Humorous Readings and Recitations, in Prose and Verse. VariousЧитать онлайн книгу.
more than once, but that's only now and again. I'll write you a cheque and leave him here, so that he will know the ropes."
"Very well, I daresay we shall get on. I've ten clerks, and I've only changed once in ten years."
"That speaks well for you."
"I read character, and I'm kind," said Mr. Maybrick. "Sit at my table, you'll find pen and ink."
While Mr. Loyd was getting out his cheque-book and writing the draft, Mr. Maybrick turned his attention to his new clerk.
"Have you ever been out before?" he queried.
"Go out of the door?" replied Joe. "Yes sir, if you want to say anything of a private nature, I'll go with pleasure."
"No! no! do you understand work?"
"I beg your pardon, I sha'n't shirk anything."
"Bless me!" cried the broker, "I mean do you know business?"
"No business," answered Joseph, with a solemn shake of the head; "I am sorry for that; times are dull though, all round."
"I've got plenty, you mistake me, don't run away with that idea, you won't find this an easy place."
"Got a greasy face, have I?" responded Joseph. "It's not very polite of you to tell me that."
"What the——" began Mr. Maybrick, when Joe's father handed him the cheque.
"There's the needful," exclaimed Mr. Loyd.
"Thanks," replied the broker, adding, "I say, old friend isn't Master Joseph a little hard of hearing?"
"Oh! ah! not that exactly."
"What then?"
"He's got a cold in his head."
"Is that all?"
"Yes, he got his feet wet," said Mr. Loyd confidentially, "and I had to bawl at him this morning."
"I thought he was, ahem! a little deaf."
"Bless you no, raise your voice, that's all you've got to do."
"Ah! I see. It's bad to be like that," answered Mr. Maybrick, whose doubts were removed. "The weather's been so bad, everyone has had cold more or less."
Telling the intelligent Joseph that he should expect him home to dinner at seven, Mr. Loyd took leave of the broker, who gave his new clerk some accounts to enter in a book, saying that he might sit in his office for the remainder of that day and he would find him desk-room on the morrow, after which he hurried away to see what was going on in the general room.
Joseph hung up his hat and coat, and set to work. He certainly meant to do his best. They say a certain place, which the Hebrews call Sheol, is paved with good intentions; anyhow the fates were against him. Never before had his deafness been so bad. It seemed to have swooped down upon and swamped him all at once.
Scarcely had he begun his work than he was startled by the ringing of a bell.
It was just over his head and proceeded from the telephone.
Now Joseph knew just as much about a telephone as he did about the phonograph or the dot-and-dash system of telegraphy.
He sprang from his chair, turned ghastly pale, and fancied it was an alarm of fire.
What should he do?
For fully a minute he stood gazing vacantly at the box and the bell.
Then it rang again.
Joseph jumped half-a-foot in the air.
Then he rushed into the general room, where he found Mr. Maybrick talking to a client.
"Please sir, can I disturb you for a moment?" he said.
"I'm very particularly engaged, Loyd," replied the broker.
"Excuse me, but——"
"What is it?"
"There's a bell ringing."
"Oh! the telephone. I forgot to tell you to attend to it."
"It's rung twice."
"Then somebody is in a hurry. Answer and come and tell me what it is."
"How do you do it, sir?"
"Speak through the instrument, ask who it is, and what he wants, and put the tube to your ear."
The fright had somewhat stimulated Joseph's powers of hearing, for he caught these instructions and hastened back to the inner office. After a little experimenting he put himself in communication, and the following colloquy ensued.
"Who is it?" asked Joe.
"Oliphant," was the reply.
"Elephant," mused Joe. "That's funny."
But he went at it again.
"What do you want?"
"By one o'clock, sell 10,000 Mex. Rails."
Joe heard this order imperfectly.
"Buy 10,000 ox-tails," he said to himself. "This is a queer business."
Yet he was not discouraged.
Joe had not come into the City for nothing. He meant to do his duty or perish in the attempt.
"Right," he answered. "Is that all?"
"Yes. I'll call after lunch for the contract note."
"Very well, sir."
Having received his instructions, Joe, very proud of his success in manipulating such a peculiar instrument as the telephone, sought his employer.
"Well, Loyd," exclaimed that gentleman.
"It's all right, sir," replied Joe.
"What is?"
"The elephant wants you to buy him 10,000 ox-tails."
Mr. Maybrick elevated his eyebrows.
"Who did you say?" he demanded in a loud voice.
"The elephant."
"Mr. Oliphant, I suppose you mean."
"Ah! it might have been Oliphant, or Boliphant, it was something like that."
"Ox-tails. Why not Mex. Rails.? Mexican Railways, you know."
"Humph," said Joe, "very likely."
"Are you sure he said 'buy?'"
"Oh! yes, sir, that was distinct enough, and he said he'd come after lunch for the distracting note."
"Contract note."
"It may be that. The gentleman did not speak very distinctly."
"Oliphant has a low voice," said Mr. Maybrick, thoughtfully, "but he's one of my best customers. Perhaps he's heard something; he must have got some information. I'll have a bit in this myself. Oliphant is a very shrewd and careful speculator. That will do, Loyd."
Joseph departed, highly delighted.
"Ha! ha! ha!" laughed Mr. Maybrick when Joe had gone, "my new clerk is an odd one; 'Buy 10,000 ox-tails for the elephant,' that's good. I must tell that story in the House."
He beckoned to his manager, who was a man named Mappin, and told him to buy the required quantity of Mexican railway stock.
"Market's very weak, sir. It's fallen to-day one half already in anticipation of a bad dividend," replied Mappin.
"Can't help that."
Mappin went away to execute the order.
An hour elapsed, and a special edition of an evening paper was brought into the office.
It contained a telegram from Mexico, stating that there