita I wish to deal in monkeys and apes—

      I cannot conclude without giving thanks for your candour,

      though in it you may have violated every rule of decency,

      and I shall follow your example by assuring you I am

      resolved never to subscribe myself what I really am not

      your well-wisher and sincere friend, E. H. M.

      By reading every other line of the above letters the true meaning will be found.