The Essential Works of Theodore Dreiser. Theodore DreiserЧитать онлайн книгу.
This thing was the remains of his old-time cocksureness and independence. Sitting in his flat, and reading of the doings of other people, sometimes this independent, undefeated mood came upon him. Forgetting the weariness of the streets and the degradation of search, he would sometimes prick up his ears. It was as if he said:
“I can do something. I’m not down yet. There’s a lot of things coming to me if I want to go after them.”
It was in this mood that he would occasionally dress up, go for a shave, and, putting on his gloves, sally forth quite actively. Not with any definite aim. It was more a barometric condition. He felt just right for being outside and doing something.
On such occasions, his money went also. He knew of several poker rooms down town. A few acquaintances he had in downtown resorts and about the City Hall. It was a change to see them and exchange a few friendly commonplaces.
He had once been accustomed to hold a pretty fair hand at poker. Many a friendly game had netted him a hundred dollars or more at the time when that sum was merely sauce to the dish of the game — not the all in all. Now, he thought of playing.
“I might win a couple of hundred. I’m not out of practice.”
It is but fair to say that this thought had occurred to him several times before he acted upon it. The poker room which he first invaded was over a saloon in West Street, near one of the ferries. He had been there before. Several games were going. These he watched for a time and noticed that the pots were quite large for the ante involved.
“Deal me a hand,” he said at the beginning of a new shuffle. He pulled up a chair and studied his cards. Those playing made that quiet study of him which is so unapparent, and yet invariably so searching.
Poor fortune was with him at first. He received a mixed collection without progression or pairs. The pot was opened.
“I pass,” he said.
On the strength of this, he was content to lose his ante. The deals did fairly by him in the long run, causing him to come away with a few dollars to the good.
The next afternoon he was back again, seeking amusement and profit. This time he followed up three of a kind to his doom. There was a better hand across the table, held by a pugnacious Irish youth, who was a political hanger-on of the Tammany district in which they were located. Hurstwood was surprised at the persistence of this individual, whose bets came with a sang-froid which, if a bluff, was excellent art. Hurstwood began to doubt, but kept, or thought to keep, at least, the cool demeanour with which, in olden times, he deceived those psychic students of the gaming table, who seem to read thoughts and moods, rather than exterior evidences, however subtle. He could not down the cowardly thought that this man had something better and would stay to the end, drawing his last dollar into the pot, should he choose to go so far. Still, he hoped to win much — his hand was excellent. Why not raise it five more?
“I raise you three,” said the youth.
“Make it five,” said Hurstwood, pushing out his chips.
“Come again,” said the youth, pushing out a small pile of reds.
“Let me have some more chips,” said Hurstwood to the keeper in charge, taking out a bill.
A cynical grin lit up the face of his youthful opponent. When the chips were laid out, Hurstwood met the raise.
“Five again,” said the youth.
Hurstwood’s brow was wet. He was deep in now — very deep for him. Sixty dollars of his good money was up. He was ordinarily no coward, but the thought of losing so much weakened him. Finally he gave way. He would not trust to this fine hand any longer.
“I call,” he said.
“A full house!” said the youth, spreading out his cards.
Hurstwood’s hand dropped.
“I thought I had you,” he said, weakly.
The youth raked in his chips, and Hurstwood came away, not without first stopping to count his remaining cash on the stair.
“Three hundred and forty dollars,” he said.
With this loss and ordinary expenses, so much had already gone.
Back in the flat, he decided he would play no more.
Remembering Mrs. Vance’s promise to call, Carrie made one other mild protest. It was concerning Hurstwood’s appearance. This very day, coming home, he changed his clothes to the old togs he sat around in.
“What makes you always put on those old clothes?” asked Carrie.
“What’s the use wearing my good ones around here?” he asked.
“Well, I should think you’d feel better.” Then she added: “Some one might call.”
“Who?” he said.
“Well, Mrs. Vance,” said Carrie.
“She needn’t see me,” he answered, sullenly.
This lack of pride and interest made Carrie almost hate him.
“Oh,” she thought, “there he sits. ‘She needn’t see me.’ I should think he would be ashamed of himself.”
The real bitterness of this thing was added when Mrs. Vance did call. It was on one of her shopping rounds. Making her way up the commonplace hall, she knocked at Carrie’s door. To her subsequent and agonising distress, Carrie was out. Hurstwood opened the door, half-thinking that the knock was Carrie’s. For once, he was taken honestly aback. The lost voice of youth and pride spoke in him.
“Why,” he said, actually stammering, “how do you do?”
“How do you do?” said Mrs. Vance, who could scarcely believe her eyes. His great confusion she instantly perceived. He did not know whether to invite her in or not.
“Is your wife at home?” she inquired.
“No,” he said, “Carrie’s out; but won’t you step in? She’ll be back shortly.”
“No-o,” said Mrs. Vance, realising the change of it all. “I’m really very much in a hurry. I thought I’d just run up and look in, but I couldn’t stay. Just tell your wife she must come and see me.”
“I will,” said Hurstwood, standing back, and feeling intense relief at her going. He was so ashamed that he folded his hands weakly, as he sat in the chair afterwards, and thought.
Carrie, coming in from another direction, thought she saw Mrs. Vance going away. She strained her eyes, but could not make sure.
“Was anybody here just now?” she asked of Hurstwood.
“Yes,” he said guiltily; “Mrs. Vance.”
“Did she see you?” she asked, expressing her full despair. This cut Hurstwood like a whip, and made him sullen.
“If she had eyes, she did. I opened the door.”
“Oh,” said Carrie, closing one hand tightly out of sheer nervousness. “What did she have to say?”
“Nothing,” he answered. “She couldn’t stay.”
“And you looking like that!” said Carrie, throwing aside a long reserve.
“What of it?” he said, angering. “I didn’t know she was coming, did I?”
“You knew she might,” said Carrie. “I told you she said she was coming. I’ve asked you a dozen times to wear your other clothes. Oh, I think this is just terrible.”
“Oh, let up,” he answered. “What difference does it make? You couldn’t associate with her, anyway. They’ve got too much money.
“Who said I wanted to?” said Carrie, fiercely.
“Well, you act like it,