The Greatest Regency Romance Novels. Maria EdgeworthЧитать онлайн книгу.
Baron, Charlotta, and Dorilaus, have all of them the highest notions of honour, generosity and gratitude, and can they approve that in me, which I am certain they would not be guilty of themselves!--Sure it is but to try me, they seem to exact what they are sensible I cannot yield to, without the breach of every thing that can entitle me to esteem or love!
Thus did he argue within himself for one moment; the next, other reasons, directly opposite to these, presented themselves.--Dorilaus, cried he, demands all my obedience;--all my gratitude:--without protection I had been an outcast in the world!--Whatever honours, whatever happiness I enjoy, is it not to him I owe them! Can I refuse then to comply with commands, which, he says, are necessary to his peace!--Besides, was it not Charlotta that inspired this ardor in me for great actions! Was not the possession of that charming maid, the sole end I proposed to myself in all I have undertaken! and shall I, by refusing her request, madly run the risque of losing her for ever!--Does not she wish, her father persuade, and Dorilaus enjoin me to return!--Does not love, friendship, duty call me to partake the joys that each affords!--And shall I refuse the tender invitation!--No! the world cannot condemn me for following motives such as these; and even the royal Charles himself is too generous not to acquit me of ingratitude or cowardice.
It must indeed be confessed he had potent inducements for his return to Paris, to combat against those of continuing in the king of Sweden's service; and both by turns appeared so prevalent, that it is uncertain which would have got the better, had not an accident happened, which unhappily determined him in favour of the latter.
Colonel Poniatosky, who had attended Stanislaus into Poland, now the disturbances of that kingdom were quieted, on hearing the king of Sweden was on some new expedition, obtained leave of Stanislaus to return to the camp, and implored his majesty's permission to be one of those who should partake the glorious toils he was now re-entering into. To which he replied, that he should be glad to have him near his person, but feared he would be wanted in Poland. No, may it please your majesty, resumed Poniatosky, there seems to be no longer any business in that kingdom for a soldier:--all seem ready to obey the royal Stanislaus out of affection to his person, and admiration of those virtues they are now perfectly convinced of; nor is Augustus in a condition to violate the treaty of resignation:--refuse me not therefore I beseech your majesty, continued he, falling upon both his knees, what I look on as my greatest happiness, as it is my greatest glory.
The king seemed very well pleased at the emphasis with which he expressed himself; and having raised him from the posture he was in, be it so, cried he, henceforward we will be inseparable.
Horatio was charmed with this testimony of love and zeal in a person, who had doubtless friends and kindred who would have been glad he had less attachment to a service so full of dangers as that of the king of Sweden, and somewhat ashamed he had ever entertained a thought of quitting it, resolved, as he had been more obliged, not to shew less gratitude than Poniatosky. Therefore, without any further deliberation, retired to his quarters, and prepared the following answers to the letters had been brought him. As all things in a lover's heart yields to the darling object, the first he wrote was to his mistress.
To mademoiseile DE PALFOY. "With what transports I received yours, adorable Charlotta, I am little able to express!--To find I am not forgotten!--That what I have done is approved by her for whom alone I live, and whose praise alone can make me vain, so swallowed up all other considerations, that it had almost made me quit Alranstadt that moment, and fly to pour beneath your feet my gratitude and joy!--But glory, tyrannic glory, would not suffer me to obey the soft impulse, nor re-enjoy that blessing till conscious I deserved it better!--My friends over-rate my services; and tho' that partial indulgence is the ultimate of my ambition, I would dare not abuse what they are so good to offer." "To feast my long, long famished sight with gazing once more on your charms, I would forgo every thing but the hope of rendering myself one day more worthy of it!--Too dear I prize the good wishes you vouchsafe to have for me, not to attempt every thing in my power to prevent the disappointment of them: the little I have yet done, alas! serves but to prove how much the man, who has in view rendering himself acceptable to the divine Charlotta, dares to do, when dangers worthy of his courage present themselves.--A small time may, perhaps, afford me an opportunity:--yet did you know how dear this self-denial costs me, you would confess it the greatest proof of affection ever man gave:--permit me therefore to gratify an ambition which has no other aim than a justification of the favours I receive:--continue to look with a favourable eye on my endeavours, and they cannot then fail of such success, as may give me a claim to the glorious. title of my most adored and loved Charlotta's. Everlasting Slave, HORATIO."
To her father he wrote in the following manner:
To the baron DE PALFOY, My Lord; "The favours your goodness confers upon me are such as can be equalled by but one thing in the world, and that is my just and grateful sense of them.--Charming would be the toils of war, did all employed in them meet a recompence like mine!--Is there a man, so mean, so poor in spirit, that praises such as I receive might not animate to actions worthy of them!--What acknowledgments can I make the count suitable to the immense obligations I owe him, for inspiring your lordship with sentiments, which, tho' the supreme wish of my aspiring soul, I never durst allow myself to hope; and which afford a prospect of future accumulated blessings, such as I could scarce flatter myself with being real, were not the transporting idea in some measure confirmed to me, by your having given a sanction to a correspondence I so lately despaired of ever obtaining!--Blessed change!--Extatic condescensions!--Fortune has done all she can for me, and anticipated all the good that, after a long train of services and approved fidelity, I scarce should have presumed to hope!--Oh my lord! I have no words to thank you as I ought! It is deeds alone, and rendering myself worthy of your indulgence, that must preserve your good opinion, and keep you from repenting having overwhelmed me with this profusion of happiness!--Yet how joyfully could I now pursue the rout to Paris, and content myself with owing every thing merely to your goodness, were I not with-held by all the considerations that ought to have weight with a man of honour!--My royal general is inflexible to the persuasions of almost all the courts in Christendom, and hurried by his thirst of fame, or some other more latent motive, has given orders to prepare for a march, where, or against whom, is yet a secret to the army; but by the preparations for it, we believe they are not short journeys we are to take.--Should I now quit a service where I have been promoted so much beyond my merit, what, my lord, but cowardice or ingratitude could be imputed to me as the motive! --Not all my reasons, powerful as they are, would have any weight with a prince, who is deaf to every thing but the calls of glory; and I must return loaden with his displeasure, and the reproaches of all I leave behind!--Now to return is certain infamy!--To go, is in pursuit of honour!--Your lordship will not therefore be surprized I make choice of the latter, since no hazard can be equal to that of forfeiting the little reputation I have acquired, and which alone can render me worthy any part of the favours I have received. I am, With the extremest respect and submission, Your lordship's Eternally devoted servant, HORATIO."
The last and most difficult task he had to go thro', was the refusal he must give to Dorilaus, who had laid his commands on him in such express terms; and it was not without a good deal of blotting, altering, and realtering, he at length formed an epistle to him in these terms:
To my more than father, my only patron, protector and benefactor, the most worthy DORILAUS. Most dear and ever honoured Sir, "To hear you are living, and still remember me with kindness, affords too great a transport to suffer me to throw away any thought either on the motives of your long silence, or that happiness, which you tell me, I may expect has been the produce of it:--it is sufficient for me to know I am still blessed in the favor of the most excellent person that ever lived, and am not in the least anxious for an explanation of any farther good. To tell you with how much ardency I long to throw myself at your feet, to relate to you all the various accidents that have befallen me since first you condescended to put me in the paths of glory, and to pour out my soul before you with thanksgiving, would be as impossible as it is for me at present to enjoy that blessing!--The king's affairs, it is true, would suffer nothing by my absence; but, sir, what would the world say of me, if, after a whole year of inactivity and idleness, I flew, on the first