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But you need not fear me, Lady Hasselton, my love cannot wander if it would. In the quaint thought of Sidney,9 love having once flown to my heart, burned its wings there, and cannot fly away.”
“La, you now!” said the Beauty; “I do not comprehend you exactly: your master of the graces does not teach you your compliments properly.”
“Yes, he does, but in your presence I forget them; and now,” I added, lowering my voice into the lowest of whispers, “now that you are assured of my fidelity, will you not learn at last to discredit rumours and trust to me?”
“I love you too well!” answered the Lady Hasselton in the same tone, and that answer gives an admirable idea of the affection of every coquette! love and confidence with them are qualities that have a natural antipathy, and can never be united. Our tete-a-tete was at an end; the people round us became social, and conversation general.
“Betterton acts to-morrow night,” cried the Lady Pratterly: “we must go!”
“We must go,” cried the Lady Hasselton.
“We must go!” cried all.
And so passed the time till the puppet-show was over, and my attendance dispensed with.
It is a charming thing to be the lover of a lady of the mode! One so honoured does with his hours as a miser with his guineas; namely, nothing but count them!
CHAPTER III
THE next night, after the theatre, Tarleton and I strolled into Wills’s. Half-a-dozen wits were assembled. Heavens! how they talked! actors, actresses, poets, statesmen, philosophers, critics, divines, were all pulled to pieces with the most gratifying malice imaginable. We sat ourselves down, and while Tarleton amused himself with a dish of coffee and the “Flying Post,” I listened very attentively to the conversation. Certainly if we would take every opportunity of getting a grain or two of knowledge, we should soon have a chest-full; a man earned an excellent subsistence by asking every one who came out of a tobacconist’s shop for a pinch of snuff, and retailing the mixture as soon as he had filled his box.10
While I was listening to a tall lusty gentleman, who was abusing Dogget, the actor, a well-dressed man entered, and immediately attracted the general observation. He was of a very flat, ill-favoured countenance, but of a quick eye, and a genteel air; there was, however, something constrained and artificial in his address, and he appeared to be endeavouring to clothe a natural good-humour with a certain primness which could never be made to fit it.
“Ha, Steele!” cried a gentleman in an orange-coloured coat, who seemed by a fashionable swagger of importance desirous of giving the tone to the company,—“Ha, Steele, whence come you? from the chapel or the tavern?” and the speaker winked round the room as if he wished us to participate in the pleasure of a good thing.
Mr. Steele drew up, seemingly a little affronted; but his good-nature conquering the affectation of personal sanctity, which, at the time I refer to, that excellent writer was pleased to assume, he contented himself with nodding to the speaker, and saying,—
“All the world knows, Colonel Cleland, that you are a wit, and therefore we take your fine sayings as we take change from an honest tradesman,—rest perfectly satisfied with the coin we get, without paying any attention to it.”
“Zounds, Cleland, you got the worst of it there,” cried a gentleman in a flaxen wig. And Steele slid into a seat near my own.
Tarleton, who was sufficiently well educated to pretend to the character of a man of letters, hereupon thought it necessary to lay aside the “Flying Post,” and to introduce me to my literary neighbour.
“Pray,” said Colonel Cleland, taking snuff and swinging himself to and fro with an air of fashionable grace, “has any one seen the new paper?”
“What!” cried the gentleman in the flaxen wig, “what! the ‘Tatler’s’ successor,—the ‘Spectator’?”
“The same,” quoth the colonel.
“To be sure; who has not?” returned he of the flaxen ornament. “People say Congreve writes it.”
“They are very much mistaken, then,” cried a little square man with spectacles; “to my certain knowledge Swift is the author.”
“Pooh!” said Cleland, imperiously, “pooh! it is neither the one nor the other; I, gentlemen, am in the secret—but—you take me, eh? One must not speak well of one’s self; mum is the word.”
“Then,” asked Steele, quietly, “we are to suppose that you, Colonel, are the writer?”
“I never said so, Dicky; but the women will have it that I am,” and the colonel smoothed down his cravat.
“Pray, Mr. Addison, what say you?” cried the gentleman in the flaxen wig; “are you for Congreve, Swift, or Colonel Cleland?” This was addressed to a gentleman of a grave but rather prepossessing mien; who, with eyes fixed upon the ground, was very quietly and to all appearance very inattentively solacing himself with a pipe; without lifting his eyes, this personage, then eminent, afterwards rendered immortal, replied,
“Colonel Cleland must produce other witnesses to prove his claim to the authorship of the ‘Spectator:’ the women, we well know, are prejudiced in his favour.”
“That’s true enough, old friend,” cried the colonel, looking askant at his orange-coloured coat; “but faith, Addison, I wish you would set up a paper of the same sort, d’ye see; you’re a nice judge of merit, and your sketches of character would do justice to your friends.”
“If ever I do, Colonel, I, or my coadjutors, will study at least to do justice to you.”11
“Prithee, Steele,” cried the stranger in spectacles, “prithee, tell us thy thoughts on the subject: dost thou know the author of this droll periodical?”
“I saw him this morning,” replied Steele, carelessly.
“Aha! and what said you to him?”
“I asked him his name.”
“And what did he answer?” cried he of the flaxen wig, while all of us crowded round the speaker, with the curiosity every one felt in the authorship of a work then exciting the most universal and eager interest.
“He answered me solemnly,” said Steele, “in the following words,—
“‘Graeci carent ablativo, Itali dativo, ego nominativo.’”12
“Famous—capital!” cried the gentleman in spectacles; and then, touching Colonel Cleland, added, “what does it exactly mean?”
“Ignoramus!” said Cleland, disdainfully, “every schoolboy knows Virgil!”
“Devereux,” said Tarleton, yawning, “what a d——d delightful thing it is to hear so much wit: pity that the atmosphere is so fine that no lungs unaccustomed to it can endure it long, Let us recover ourselves by a walk.”
“Willingly,” said I; and we sauntered forth into the streets.
“Wills’s is not what it was,” said Tarleton; “‘tis a pitiful ghost of its former self, and if they had not introduced cards, one would die of the vapours there.”
“I know nothing so insipid,” said I, “as that mock literary air which it is so much the fashion to assume. ‘Tis but a wearisome relief to conversation to have
In the “Arcadia,” that museum of oddities and beauties.
“Tatler.”
This seems to corroborate the suspicion entertained of the identity of Colonel Cleland with the Will Honeycomb of the “Spectator.”
“The Greek wants an ablative, the Italians a dative, I a nominative.”