ANNA KARENINA (Collector's Edition). Leo TolstoyЧитать онлайн книгу.
There was a time when I spoke about inner relations; now I do not speak of them. I speak now of external relations. Your conduct was improper and I do not wish it to occur again.’
She did not hear half that he said, but felt afraid of him and wondered whether it was true that Vronsky was not hurt. Was it of him they were speaking when they said that he was not hurt but the horse had broken its back? She only smiled with simulated irony when he had finished; and she did not reply because she had not heard what he said. Karenin had begun to speak boldly, but when he realized clearly what he was talking about, the fear she was experiencing communicated itself to him. He saw her smile and a strange delusion possessed him. ‘She smiles at my suspicions. In a moment she will tell me what she told them: that these suspicions are groundless and ridiculous.’
Now that a complete disclosure was impending, he expected nothing so much as that she would, as before, answer him mockingly that his suspicions were ridiculous and groundless. What he knew was so terrible that he was now prepared to believe anything. But the expression of her frightened and gloomy face did not now even promise deception.
‘Perhaps I am mistaken,’ said he. ‘In that case I beg your pardon.’
‘No, you were not mistaken,’ she said slowly, looking despairingly into his cold face. ‘You were not mistaken. I was, and cannot help being, in despair. I listen to you but I am thinking of him. I love him, I am his mistress, I cannot endure you. I am afraid of you, and I hate you… . Do what you like to me.’
And throwing herself back into the corner of the carriage she burst into sobs, hiding her face in her hands. Karenin did not move, and did not change the direction in which he was looking, but his face suddenly assumed the solemn immobility of the dead, and that expression did not alter till they reached the house. As they were driving up to it, he turned his face to her still with the same expression and said:
‘Yes! But I demand that the external conditions of propriety shall be observed till’ — his voice trembled — ‘till I take measures to safeguard my honour and inform you of them.’
He alighted first and helped her out. In the presence of the servants he pressed her hand, re-entered the carriage, and drove off toward Petersburg.
After he had gone the Princess Betsy’s footman brought Anna a note.
‘I sent to Alexis to inquire about his health. He writes that he is safe and sound, but in despair.’
‘Then he will come,’ thought she. ‘What a good thing it is that I spoke out.’
She looked at the clock. She had three hours still to wait, and the memory of the incidents of their last meeting fired her blood.
‘Dear me, how light it is! It is dreadful, but I love to see his face, and I love this fantastic light… . My husband! Ah, yes… . Well, thank heaven that all is over with him!’
Chapter 30
AS always happens where people congregate, the usual crystallization, if we may so call it, of Society took place in the little German watering-place to which the Shcherbatskys had come, assigning to each person a definite and fixed position. As definitely and inevitably as a particle of water exposed to the cold assumes the well-known form of a snow crystal, did each newcomer on his arrival at the watering-place immediately settle into his natural position.
‘Fürst Shcherbatsky samt Gemahlin und Tochter’ [‘Prince Shcherbatsky with his wife and daughter’], by the premises they occupied, by their name, and by the people they were acquainted with, at once crystallized into their definite and preordained place.
There was a real German Fürstin [Princess] at the watering-place that season, and consequently the crystallizing process was accomplished with special energy.
Princess Shcherbatskaya particularly wished to introduce her daughter to the German Royal Princess, and on the second day after their arrival performed that rite.
Kitty made a low and graceful curtsy in her very simple dress — that is to say, very stylish summer gown ordered from Paris. The Royal Princess said: ‘I hope the roses will soon return to this pretty little face,’ and at once a definite path was firmly established for the Shcherbatskys from which it was impossible to deviate.
They made acquaintance with the family of an English ‘Lady’, with a German Countess and her son who had been wounded in the last war, with a Swedish savant, and with a Mr. Canut and his sister. But the people with whom they necessarily associated most were a Moscow lady, Mary Evgenyevna Rtishcheva, and her daughter, whom Kitty found unpleasant because her illness was due to the same cause as Kitty’s — a love affair; and a Moscow Colonel, whom Kitty from childhood had seen and known in uniform with epaulettes, and who here — with his small eyes, low collar and coloured necktie — looked indescribably comical, and was also wearisome because it was impossible to get rid of him. When all this had become firmly established, Kitty began to feel very dull, especially as her father had gone to Carlsbad and she was left alone with her mother. She was not interested in the people she knew, for she felt that nothing new would come from them. Her chief private interest at the watering-place consisted in observing those whom she did not know and making conjectures about them. It was a characteristic of Kitty’s always to expect to find the most excellent qualities in people, especially in those she did not know. And now, when guessing who and what kind of people the strangers were, and in what relation they stood to one another, Kitty attributed to them extraordinary and splendid characters, and found confirmation in her observations.
Among these people she was specially interested in a young Russian girl who had come to the watering-place with an invalid Russian lady, Madame Stahl, as every one called her. Madame Stahl belonged to the highest Society, but she was so ill that she could not walk, and only on fine days occasionally appeared on the promenade in a bath-chair. But — not so much from illness as from pride, as the Princess Shcherbatskaya explained — Madame Stahl was not acquainted with any of the Russians there. The Russian girl looked after Madame Stahl, and also, as Kitty noticed, became intimate with all those who were seriously ill (of whom there were many in the place) and waited on them in the most natural way. This Russian girl, Kitty decided, was not related to Madame Stahl, but neither was she a paid companion. Madame Stahl called her by the diminutive ‘Varenka’, and others called her Mademoiselle Varenka. But besides the fact that it interested Kitty to observe the relations of this girl with Madame Stahl and with others, she experienced (as often happens) an inexplicable attraction toward this Mlle Varenka, and felt, when the girl’s eyes met hers, that the feeling was mutual.
This Mlle Varenka was not exactly past her early youth, but seemed to be a person destitute of youthfulness: she might be nineteen years old or she might be thirty.
If one examined her features, she was good-looking rather than plain, despite her unhealthy complexion. Her figure would have been good had she not been too lean and her head too large for her medium height; but she was not likely to prove attractive to men. She was like a beautiful flower which though not yet in full bloom is already beginning to fade and has no scent. Another reason why she could not be attractive to men was because she lacked that of which Kitty had too much — a restrained flame of vitality and consciousness of her own attractiveness. She seemed always occupied with something there could be no doubt about, and therefore it seemed that no side issue could interest her. By this contrast to herself Kitty was specially attracted. She felt that in her and in her way of life could be found a model of what she herself was painfully seeking: interest in life, the worth of life — outside the social relations of girls to men, which now seemed disgusting to Kitty, who regarded them as shameful exhibitions of goods awaiting a buyer. The more Kitty observed her unknown friend, the more she was convinced that this girl really was the perfect being she imagined her to be, and the more she wished to make her acquaintance.
The two girls came across one another several times a day, and every time they met Kitty’s eyes said: ‘Who are you? What are you?