The Double Life Of Mr. Alfred Burton. E. Phillips OppenheimЧитать онлайн книгу.
looked around him and back again at his questioner. There was no evading the matter, however.
"The great majority of it," Burton admitted, "has been sent in to us for sale from dealers and manufacturers."
The little old gentleman was annoyed. Instead of being grateful, as he ought to have been, he visited his annoyance upon Burton, which was unreasonable.
"Deliberate swindling, sir—that's what I call it," he proclaimed, rolling up the catalogue and striking the palm of his hand with it. "All the way from Camberwell I've come, entirely on the strength of what turns out to be a misrepresentation. There's the bus fare there and back—six-pence, mind you—and a wasted morning. Who's going to recompense me, I should like to know? I'm not made of sixpences."
Burton's hand slipped into his pocket. The little old gentleman sniffed.
"You needn't insult me, young fellow," he declared. "I've a friend or two here and I'll set about letting them know the truth."
He was as good as his word. The woman who had departed had also found her sympathizers. Mr. Waddington watched the departure of a little stream of people with a puzzled frown.
"What's the matter with them all?" he muttered. "Come here, Burton."
Burton, who had been standing a little in the background, endeavoring to escape further observation until the commencement of the sale, obeyed his master's summons promptly.
"Can't reckon things up at all," Mr. Waddington confided. "Why aren't you round and amongst 'em, Burton, eh? You're generally such a good 'un at rubbing it into them. Why, the only two people I've seen you talk to this morning have left the place! What's wrong with you, man?"
"I only wish I knew," Burton replied, fervently.
Mr. Waddingon scratched his chin.
"What's the meaning of those clothes, eh?" he demanded. "You've lost your appearance, Burton—that's what you've done. Not even a silk hat on a sale day!"
"I'm sorry," Burton answered. "To tell you the truth, I had forgotten that it was a sale day."
Mr. Waddington looked curiously at his assistant, and the longer he looked, the more convinced he became that Burton was not himself.
"Well," he said, "I suppose you can't always be gassing if you're not feeling on the spot. Let's start the sale before any more people leave. Come on."
Mr. Waddington led the way to the rostrum. Burton, with a sinking heart, and a premonition of evil, took the place by his side. The first few lots were put up and sold without event, but trouble came with lot number 13.
"Lot number 13—a magnificent oak bedroom—" the auctioneer began. "Eh?
What? What is it, Burton?"
"Stained deal," Burton interrupted, in a pained but audible whisper.
"Stained deal bedroom suite, sir—not oak."
Mr. Waddington seemed about to choke. He ignored the interruption, however, and went on with his description of the lot.
"A magnificent oak bedroom suite, complete and as good as new, been in use for three weeks only. The deceased gentleman whose effects we are disposing of, and who is known to have been a famous collector of valuable furniture, told me himself that he found it at a farmhouse in Northumberland. Look at it, ladies and gentlemen. Look at it. It'll bear inspection. Shall we say forty-five guineas for a start?"
Mr. Waddington paused expectantly. Burton leaned over from his place.
"The suite is of stained deal," he said distinctly. "It has been very cleverly treated by a new process to make it resemble old oak, but if you examine it closely you will see that what I say is correct. I regret that there has been an unfortunate error in the description."
For a moment there was a tumult of voices and some laughter. Mr. Waddington was red in the face. The veins about his temples were swollen and the hammer in his hand showed a desire to descend on his clerk's head. A small dealer had pulled out one of the drawers and was examining it closely.
"Stained deal it is, Mr. Auctioneer," he announced, standing up. "Call a spade a spade and have done with it!"
There was a little mingled laughter and cheers. Mr. Waddington swallowed his anger and went on with the sale.
"Call it what you like," he declared, indulgently. "Our clients send us in these things with their own description and we haven't time to verify them all—not likely. One bedroom suite, then—there you are. Now then, Burton, you blithering idiot," he muttered savagely under his breath, "if you can't hold your tongue I'll kick you out of your seat Thirty pounds shall we say?" he continued, leaning forward persuasively. "Twenty pounds, then? The price makes no difference to me, only do let's get on."
The suite in question was knocked down at eight pounds ten. The sale proceeded, but bidders were few. A spirit of distrust seemed to be in the air. Most of the lots were knocked down to dummy bidders, which meant that they were returned to the manufacturers on the following day. The frown on Mr. Waddington's face deepened.
"See what you've done, you silly jackass!" he whispered to his assistant, during a momentary pause in the proceedings. "There's another little knot of people left. Here's old Sherwell coming in, half drunk. Now hold your tongue if you can. I'll have him for the dining-room suite, sure. If you interfere this time, I'll break your head. … We come now, ladies and gentlemen, to the most important lot of the day. Mr. Sherwell, sir, I am glad to see you. You're just in time. There's a dining-room suite coming on, the only one I have to offer, and such a suite as is very seldom on the market. One table, two sideboards, and twelve chairs. Now, Mr. Sherwell, sir, look at the table for yourself. You're a judge and I am willing to take your word. Did you ever see a finer, a more magnificent piece of mahogany? There is no deception about it. Feel it, look at it, test it in any way you like. I tell you, ladies and gentlemen, this is a lot I have examined myself, and if I could afford it I'd have bought it privately. I made a bid but the executors wouldn't listen to me. Now then, ladies and gentlemen, make me an offer for the suite."
"Fine bit o' wood," the half-intoxicated furniture dealer pronounced, leaning up against the table and examining it with clumsy gravity. "A genuine bit o' stuff."
"You're right, Mr. Sherwell," the auctioneer agreed, impressively. "It is a unique piece of wood, sir—a unique piece of wood, ladies and gentlemen. Now how much shall we say for the suite? Lot number 85—twelve chairs, the table you are leaning up against, two sideboards, and butler's tray. Shall we say ninety guineas, Mr. Sherwell? Will you start the bidding in a reasonable manner and make it a hundred?"
"Fifty!" Mr. Sherwell declared, striking the table with his fist. "I say fifty!"
Mr. Waddington for a moment looked pained. He laid down the hammer and glanced around through the audience, as though appealing for their sympathy. Then he shrugged his shoulders. Finally, he took up his hammer again and sighed.
"Very well, then," he consented, in a resigned tone, "we'll start it at
fifty, then. I don't know what's the matter with every one to-day, but
I'm giving you a turn, Mr. Sherwell, and I shall knock it down quick.
Fifty guineas is bid for lot number 85. Going at fifty guineas!"
Burton rose once more to his feet.
"Does Mr. Sherwell understand," he asked, "that the remainder of the suite is different entirely from the table?"
Mr. Sherwell stared at the speaker, shifted his feet a little unsteadily and gripped the table.
"Certainly I don't," he replied—"don't understand anything of the sort!
Where is the rest of the suite, young man?"
"Just behind you, sir," Burton pointed out, "up against the wall."
Mr. Sherwell turned and looked at a miserable collection of gimcrack articles piled up against the wall behind