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William Shakespeare - Ultimate Collection: Complete Plays & Poetry in One Volume. William ShakespeareЧитать онлайн книгу.

William Shakespeare - Ultimate Collection: Complete Plays & Poetry in One Volume - William Shakespeare


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I do believe the swearer. What with me?

       QUICKLY

       Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or two?

       FALSTAFF

       Two thousand, fair woman; and I’ll vouchsafe thee the hearing.

       QUICKLY

       There is one Mistress Ford, sir, — I pray, come a little nearer this ways: — I myself dwell with Master Doctor Caius.

       FALSTAFF

       Well, on: Mistress Ford, you say, —

       QUICKLY

       Your worship says very true; — I pray your worship come a little nearer this ways.

       FALSTAFF

       I warrant thee nobody hears — mine own people, mine own people.

       QUICKLY

       Are they so? God bless them, and make them His servants!

       FALSTAFF

       Well: Mistress Ford, what of her?

       QUICKLY

       Why, sir, she’s a good creature. Lord, Lord! your worship’s a wanton! Well, heaven forgive you, and all of us, I pray.

       FALSTAFF

       Mistress Ford; come, Mistress Ford —

       QUICKLY

       Marry, this is the short and the long of it. You have brought her into such a canaries as ‘tis wonderful: the best courtier of them all, when the court lay at Windsor, could never have brought her to such a canary; yet there has been knights, and lords, and gentlemen, with their coaches; I warrant you, coach after coach, letter after letter, gift after gift; smelling so sweetly, — all musk, and so rushling, I warrant you, in silk and gold; and in such alligant terms; and in such wine and sugar of the best and the fairest, that would have won any woman’s heart; and I warrant you, they could never get an eye-wink of her. I had myself twenty angels given me this morning; but I defy all angels, in any such sort, as they say, but in the way of honesty: and, I warrant you, they could never get her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of them all; and yet there has been earls, nay, which is more, pensioners; but, I warrant you, all is one with her.

       FALSTAFF

       But what says she to me? be brief, my good she-Mercury.

       QUICKLY

       Marry, she hath received your letter; for the which she thanks you a thousand times; and she gives you to notify that her husband will be absence from his house between ten and eleven.

       FALSTAFF

       Ten and eleven?

       QUICKLY

       Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and see the picture, she says, that you wot of: Master Ford, her husband, will be from home. Alas! the sweet woman leads an ill life with him; he’s a very jealousy man; she leads a very frampold life with him, good heart.

       FALSTAFF

       Ten and eleven. Woman, commend me to her; I will not fail her.

       QUICKLY

       Why, you say well. But I have another messenger to your worship: Mistress Page hath her hearty commendations to you too; and let me tell you in your ear, she’s as fartuous a civil modest wife, and one, I tell you, that will not miss you morning nor evening prayer, as any is in Windsor, whoe’er be the other; and she bade me tell your worship that her husband is seldom from home, but she hopes there will come a time. I never knew a woman so dote upon a man: surely I think you have charms, la! yes, in truth.

       FALSTAFF

       Not I, I assure thee; setting the attraction of my good parts aside, I have no other charms.

       QUICKLY

       Blessing on your heart for ‘t!

       FALSTAFF

       But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford’s wife and Page’s wife acquainted each other how they love me?

       QUICKLY

       That were a jest indeed! They have not so little grace, I hope: that were a trick indeed! But Mistress Page would desire you to send her your little page, of all loves: her husband has a marvellous infection to the little page; and, truly, Master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in Windsor leads a better life than she does; do what she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as she will; and truly she deserves it; for if there be a kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must send her your page; no remedy.

       FALSTAFF

       Why, I will.

       QUICKLY

       Nay, but do so then; and, look you, he may come and go between you both; and in any case have a nayword, that you may know one another’s mind, and the boy never need to understand any thing; for ‘tis not good that children should know any wickedness: old folks, you know, have discretion, as they say, and know the world.

       FALSTAFF

       Fare thee well; commend me to them both. There’s my purse; I am yet thy debtor. Boy, go along with this woman. —

       [Exeunt MISTRESS QUICKLY and ROBIN.]

       This news distracts me.

       PISTOL

       This punk is one of Cupid’s carriers;

       Clap on more sails; pursue; up with your fights;

       Give fire; she is my prize, or ocean whelm them all!

       [Exit PISTOL.]

       FALSTAFF

       Say’st thou so, old Jack? go thy ways; I’ll make more of thy old body than I have done. Will they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the expense of so much money, be now a gainer? Good body, I thank thee. Let them say ‘tis grossly done; so it be fairly done, no matter.

       [Enter BARDOLPH, with a cup of sack.]

       BARDOLPH

       Sir John, there’s one Master Brook below would fain speak with you and be acquainted with you: and hath sent your worship a morning’s draught of sack.

       FALSTAFF

       Brook is his name?

       BARDOLPH

       Ay, sir.

       FALSTAFF

       Call him in.

       [Exit BARDOLPH.]

       Such Brooks are welcome to me, that o’erflow such liquor. Ah, ha! Mistress Ford and Mistress Page, have I encompassed you? Go to; via!

       [Re-enter BARDOLPH, with FORD disguised.]

       FORD

       Bless you, sir!

       FALSTAFF

       And you, sir; would you speak with me?

       FORD

       I make bold to press with so little preparation upon you.

       FALSTAFF

       You’re welcome. What’s your will? — Give us leave, drawer.

       [Exit BARDOLPH.]

       FORD

       Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much: my name is Brook.

       FALSTAFF

       Good Master Brook, I desire more acquaintance of you.

       FORD

       Good Sir John, I sue for yours: not to charge you; for I must let you understand I think myself in better plight for a lender than you are: the which hath something embold’ned me to this unseasoned intrusion; for they say, if money go before, all ways do lie open.

       FALSTAFF

       Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on.

       FORD

       Troth, and I have a bag of money


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