Sons & Lovers. D. H. LawrenceЧитать онлайн книгу.
liked the children to talk to him, but they could not. Sometimes Mrs. Morel would say:
“You ought to tell your father.”
Paul won a prize in a competition in a child's paper. Everybody was highly jubilant.
“Now you'd better tell your father when he comes in,” said Mrs. Morel. “You know how be carries on and says he's never told anything.”
“All right,” said Paul. But he would almost rather have forfeited the prize than have to tell his father.
“I've won a prize in a competition, dad,” he said. Morel turned round to him.
“Have you, my boy? What sort of a competition?”
“Oh, nothing—about famous women.”
“And how much is the prize, then, as you've got?”
“It's a book.”
“Oh, indeed!”
“About birds.”
“Hm—hm!”
And that was all. Conversation was impossible between the father and any other member of the family. He was an outsider. He had denied the God in him.
The only times when he entered again into the life of his own people was when he worked, and was happy at work. Sometimes, in the evening, he cobbled the boots or mended the kettle or his pit-bottle. Then he always wanted several attendants, and the children enjoyed it. They united with him in the work, in the actual doing of something, when he was his real self again.
He was a good workman, dexterous, and one who, when he was in a good humour, always sang. He had whole periods, months, almost years, of friction and nasty temper. Then sometimes he was jolly again. It was nice to see him run with a piece of red-hot iron into the scullery, crying:
“Out of my road—out of my road!”
Then he hammered the soft, red-glowing stuff on his iron goose, and made the shape he wanted. Or he sat absorbed for a moment, soldering. Then the children watched with joy as the metal sank suddenly molten, and was shoved about against the nose of the soldering-iron, while the room was full of a scent of burnt resin and hot tin, and Morel was silent and intent for a minute. He always sang when he mended boots because of the jolly sound of hammering. And he was rather happy when he sat putting great patches on his moleskin pit trousers, which he would often do, considering them too dirty, and the stuff too hard, for his wife to mend.
But the best time for the young children was when he made fuses. Morel fetched a sheaf of long sound wheat-straws from the attic. These he cleaned with his hand, till each one gleamed like a stalk of gold, after which he cut the straws into lengths of about six inches, leaving, if he could, a notch at the bottom of each piece. He always had a beautifully sharp knife that could cut a straw clean without hurting it. Then he set in the middle of the table a heap of gunpowder, a little pile of black grains upon the white-scrubbed board. He made and trimmed the straws while Paul and Annie rifled and plugged them. Paul loved to see the black grains trickle down a crack in his palm into the mouth of the straw, peppering jollily downwards till the straw was full. Then he bunged up the mouth with a bit of soap—which he got on his thumb-nail from a pat in a saucer—and the straw was finished.
“Look, dad!” he said.
“That's right, my beauty,” replied Morel, who was peculiarly lavish of endearments to his second son. Paul popped the fuse into the powder-tin, ready for the morning, when Morel would take it to the pit, and use it to fire a shot that would blast the coal down.
Meantime Arthur, still fond of his father, would lean on the arm of Morel's chair and say:
“Tell us about down pit, daddy.”
This Morel loved to do.
“Well, there's one little 'oss—we call 'im Taffy,” he would begin. “An' he's a fawce 'un!”
Morel had a warm way of telling a story. He made one feel Taffy's cunning.
“He's a brown 'un,” he would answer, “an' not very high. Well, he comes i' th' stall wi' a rattle, an' then yo' 'ear 'im sneeze.
“'Ello, Taff,' you say, 'what art sneezin' for? Bin ta'ein' some snuff?'
“An' 'e sneezes again. Then he slives up an' shoves 'is 'ead on yer, that cadin'.
“'What's want, Taff?' yo' say.”
“And what does he?” Arthur always asked.
“He wants a bit o' bacca, my duckie.”
This story of Taffy would go on interminably, and everybody loved it.
Or sometimes it was a new tale.
“An' what dost think, my darlin'? When I went to put my coat on at snap-time, what should go runnin' up my arm but a mouse.
“'Hey up, theer!' I shouts.
“An' I wor just in time ter get 'im by th' tail.”
“And did you kill it?”
“I did, for they're a nuisance. The place is fair snied wi' 'em.”
“An' what do they live on?”
“The corn as the 'osses drops—an' they'll get in your pocket an' eat your snap, if you'll let 'em—no matter where yo' hing your coat—the slivin', nibblin' little nuisances, for they are.”
These happy evenings could not take place unless Morel had some job to do. And then he always went to bed very early, often before the children. There was nothing remaining for him to stay up for, when he had finished tinkering, and had skimmed the headlines of the newspaper.
And the children felt secure when their father was in bed. They lay and talked softly a while. Then they started as the lights went suddenly sprawling over the ceiling from the lamps that swung in the hands of the colliers tramping by outside, going to take the nine o'clock shift. They listened to the voices of the men, imagined them dipping down into the dark valley. Sometimes they went to the window and watched the three or four lamps growing tinier and tinier, swaying down the fields in the darkness. Then it was a joy to rush back to bed and cuddle closely in the warmth.
Paul was rather a delicate boy, subject to bronchitis. The others were all quite strong; so this was another reason for his mother's difference in feeling for him. One day he came home at dinner-time feeling ill. But it was not a family to make any fuss.
“What's the matter with YOU?” his mother asked sharply.
“Nothing,” he replied.
But he ate no dinner.
“If you eat no dinner, you're not going to school,” she said.
“Why?” he asked.
“That's why.”
So after dinner he lay down on the sofa, on the warm chintz cushions the children loved. Then he fell into a kind of doze. That afternoon Mrs. Morel was ironing. She listened to the small, restless noise the boy made in his throat as she worked. Again rose in her heart the old, almost weary feeling towards him. She had never expected him to live. And yet he had a great vitality in his young body. Perhaps it would have been a little relief to her if he had died. She always felt a mixture of anguish in her love for him.
He, in his semi-conscious sleep, was vaguely aware of the clatter of the iron on the iron-stand, of the faint thud, thud on the ironing-board. Once roused, he opened his eyes to see his mother standing on the hearthrug with the hot iron near her cheek, listening, as it were, to the heat. Her still face, with the mouth closed tight from suffering and disillusion and self-denial, and her nose the smallest bit on one side, and her blue eyes so young, quick, and warm, made his heart contract with love. When she was quiet, so, she looked brave and rich with life, but as if she had been done out of her rights. It hurt the boy keenly, this feeling about her that she had never had her life's fulfilment: and his own incapability to make up to her hurt him with a sense