The Essential Works of P. G. Wodehouse. P. G. WodehouseЧитать онлайн книгу.
he waxed fat and kicked.; Fortunately for him—though he did not look upon it in that light at the time—he kicked the one person it was most imprudent to kick.; The person he selected was Firby-Smith.; With anybody else the thing might have blown over, to the detriment of Mike’s character; but Firby-Smith, having the most tender affection for his dignity, made a fuss.
It happened in this way.; The immediate cause of the disturbance was a remark of Mike’s, but the indirect cause was the unbearably patronising manner which the head of Wain’s chose to adopt towards him.; The fact that he was playing for the school seemed to make no difference at all.; Firby-Smith continued to address Mike merely as the small boy.
The following, verbatim, was the tactful speech which he addressed to him on the evening of the M.C.C. match, having summoned him to his study for the purpose.
“Well,” he said, “you played a very decent innings this afternoon, and I suppose you’re frightfully pleased with yourself, eh?; Well, mind you don’t go getting swelled head.; See?; That’s all.; Run along.”
Mike departed, bursting with fury.
The next link in the chain was forged a week after the Gentlemen of the County match.; House matches had begun, and Wain’s were playing Appleby’s.; Appleby’s made a hundred and fifty odd, shaping badly for the most part against Wyatt’s slows.; Then Wain’s opened their innings.; The Gazeka, as head of the house, was captain of the side, and he and Wyatt went in first.; Wyatt made a few mighty hits, and was then caught at cover.; Mike went in first wicket.
For some ten minutes all was peace.; Firby-Smith scratched away at his end, getting here and there a single and now and then a two, and Mike settled down at once to play what he felt was going to be the innings of a lifetime.; Appleby’s bowling was on the feeble side, with Raikes, of the third eleven, as the star, supported by some small change.; Mike pounded it vigorously.; To one who had been brought up on Saunders, Raikes possessed few subtleties.; He had made seventeen, and was thoroughly set, when the Gazeka, who had the bowling, hit one in the direction of cover-point.; With a certain type of batsman a single is a thing to take big risks for.; And the Gazeka badly wanted that single.
“Come on,” he shouted, prancing down the pitch.
Mike, who had remained in his crease with the idea that nobody even moderately sane would attempt a run for a hit like that, moved forward in a startled and irresolute manner.; Firby-Smith arrived, shouting “Run!” and, cover having thrown the ball in, the wicket-keeper removed the bails.
These are solemn moments.
The only possible way of smoothing over an episode of this kind is for the guilty man to grovel.
Firby-Smith did not grovel.
“Easy run there, you know,” he said reprovingly.
The world swam before Mike’s eyes.; Through the red mist he could see Firby-Smith’s face.; The sun glinted on his rather prominent teeth.; To Mike’s distorted vision it seemed that the criminal was amused.
“Don’t laugh, you grinning ape!” he cried.; “It isn’t funny.”
He then made for the trees where the rest of the team were sitting.
Now Firby-Smith not only possessed rather prominent teeth; he was also sensitive on the subject.; Mike’s shaft sank in deeply.; The fact that emotion caused him to swipe at a straight half-volley, miss it, and be bowled next ball made the wound rankle.
He avoided Mike on his return to the trees.; And Mike, feeling now a little apprehensive, avoided him.
The Gazeka brooded apart for the rest of the afternoon, chewing the insult.; At close of play he sought Burgess.
Burgess, besides being captain of the eleven, was also head of the school.; He was the man who arranged prefects’ meetings.; And only a prefects’ meeting, thought Firby-Smith, could adequately avenge his lacerated dignity.
“I want to speak to you, Burgess,” he said.
“What’s up?” said Burgess.
“You know young Jackson in our house.”
“What about him?”
“He’s been frightfully insolent.”
“Cheeked you?” said Burgess, a man of simple speech.
“I want you to call a prefects’ meeting, and lick him.”
Burgess looked incredulous.
“Rather a large order, a prefects’ meeting,” he said.; “It has to be a pretty serious sort of thing for that.”
“Frightful cheek to a school prefect is a serious thing,” said Firby-Smith, with the air of one uttering an epigram.
“Well, I suppose—What did he say to you?”
Firby-Smith related the painful details.
Burgess started to laugh, but turned the laugh into a cough.
“Yes,” he said meditatively.; “Rather thick.; Still, I mean—A prefects’ meeting.; Rather like crushing a thingummy with a what-d’you-call-it.; Besides, he’s a decent kid.”
“He’s frightfully conceited.”
“Oh, well—Well, anyhow, look here, I’ll think it over, and let you know to-morrow.; It’s not the sort of thing to rush through without thinking about it.”
And the matter was left temporarily at that.
CHAPTER XV
MIKE CREATES A VACANCY
Burgess walked off the ground feeling that fate was not using him well.
Here was he, a well-meaning youth who wanted to be on good terms with all the world, being jockeyed into slaughtering a kid whose batting he admired and whom personally he liked.; And the worst of it was that he sympathised with Mike.; He knew what it felt like to be run out just when one had got set, and he knew exactly how maddening the Gazeka’s manner would be on such an occasion.; On the other hand, officially he was bound to support the head of Wain’s.; Prefects must stand together or chaos will come.
He thought he would talk it over with somebody.; Bob occurred to him.; It was only fair that Bob should be told, as the nearest of kin.
And here was another grievance against fate.; Bob was a person he did not particularly wish to see just then.; For that morning he had posted up the list of the team to play for the school against Geddington, one of the four schools which Wrykyn met at cricket; and Bob’s name did not appear on that list.; Several things had contributed to that melancholy omission.; In the first place, Geddington, to judge from the weekly reports in the Sportsman and Field, were strong this year at batting.; In the second place, the results of the last few matches, and particularly the M.C.C. match, had given Burgess the idea that Wrykyn was weak at bowling.; It became necessary, therefore, to drop a batsman out of the team in favour of a bowler.; And either Mike or Bob must be the man.
Burgess was as rigidly conscientious as the captain of a school eleven should be.; Bob was one of his best friends, and he would have given much to be able to put him in the team; but he thought the thing over, and put the temptation sturdily behind him.; At batting there was not much to choose between the two, but in fielding there was a great deal.; Mike was good.; Bob was bad.; So out Bob had gone, and Neville-Smith, a fair fast bowler at all times and on his day dangerous, took his place.
These clashings of public duty with private inclination are the drawbacks to the despotic position of captain of cricket at a public school.; It is awkward