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Psmith Series. P. G. WodehouseЧитать онлайн книгу.

Psmith Series - P. G. Wodehouse


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had advanced to the top step....; Another creak....; The vanguard had reached the second step....; In another moment——­

      CRASH!

      And at that point the proceedings may be said to have formally opened.

      A struggling mass bumped against Mike’s shins as he rose from his chair; he emptied his jug on to this mass, and a yell of anguish showed that the contents had got to the right address.

      Then a hand grabbed his ankle and he went down, a million sparks dancing before his eyes as a fist, flying out at a venture, caught him on the nose.

      Mike had not been well-disposed towards the invaders before, but now he ran amok, hitting out right and left at random.; His right missed, but his left went home hard on some portion of somebody’s anatomy.; A kick freed his ankle and he staggered to his feet.; At the same moment a sudden increase in the general volume of noise spoke eloquently of good work that was being put in by Psmith.

      Even at that crisis, Mike could not help feeling that if a row of this calibre did not draw Mr. Outwood from his bed, he must be an unusual kind of house-master.

      He plunged forward again with outstretched arms, and stumbled and fell over one of the on-the-floor section of the opposing force.; They seized each other earnestly and rolled across the room till Mike, contriving to secure his adversary’s head, bumped it on the floor with such abandon that, with a muffled yell, the other let go, and for the second time he rose.; As he did so he was conscious of a curious thudding sound that made itself heard through the other assorted noises of the battle.

      All this time the fight had gone on in the blackest darkness, but now a light shone on the proceedings.; Interested occupants of other dormitories, roused from their slumbers, had come to observe the sport.; They were crowding in the doorway with a candle.

      By the light of this Mike got a swift view of the theatre of war.; The enemy appeared to number five.; The warrior whose head Mike had bumped on the floor was Robinson, who was sitting up feeling his skull in a gingerly fashion.; To Mike’s right, almost touching him, was Stone.; In the direction of the door, Psmith, wielding in his right hand the cord of a dressing-gown, was engaging the remaining three with a patient smile.; They were clad in pyjamas, and appeared to be feeling the dressing-gown cord acutely.

      The sudden light dazed both sides momentarily.; The defence was the first to recover, Mike, with a swing, upsetting Stone, and Psmith, having seized and emptied Jellicoe’s jug over Spiller, getting to work again with the cord in a manner that roused the utmost enthusiasm of the spectators.

PSMITH SEIZED AND EMPTIED JELLICOE’S JUG OVER SPILLER

      Agility seemed to be the leading feature of Psmith’s tactics.; He was everywhere—­on Mike’s bed, on his own, on Jellicoe’s (drawing a passionate complaint from that non-combatant, on whose face he inadvertently trod), on the floor—­he ranged the room, sowing destruction.

      The enemy were disheartened; they had started with the idea that this was to be a surprise attack, and it was disconcerting to find the garrison armed at all points.; Gradually they edged to the door, and a final rush sent them through.

      “Hold the door for a second,” cried Psmith, and vanished.; Mike was alone in the doorway.

      It was a situation which exactly suited his frame of mind; he stood alone in direct opposition to the community into which Fate had pitchforked him so abruptly.; He liked the feeling; for the first time since his father had given him his views upon school reports that morning in the Easter holidays, he felt satisfied with life.; He hoped, outnumbered as he was, that the enemy would come on again and not give the thing up in disgust; he wanted more.

      On an occasion like this there is rarely anything approaching concerted action on the part of the aggressors.; When the attack came, it was not a combined attack; Stone, who was nearest to the door, made a sudden dash forward, and Mike hit him under the chin.

      Stone drew back, and there was another interval for rest and reflection.

      It was interrupted by the reappearance of Psmith, who strolled back along the passage swinging his dressing-gown cord as if it were some clouded cane.

      “Sorry to keep you waiting, Comrade Jackson,” he said politely.; “Duty called me elsewhere.; With the kindly aid of a guide who knows the lie of the land, I have been making a short tour of the dormitories.; I have poured divers jugfuls of water over Comrade Spiller’s bed, Comrade Robinson’s bed, Comrade Stone’s—­Spiller, Spiller, these are harsh words; where you pick them up I can’t think—­not from me.; Well, well, I suppose there must be an end to the pleasantest of functions.; Good-night, good-night.”

      The door closed behind Mike and himself.; For ten minutes shufflings and whisperings went on in the corridor, but nobody touched the handle.

      Then there was a sound of retreating footsteps, and silence reigned.

      On the following morning there was a notice on the house-board.; It ran:;

INDOOR GAMES: Dormitory-raiders are informed that in future neither Mr. Psmith nor Mr. Jackson will be at home to visitors. This nuisance must now cease. R. PSMITH. M. JACKSON.

      CHAPTER XXXVI

      ADAIR

       Table of Contents

      On the same morning Mike met Adair for the first time.

      He was going across to school with Psmith and Jellicoe, when a group of three came out of the gate of the house next door.

      “That’s Adair,” said Jellicoe, “in the middle.”

      His voice had assumed a tone almost of awe.

      “Who’s Adair?” asked Mike.

      “Captain of cricket, and lots of other things.”

      Mike could only see the celebrity’s back.; He had broad shoulders and wiry, light hair, almost white.; He walked well, as if he were used to running.; Altogether a fit-looking sort of man.; Even Mike’s jaundiced eye saw that.

      As a matter of fact, Adair deserved more than a casual glance.; He was that rare type, the natural leader.; Many boys and men, if accident, or the passage of time, places them in a position where they are expected to lead, can handle the job without disaster; but that is a very different thing from being a born leader.; Adair was of the sort that comes to the top by sheer force of character and determination.; He was not naturally clever at work, but he had gone at it with a dogged resolution which had carried him up the school, and landed him high in the Sixth.; As a cricketer he was almost entirely self-taught.; Nature had given him a good eye, and left the thing at that.; Adair’s doggedness had triumphed over her failure to do her work thoroughly.; At the cost of more trouble than most people give to their life-work he had made himself into a bowler.; He read the authorities, and watched first-class players, and thought the thing out on his own account, and he divided the art of bowling into three sections.; First, and most important—­pitch.; Second on the list—­break.; Third—­pace.; He set himself to acquire pitch.; He acquired it.; Bowling at his own pace and without any attempt at break, he could now drop the ball on an envelope seven times out of ten.

      Break was a more uncertain quantity.; Sometimes he could get it at the expense of pitch, sometimes at the expense of pace.; Some days he could get all three, and then he was an uncommonly bad man to face on anything but a plumb wicket.

      Running he had acquired in a similar manner.; He had nothing approaching style, but he had twice won the mile and half-mile at the Sports off elegant runners, who knew all about stride and the correct timing of the sprints and all the rest of it.

      Briefly, he was a worker.; He had heart.

      A boy of Adair’s type is always a force


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