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William Shakespeare - Ultimate Collection: Complete Plays & Poetry in One Volume. William ShakespeareЧитать онлайн книгу.

William Shakespeare - Ultimate Collection: Complete Plays & Poetry in One Volume - William Shakespeare


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Like urchins, ouphs, and fairies, green and white,

       With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,

       And rattles in their hands. Upon a sudden,

       As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met,

       Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once

       With some diffusèd song; upon their sight

       We two in great amazèdness will fly:

       Then let them all encircle him about,

       And fairy-like, to pinch the unclean knight;

       And ask him why, that hour of fairy revel,

       In their so sacred paths he dares to tread

       In shape profane.

       MRS. FORD

       And till he tell the truth,

       Let the supposèd fairies pinch him sound,

       And burn him with their tapers.

       MRS. PAGE

       The truth being known,

       We’ll all present ourselves; dis-horn the spirit,

       And mock him home to Windsor.

       FORD

       The children must

       Be practis’d well to this or they’ll ne’er do ‘t.

       EVANS

       I will teach the children their behaviours; and I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the knight with my taber.

       FORD

       That will be excellent. I’ll go buy them vizards.

       MRS. PAGE

       My Nan shall be the Queen of all the Fairies,

       Finely attired in a robe of white.

       PAGE

       That silk will I go buy.

       [Aside] And in that time

       Shall Master Slender steal my Nan away,

       And marry her at Eton. Go, send to Falstaff straight.

       FORD

       Nay, I’ll to him again, in name of Brook;

       He’ll tell me all his purpose. Sure, he’ll come.

       MRS. PAGE

       Fear not you that. Go, get us properties

       And tricking for our fairies.

       EVANS

       Let us about it. It is admirable pleasures, and fery honest knaveries.

       [Exeunt PAGE, FORD, and EVANS.]

       MRS. PAGE

       Go, Mistress Ford.

       Send Quickly to Sir John to know his mind.

       [Exit MRS. FORD.]

       I’ll to the Doctor; he hath my good will,

       And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.

       That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot;

       And he my husband best of all affects:

       The Doctor is well money’d, and his friends

       Potent at court: he, none but he, shall have her,

       Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her.

       [Exit.]

      SCENE V. A room in the Garter Inn

       [Enter HOST and SIMPLE.]

       HOST

       What wouldst thou have, boor? What, thickskin? Speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.

       SIMPLE

       Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff from Master Slender.

       HOST

       There’s his chamber, his house, his castle, his standing-bed and truckle-bed; ‘tis painted about with the story of the Prodigal, fresh and new. Go knock and call; he’ll speak like an Anthropophaginian unto thee; knock, I say.

       SIMPLE

       There’s an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his chamber; I’ll be so bold as stay, sir, till she come down; I come to speak with her, indeed.

       HOST

       Ha! a fat woman? The knight may be robbed. I’ll call. Bully knight! Bully Sir John! Speak from thy lungs military. Art thou there? It is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls.

       FALSTAFF

       [Above] How now, mine host?

       HOST

       Here’s a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman. Let her descend, bully, let her descend; my chambers are honourible. Fie! privacy? fie!

       [Enter FALSTAFF.]

       FALSTAFF

       There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with, me; but she’s gone.

       SIMPLE

       Pray you, sir, was’t not the wise woman of Brainford?

       FALSTAFF

       Ay, marry was it, mussel-shell: what would you with her?

       SIMPLE

       My master, sir, my Master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go thorough the streets, to know, sir, whether one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the chain or no.

       FALSTAFF

       I spake with the old woman about it.

       SIMPLE

       And what says she, I pray, sir?

       FALSTAFF

       Marry, she says that the very same man that beguiled Master Slender of his chain cozened him of it.

       SIMPLE

       I would I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him.

       FALSTAFF

       What are they? Let us know.

       HOST

       Ay, come; quick.

       SIMPLE

       I may not conceal them, sir.

       FALSTAFF

       Conceal them, or thou diest.

       SIMPLE

       Why, sir, they were nothing but about Mistress Anne Page: to know if it were my master’s fortune to have her or no.

       FALSTAFF

       ‘Tis, ‘tis his fortune.

       SIMPLE

       What sir?

       FALSTAFF

       To have her, or no. Go; say the woman told me so.

       SIMPLE

       May I be bold to say so, sir?

       FALSTAFF

       Ay, Sir Tike; like who more bold?

       SIMPLE

       I thank your worship; I shall make my master glad with these tidings.

       [Exit SIMPLE.]

       HOST

       Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, Sir John. Was there a wise woman with thee?

       FALSTAFF

       Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my life; and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning.

       [Enter BARDOLPH.]

       BARDOLPH

       Out, alas, sir! cozenage, mere cozenage!

       HOST

       Where be my horses? Speak well of them,


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