The Dearly Departed. Elinor LipmanЧитать онлайн книгу.
working.”
“When’s the funeral?”
“Friday morning. The wake is tomorrow night.”
“Dickie been okay? Helpful and all that?”
Sunny shrugged. “He wanted the wake at the funeral parlor, but I insisted. He said he’d need a permit for the theater, but I said, ‘Give me the name and number of the custodian and I’ll make one phone call.’ It turned out it was his sister’s husband—”
“Roland LaPlante.”
“So that took all of thirty seconds.”
“Everyone wants to help. The whole town feels responsible.”
“Responsible?”
“Like someone should have noticed. Or if someone had invited them over for dinner that night, then when they didn’t show, they could have called…. Or maybe we should have made carbon-monoxide detectors mandatory.”
Sunny’s eyes filled.
“You gonna be able to sleep? The King’s Nite’s not famous for its Sealy Posturpedics.”
“Probably not.”
Joey walked over to a wooden coatrack, patted the pockets of a navy blue windbreaker, and came back with a bottle of pills. “How about if I give you one or two?”
“Don’t you need them?”
He held the amber vial up to eye level. “There’s four in here. I might use one or two. But then I’ll forget about them and they’ll expire.”
Sunny held her hand out. “It must be legal if they’re being dispensed by the chief of police.”
Joey laughed. “You remember what a genius and scholar I was in high school, right? Well, I went to medical school nights. Or was it pharmacy school? I forget. I’d better go check my diploma.”
Sunny didn’t smile. She said politely, “I think we were in study hall together but not any classes.”
“Because the only time kids like us got thrown together was in study hall. Or maybe driver’s ed.”
“But here you are,” said Sunny. “Chief of police. You probably visit elementary schools and tell all the students how to be good citizens.”
“I do. I’m good at it. I can make quarters come out of their ears, and I can turn balloons into dachshunds.”
“When I teach at that level,” Sunny began. “Actually, when I taught—”
“That’s it? Past tense? You’re done with it?”
Sunny said, “I had a one-year contract.”
The phone rang. Joey put his hand on the receiver but didn’t pick up. “Does that mean fired?”
Sunny said, “Maybe it’s an emergency.”
Joey rolled his eyes. “King George Police Station, Chief Loach speaking.” He closed his eyes and kept them shut as he recited, “Only in winter. After April thirtieth you can park on either side.” He hung up. “That’s what I do: I give directions and I answer the questions people would ask the D.P.W. If we had one.”
“Then let me ask this,” said Sunny. “Off the record, is there a place I could hit a bucket of balls where I wouldn’t run into anyone who knew I was doing it the morning of my mother’s wake?”
“Why not at the club?”
“I’m not a member, and I just want to hit a bucket of balls. Preferably within walking distance.”
Joey pointed. “Route 12A North—maybe a mile past the Creamery. There’s a little hut on your left shaped like a hamburger and a bun. Opens at nine A.M.”
“Thanks,” said Sunny.
“Seriously: I can call a half a dozen guys who are members and would be happy to take you out as their guest. Believe me, they’d understand.”
Sunny said, “I know those guys. No thanks.”
“I can drive you. It’s not exactly next door.”
“A mile’s nothing,” said Sunny. “A mile will feel good.”
“Watch the oncoming traffic,” said Chief Loach.
No-nonsense Mrs. Angelo, famous for adding figures in her head, who rarely climbed down from her stool at the cash register, did so to enfold Sunny in a bosomy hug. “It’s a miracle that you walked in here! We were just saying that we wanted to send some platters over; some sandwiches, some pasta salad, the tricolor rotini, and an assortment of cookies—we do anise and pignoli beautiful.”
“I wasn’t planning any kind of reception,” said Sunny.
“You have to invite people back to the house after the funeral. They want to be with each other.” She led Sunny to the booth next to the cash register, despite the fact that it was already occupied by a woman in a white tennis sweater and maroon velvet headband. The woman removed her reading glasses, folded them into hinged quarters, and offered her hand.
“Sunny? I’m Fran Pope. You don’t know me, but I directed your mother in Watch on the Rhine, and we are all just shattered.”
Sunny said, “Did you say Pope?”
“Like the pontiff. As in Pope Sand and Gravel. Your mother and I—”
“Are you Randall Pope’s mother?”
Mrs. Pope’s face brightened. “I certainly am! You know Randy?”
Sunny inhaled and exhaled before saying, “I was on the golf team with him. He was captain the year I joined.”
“Of course I knew that. Very small world. I think your mother knew the connection.”
“She certainly did,” said Sunny.
“I hope he was a good captain,” said Mrs. Pope.
Sunny said after a pause, “He was a good golfer.”
Beaming, Mrs. Pope said, “It was his spring sport, which you probably know. Football was his first love, and basketball was second. Mr. Pope was a football fanatic, but I liked the basketball games, because I got to watch them in a nice warm gym.”
Sunny opened a menu and said without looking up from it, “Your son found a dead carp floating in the brook—or what was euphemistically called the brook—and put it in my golf bag.” She plucked several napkins, one by one, from a dispenser and spread them on her lap. “At least I was ninety-nine percent sure it was Randy.”
Mrs. Pope blinked, took a sip from her cup, blotted her lips, and asked, “Did Bill Sandvik get in touch with you? Or Bill Kaufman? Someone was going to call you and ask if we—meaning the Players—could say a few words at the funeral. We thought either of the Bills would give a stunning eulogy.”
“That would be fine,” said Sunny. “I’m sure my mother would love it. Would have loved it …”
“Bill S. was her leading man a number of times and has a gorgeous speaking voice, but Bill K. is a freelance toastmaster. They may still be sorting it out.”
“Either,” said Sunny. “Or both.”
“Everyone was rocked by this tragedy. It touched everyone in town, directly or indirectly.”
“I’m beginning to see that,” said Sunny.
“Did you order?” Mrs. Pope asked her, accompanied by the snap of Mrs. Angelo’s fingers behind