The Emma Harte 7-Book Collection: A Woman of Substance, Hold the Dream, To Be the Best, Emma’s Secret, Unexpected Blessings, Just Rewards, Breaking the Rules. Barbara Taylor BradfordЧитать онлайн книгу.
He was too young to die. It was unfair. Unfair. Emma began to weep, the tears streaming down her face unchecked. She would never see Joe again. The children would never see him again. Her mind floundered at the thought of Kit and Edwina sleeping so peacefully in their beds. She could not tell them the news. Not now. Tomorrow would be soon enough.
Her anguished mind began to race. How had Joe died? And where was his body? She wanted Joe’s body. Irrational as the idea was under the present circumstances, she wanted to give him a proper burial. The thought of Joe’s body lying smashed and neglected somewhere in France haunted her. It was a horrendous image that wobbled in the very centre of her brain.
Emma lay in the bedroom, unaware of the hour, watching the night descend, abandoned and lonely in her misery. And she grieved inconsolably for Joe. He had been honourable, and kind in an infinite number of ways, and now she dismissed all the traits that had irritated her, forgot the revulsion she had experienced in their marital bed. She carefully obliterated everything that had been distressing, remembered only the good and the best.
And she wept all night for the loss of a decent man, for all that he had been and had represented, and for the life they had shared together.
It was a glorious Sunday afternoon in late October, one of those unexpected Indian-summer days, radiant with crystalline light that flooded the periwinkle-blue sky. The garden was bathed in a golden haze and the trees and the shrubs were already turning colour, the autumnal foliage a glowing mixture of yellows and orange running to scarlet and burnt sienna.
Laura O’Neill sat on the garden seat lost in contemplation. Her thoughts as always were with Blackie in France. She had not received a letter for several weeks. On the other hand, that dreaded telegram had not arrived either. Despite the lack of news of any sort, Laura held the deep conviction that Blackie was safe and would continue to be safe and that he would come home to her when the war was over. Her unwavering faith in Almighty God was the rock upon which her life was built, and she knew with absolute certainty that Blackie was under His divine protection. Laura, always devout, now went every day to mass, disregarding Emma’s advice that she stay in bed and rest. She lit innumerable candles for Blackie and Winston and for all of the other fighting men. And her gentle heart overflowed with grief for those who had lost sons and husbands and sweethearts, and most especially for Emma, widowed four months before.
Emma was working at the other end of the garden, filling a basket with magnificent gold and copper winter chrysanthemums. Laura’s hazel eyes rested on her dearest friend and her heart tightened with love and sympathy. She’s painfully thin, Laura thought. And she’s exhausted. She works like a Trojan and her responsibilities would crush anyone else. Even the strongest and most determined of men would stagger under the burden.
It seemed to Laura that Emma had been imbued with an almost inhuman strength since Joe’s death. She not only ran her own businesses and managed Joe’s properties as well, but played a major administrative role at the Kallinski factories. Yet withal she still found time to devote hours to the children, trying to surround them with love and security. That is Emma’s way of coping with her sorrow, Laura decided. The only way she knows how to go on. Her work and the children have become her citadel.
Laura sighed deeply. Death was never final. The person loved was gone but there were always the others, the ones left behind to mourn. The sadness of life is ever present, Laura thought, and yet there is joy in life, too. Joy like the child she was carrying. The child she yearned to give Blackie. She placed her hands across her stomach protectively and with love, and she thanked God she had not miscarried this time. Yes, there was death, but there was also birth. A continual renewal … the endless cycle that was eternal, that was man’s inexorable fate.
Emma having completed her tasks, pulled off her gardening gloves and joined Laura on the seat. ‘You’re not feeling chilly, are you?’ she asked. ‘I think we ought to go in shortly. I don’t want you to catch a cold. Not now when you’ve been so well.’ Emma eyed Laura lovingly. ‘You only have two more months to wait and then you’ll be presenting Blackie with that son and heir.’
Laura nodded, her happiness overflowing in her eyes. ‘This pregnancy has been so easy, Emma. A miracle. I offer thanks for that every day.’
‘So do I, love.’
Laura took Emma’s hand in hers and said softly, ‘I haven’t wanted to upset you by bringing it up before, but is Edwina any better?’
‘A little.’ Emma’s voice was low. ‘If only she would cry then perhaps her grief for Joe would be alleviated. As it is, it’s all pent up and her self-control frightens me. It’s not natural.’
A look of sympathy crossed Laura’s face. ‘No, it’s not healthy to repress that kind of anguish and pain. Poor Edwina, she did adore Joe so much.’
‘I’ve talked to her for hours, tried to give her comfort and understanding, without much success. It’s as if she wants to bear it alone. Stoically. I don’t know what to do anymore—’ Emma stopped. After a moment she added in a dim voice, ‘Sometimes I think I misjudged Joe.’
‘What do you mean?’ Laura asked in puzzlement.
‘Well, now when I look back, I realize how kind he was, and so generous in a variety of ways. His will, for instance. I was thunderstruck when Mr Ainsley read it to me and I learned Joe had left all the properties to me. I expected him to make Kit the sole beneficiary, willing him the business and everything. I haven’t been able to get over that gesture. After all, Kit is the only son.’
‘Joe left all of his money to Kit, dear,’ Laura cut in swiftly. ‘Except for the annuity for Edwina. Look, Emma, Joe always appreciated your business acumen. He wasn’t cheating Kit. He was simply being wise, knowing you would handle everything with efficiency and in doing so provide for the children’s future. He trusted you, Emma. He knew you would do the right thing.’
‘I suppose so. But I still feel I did Joe many injustices when he was alive.’
Laura squeezed Emma’s arm affectionately. ‘You were a good wife. Don’t start chastising yourself now for things that happened in the past. And don’t forget, human relationships are never static. They change from day to day, because they are highly complex and also because people are changeable. And life intrudes. Problems intrude and create tensions. You gave Joe a great deal, even if you did have disagreements occasionally. I know you made him happy. Please, Emma, you must believe that.’
‘I hope I did,’ Emma murmured.
Noting the sad echo in Emma’s voice and wishing to distract her, Laura said briskly, ‘Shall we go in, dear? I’m getting cold and I would like some tea.’ As she spoke she stood up, pulling the yellow shawl closer around her shoulders.
Emma took Laura’s arm as they walked across the lawn. ‘What would I do without you, my sweet Laura? You’re so wise, and you always make me feel better.’
‘I can say the same thing about you, Emma. Why, you’re the best friend I ever had.’
‘Ah, there you are, Mrs Lowther,’ Dr Stalkley said, hurrying through the swinging doors of the waiting room. ‘Mrs O’Neill has been asking for you.’
Emma stood up, clutching her handbag tightly. ‘Please,’ she said anxiously, ‘is everything all right? I don’t understand what happened so suddenly.’
The doctor gave her an avuncular pat on the shoulder. ‘It was a question of operating or going through with the natural childbirth. Because of her religion, Mrs O’Neill was quite adamant about the operation—’
‘What do you mean? I’m not following you, Doctor,’ Emma interrupted peremptorily.
‘Mrs O’Neill would not permit us to operate because there was the possibility – in fact, the great probability – that she would have lost the child. The operation would have been wiser, safer, of course.