Эротические рассказы

English Jests and Anecdotes, Collected from Various Sources. VariousЧитать онлайн книгу.

English Jests and Anecdotes, Collected from Various Sources - Various


Скачать книгу
where only his harmony can be exceeded.”—“Why,” said a lady present, “that epitaph will serve for you, with a very small alteration: there is nothing to do, but to change the word harmony for fireworks.”

      CURIOUS FACT.

      In the great catalogue of the British Museum Library many of the books are classed according to the subjects of which they treat. Against the head “Rebellion” there appears this notice (only)—“Vide Hibernia.”

      A SUDDEN RECOLLECTION.

      An Indian of the Abipones, an equestrian people of South America, was about to be baptized. “You will certainly go to heaven after this ceremony, when you die,” said the Jesuit who was to christen him. The Indian was content. Just as the water was on the point of being thrown, however, a doubt arose in the mind of the savage. “By this water I shall go to heaven?” said he. “As sure as there are mosquitoes in America,” answered the father. “But my friends, who will not be baptised.”—“They must go to hell: assuredly, they shall not miss; not a man of them.” “Then excuse me,” said the savage; “I am sorry to have given you this trouble; but I shall choose to go too.”

      ADVANTAGE OF BUTTONS ON LUTESTRING.

      Sir Baptist Hickes was telling how his gold buttons were cut off in a crowd, and he never the wiser, though the poorer. Sir Edmund Bacon asked him, if they were not strung upon lutestring? “No,” answered he. “Oh, fie,!” said Sir Edmund, “that was the cause it was not discovered; for if they had been strung upon lutestring, as soon as it was cut it would have cried twang.”

      WILLIAM III. AND SERGEANT MAYNARD.

      When the public bodies at London paid their court to the Prince of Orange on his arrival in the ever-memorable 1688, Sergeant Maynard, a man near ninety years of age, headed the deputation of lawyers. William, remarking his great age, expressed a supposition that he must have outlived all the men of law of his time. “Why,” said Maynard, with wit admirably suited to the crisis, “I was like to have outlived the law itself, if your Royal Highness had not come over.”[B]

      TWO REASONS AGAINST THE PRETENDER.

      A staunch Whig of the old school, disputing with a Jacobite, said he had two reasons for being against the interest of the Pretender. “What are those?” inquired the Tory. “The first is, that he is an impostor, and not really King James’s son.” “Why, that,” said the Jacobite, “is a good reason, if it could be proved; but, pray, what is the other?” “That he is King James’s son.”

      TRUMPINGTON.

      An ignorant preacher, the vicar of Trumpington, near Ely, having occasion to read that passage in Scripture,—“Eloi, Eloi, Lama sabbacthani,” and considering with himself that it might be ridiculous and absurd in him to read it as it stood, since he was vicar of Trumpington, and not of Ely, actually bawled out, “Trumpington, Trumpington, Lama sabbacthani.”

      Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.

      Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

      Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.

      Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.

/9j/4AAQSkZJRgABAgAAAQABAAD/2wBDAAgGBgcGBQgHBwcJCQgKDBQNDAsLDBkSEw8UHRofHh0a HBwgJC4nICIsIxwcKDcpLDAxNDQ0Hyc5PTgyPC4zNDL/2wBDAQkJCQwLDBgNDRgyIRwhMjIyMjIy MjIyMjIyMjIyMjIyMjIyMjIyMjIyMjIyMjIyMjIyMjIyMjIyMjIyMjIyMjL/wAARCBLAC7gDASIA AhEBAxEB/8QAHwAAAQUBAQEBAQEAAAAAAAAAAAECAwQFBgcICQoL/8QAtRAAAgEDAwIEAwUFBAQA AAF9AQIDAAQRBRIhMUEGE1FhByJxFDKBkaEII0KxwRVS0fAkM2JyggkKFhcYGRolJicoKSo0NTY3 ODk6Q0RFRkdISUpTVFVWV1hZWmNkZWZnaGlqc3R1dnd4eXqDhIWGh4iJipKTlJWWl5iZmqKjpKWm p6ipqrKztLW2t7i5usLDxMXGx8jJytLT1NXW19jZ2uHi4+Tl5ufo6erx8vP09fb3+Pn6/8QAHwEA AwEBAQEBAQEBAQAAAAAAAAECAwQFBgcICQoL/8QAtREAAgECBAQDBAcFBAQAAQJ3AAECAxEEBSEx BhJBUQdhcRMiMoEIFEKRobHBCSMzUvAVYnLRChYkNOEl8RcYGRomJygpKjU2Nzg5OkNERUZHSElK U1RVVldYWVpjZGVmZ2hpanN0dXZ3eHl6goOEhYaHiImKkpOUlZaXmJmaoqOkpaanqKmqsrO0tba3 uLm6wsPExcbHyMnK0tPU1dbX2Nna4uPk5ebn6Onq8vP09fb3+Pn6/9oADAMBAAIRAxEAPwDGo7UU UgEpaSlpgFFFFABRRRQAUUUUAFFFFACUCjFLQAUUUUAFFFFABRRRQAUUUUAFFFFABRRilxQAlFLi koAKKKKACiiigAooooAKKKKADFL2pKKADtRRRSAKKKKACiiigAooooAKKKKACiiigAooooABRRRT AKKKKACiiigAooooAKKKKACiiigAooopAFFFFABRRRQAUUUUwCiiigAooooAKKKKACiijFIAooxR QAUUUUAFAoooAKUUlLTAQ0UGigAooooAKKKKAAUtJS0AFFFFABRRRQAUUUUAFFFFABRRRQAUUUUA FFFFABRRRQAUUUUAFFFFABRRRQAUUUUAFFFFABRRRQAUUUUAFFFFABRRRQAUUUUgCiiigAooooAK KKKACiiigAooopgFFFFABRRRQAUUUUAFFFFABRRRQAUUUUgCiiigAooooAKKKKACiiigAooooAKK KKACiiimAUUUUAFFFFABRRRQAUUUUAFFFFABRRRQAUUUUgCiiimAUUUUAFFFFABRRRQAUYopaAEo oooAKKKKACiiigAooooAWkpaSgAooooAWkoooAKKKKACiiloASilooASilpKACiiigAooxRQAUUU UAFFFLQAUlLRQAUUUUAFFFIaAFopKKAFopKWgAooooAKKKKACiiigAooooAKBRQKACiiigAooooA KKKKACiiigAooooAKKKKACiiigAooooAKKKKAFFFAooAKKKKACiiigAooooASiiigAooooAKKKKA CiiloASiiigAooooAKKKKACiiigAooooAKKKKACiikoAWiiigAooooAKKKKACilFFACUUUUAFFFF ABRRRQAtFFFABRRRQAlFLRQAlLSUtABSUtIaACiiigBaKKKAA0lKaSgAooooAWiikzQAUUUUAFFF FABRRRQAUUUUAFFFFABRRRQAUUUUAFFFFABRRRQAUUUlAC0UUUAFFFFABRRRQAUUUUAFFFFABRRR QAUUUUAFFFFABRSZozQAtFFFABRRRQAUUUUAFFFFABRRRQAUUUUAIaKWigBtFFFACUtJRQAtFFFA BS9qSigAooooAKKKKACiiigAooooAKKKKACiiigAooooAKKKKACiiigBaSiigAooopAFFFFMAooo oAKKKKACiiigAooooAKKKKACiiikAUUUUAFFFFABRRRQAUCigUALSUtJQAUUUUwFNJQelFABRRRQ AUUUUAFFFFABRRRQAUUUUAFFFFABRRRQAUUU

Скачать книгу
Яндекс.Метрика